about this argument with my wife?

[GregVegas]

hi there

i need some advice

my wife and i are moving abroad on sunday and are in the process of packing and getting the house sorted ready to be rented out

my wife told me i was in charge of taking rubbish / unwanted items to the dump and she would pack everything else. she was making piles of 'wanted' and 'unwanted' and she accidentally put a personal possession of hers in the unwanted pile. i then took it to the dump.

this morning she asked me where the item was and i said i was pretty sure it had been put in an 'unwanted' bag and that i'd chucked it. she got really angry and started ranting about how im so unthoughtful and how i should have known she wanted to keep this thing and how it was all my fault.

i was tired and not in the mood for screaming and shouting so i went to walk out of the room, she grabbed my arm to pull me back so i turned around and pushed her, she fell over.

she is still not talking to me and claims i hit her.

i just wanted her to let me go so i could calm down and she wouldnt let me. she is still not speaking to me.

susanbunch is exactly the kind of entitled female that gives feminists a bad name. OP it is NOT okay that you shoved your wife, but I think it's very concerning on her point that she can't control her emotions to the point that when she's upset, she screams and shouts at you. And when you try and disengage from a verbally aggressive situation, she grabs you? I am female and if the situation was reversed and my partner screamed at me and grabbed me, I'd leave him.

CritEqual- I thought the same. Sounds like OP needs to read "I hate you, please don't leave me" and actually take heed of what it says.

OP, if you're reading this, I read the book, I also found stuff from Shari Shreiber who is a psychologist who seems very negative on those with personality disorders. The materials I read we're for those who had relationships with people with PD. I used them materials to modify my own behaviours. Along with CBT i am able to manage my PD without it rubbing off on people around me.

Parispapillon I think you're confusing a temper tantrum with a panic attack. And whether consciously or not you're being horribly manipulative with your husband.

@Parispapillon Congratulations on manipulating the victim of your angry abuse, but don't dare suggest OP lets himself be similarly manipulated.

Parispapillion's #relationshipgoals:

This certainly sounds like an extremely unhealthy relationship. I would advise OP to rethink moving abroad, especially if, as PP have suggested, it was the wife's idea: it may well be her attempt to isolate him.

And yes, usually a troubled relationship is a matter of the man abusing the woman, because abuse perpetrated by men against women is far more common, but that doesn't mean women abusing their male partners never happens.