To think weddings are a bit pointless?

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When I was younger I wanted a big white wedding, had lovely fantasies about walking down the aisle in something meringuey and being the centre of attention. However, the reality would have been me being absolutely terrified the entire time, not from the commitment, but from being looked at for a whole day.

I'm in my late twenties and a lot of friends are getting engaged and getting very excited about wedding things, and I just can't see the appeal.
It seems to be, for some of them, a very expensive way of being centre of attention for a day and a few friends have truly lost their minds, spending thousands and falling out with family etc.

I like the idea of marriage, but not a wedding. However most people seem to think I'm nuts.
If people genuinely want a big party, that's absolutely great and I hope they enjoy it but I just can't see how it's linked with spending the rest of your life with someone you love, rather it seems to be about putting on a good show?

Am I a huge big wedding scrooge for thinking this? I feel like a right weirdo when I read the wedding threads and see how bothered people get.

Before anyone flames me, I would never dream of putting someone down for their choices! I just simply don't "get it"

I absolutely loved our wedding day and the two years spent planning it. Yes the bottom line is it's about you and your other half, but we kept our wedding fairly small and intimate (around 40 guests during the day), who were just very close friends (my bridesmaids) and immediate family. We genuinely did feel that everyone there was celebrating with us and it was really important to us to spend our special day with all those people who are special to us. I never wanted to "show off" but to be honest why shouldn't we enjoy being centre of attention for just 1 day? I sure did enjoy it

There's nothing that says you HAVE to have a "traditional" wedding at all. Plenty of people just elope to get married or go down to their local registry office and just tie the knot with a couple of witnesses.

If money was no object then I'd love a big celebration with a sit-down meal, a live band, a dozen bridesmaids and a honeymoon cruise. But in the real world I need the money more than I need a party, so I had a buffet and disco and no honeymoon at all.

Imo the problem arises when ordinary people who can't afford to splash huge amounts of cash suddenly decide to bankrupt themselves to feel special for a single day, and they're spending so much that they're desperate for everything to be perfect.

I feel much the same as I've never felt comfortable being the centre of attention. I had a small wedding and it got 'hi-jacked' a little by MIL who obviously wanted something a bit grander.

I would have eloped if I could but it would have hurt other peoples' feelings and although a wedding should be about just the two of you it does involve family as well, whether you like it or not.

It turned out not to be very satisfactory all round which I regret a little as none of us got what we really wanted.

you don’t get it! So what? I don’t get pot holing, caving, showing dogs, curry too hot to taste, holidaying in caravans, folk music, real ale or a million other hobbies, interests and ways to spend time. But that doesn’t mean that people who do “get it” have to waste their time explaining to me what the appeal is.
If you don’t like big weddings, don’t have one. If you don’t want to spend a day celebrating and enjoying a big party with friends and family, don’t attend other people’s weddings. But don’t moan about something because nobody can change what you like or what others like.

I think it is all about the couple doing what they want on their special day. It might be large and traditional with a formal meal, or it might be small and laid back. The important thing is the sharing of the day with those you care about and who care about you. I had a fairly formal wedding though it was register office as DH had been married before. I wanted this because all my cousins and most of my school friends had weddings like that and I'd enjoyed being a guest very much. I didn't detect a "look at me" approach from any of the brides, just a desire to look as lovely as they could - one friend who was rather eccentric wore a white short skirt like a tutu, another a grey dress with a pink hat. One of my cousins wore her mother's wedding dress and another 3 treasured one dress that they each in turn had altered and wore slightly differently. I do worry a bit if people feel obliged or pressured to spend more than they can afford, and unless you are mega wealthy there really is no need.

I wanted to elope.

My husband wanted the big shebang (and had the money to pay for it). I love him so doing what he wanted for one day of my life wasn't a big deal.

It was nice to host all our friends and family in style for once. I do sometimes wince over the money, but it wasn't my money.

As an Events Planner- weddings included- I've seen all sorts, I could write an amazing book.
Having worked on weddings in 3 continents, I've seen where I believe weddings are a total waste of time.
There are some countries where you think; what is the point? However like some one on here said, each to their own.
I get paid, but sometimes I really feel for the couple.

Oooh tell us more millies I'm a nosy cow I can give you feedback for your potential book....

Sorry but the true joy of a wedding can never be experienced unless you have one of your own.

Celebrating your love surrounded by your closest family and friends is truly something special.

Nope, not the 'best day of my life' either. Big, traditional white wedding, everything I wanted...yet so stressful I was ill the morning of it, hated everyone looking at me and still think it was a huge waste of money.

Have just been to a family members wedding too. This was an absolute pantomime! Themed beach wedding in a north west town???? The bride loves the beach...didn't feel at all that it was the grooms wedding. The bride and her friends are all teachers, it felt more like the latest early years theme, Pinterest gone mad!

Small, tasteful, simple and no theme for me. It is a wedding fgs!

Yes Pinterest has a LOT to answer for! So many people doing the recycled jars with candles, button napkins and hessian, twine and books with pages cut out to make decorations. But I guess ultimately each to their own.

YANBU OP, I don't understand most weddings either.

The ones abroad are a total piss-take. Obviously they say "Oh no pressure, whoever wants to come can come", yeah right and you'll hold it against me forever if I don't go. So ok I'll take my child out of school(because you asked for them to be IN the wedding, but no pressure) and spend £2,500 on flights, hotel and spending money for YOUR wedding.