To ask for £240 for hen party?

[Ihatemyclients]

Timely thread since there was another about hen party costs earlier!

I want to know - is this unreasonable for 2 nights' accommodation in a Scottish castle, all food, all decor / games / activities, and about 1.5 bottles of prosecco per person? So basically everything except additional alcohol the hens may want to bring.

I wanted it to cost a lot less than this but this is the cheapest I've managed to get it and still accommodate the bride's wishes. The main cost is the accommodation as options were limited for the number of people coming (she has a huge number of friends apparently!). I could make some savings by getting rid of the prosecco but it only knocks a couple of pounds off of the end bill (because I'm getting it dead cheap from a friend who is a wine merchant). On everything else I've gone as low as I think I reasonably can.

I just feel bad because I've resented being asked to pay through the nose for hen parties before. What do you think? Is it a totally unreasonable amount?

YABU. whatever happened to the good old Hen Night? not everyone can afford or justify £240. I know I would rather spend that amount of money on a family get away.

If the bride has lots of friends she'll need to be prepared many not to come at that price. I think it is unfair of her to give you such precise instructions - especially if the cost is going to be pushed up so high. Depending on her friends' situations, a request for £200+ could be upsetting - say if someone is struggling with money but really wanted to go.

Also, if say 10 out of her friends can't come - will the price go up for all the others? Also if people drop out, make sure you don't end up paying for them!

How could the bride have NO IDEA about how much it might cost to hire a castle for two nights?

I’ll come, it sounds great!

I would expect to spend £240 on a hen weekend. I do however agree the most attended hens are the most accessible/affordable ones. So the bride needs to pick - cheap/simple hen = lots of guests. Expensive/abroad/2 day hen = less guests.

I've been to 'small hens' (6 people or less) but to nice places - Prague, luxury spa with overnight stay, Las Vegas; and as we've all known each other well we've all been on the same page about an amount we're happy to part with and it's been easy to plan - just like planning a group holiday really.

I've also been a bridesmaid (and on the hen planning 'committee') for a hen party than initially had 22 interested attendees. It was a nightmare to organise. I won't bore you with the details but as soon as requests for money were sent out 3 said they couldn't afford any of it (fine); about 5 went off-radar completely and ignored all communication from me; the week the last of the money was due 2 dropped out but got shirty when I told them the money paid for the Air B+B we'd booked would be tricky to return - basically I had to ask all that were definitely coming for more £ as the cost per head had gone up because of the drop-outs. Echoing what Sleepybedhead said, don't get stung covering to accommodation costs for potential drop-outs; or have to start the hen weekend like I did: "can I have an extra £25 from everyone to as the house is now split between 12 not 14..."

I hnrtft i am afraid but 8 pages in only one person has said what i though..A FUCKING SCOTTISH CASTLE!! I cannot believe anyone but the Kardashians does this. What a enormous waste of money. I am sure she is a lovely girl, kind etc etc, but really? It seems wrong that in a time when people are really struggling to survive, and being frozen to death in their own homes, that you should be expected to come up with a scenario of such excessive proportions. I note that 3 of you are doing all the cooking...that will be fun..when the others are off painting their nails and having a spa.

To answer your question, i would pay it but i would NEVER expect my friends or family to pay it.

little Castles are ten a penny in Scotland. We’re not talking about renting Balmoral here.

Oh, 10 a penny? Then it's even worse as it's not even that special!! World's gone mental.

I could afford it but would rather break a leg than attend. There is no way I'd spend that to trek to Scotland for two nights in a freezing castle with a load of people I don't know, probably having to share a room, and do lots of unspecified 'activities'. My hen night was a meal out followed by clubbing, it was great! No spa days or inflatable willies required!

Do you offer a discount version for, say, a tenner?

I've just read you will be doing your own cooking.

I don't know where the castle is, but unless it has been refurbished to modern apartment style dwelling within it will not be comfortable.

I think hen parties today are truly ghastly but what do I know?

My daughter is being asked to cough up £300 for a weekend away at one and it doesn’t cover all the food and drink or transport to one of the events. I am pretty sure some of the guests cannot afford this price and will not pay up easily so it will be a nightmare for the organisers.

The same daughter is organising a hen weekend for a friend and has managed to make it £190 per person to cover accommodation and all drinks, food and events though not the travel cost to the venue.

On top of the swingeing cost of the wedding these amounts seem excessive ( and vulgar) to me but I might well be a bit of a killjoy, I realise.

What is wrong with an evening out with best friends? Apart from anything else the money aspect is almost certain to upset or annoy some people before the big event which is the last thing anyone would want.

That is a crazy amount of money, I know that hen nights have turned into whole weekend affairs. You need to think of those who can't afford it and would feel like they're missing out, depending on time scale, how long people have got to pay you. Say that much in a month is a lot different to that much over several months where people can pay in instalments.

Check with the bride and what they think. Also maybe the parents too as the parents of the bride / groom now go to these events.

I would suspect that several people won't come so the price will go up - that will be your problem. I would pay £240 for a close friend IF I had plenty of notice but would not be happy if it went up last minute

I wouldn’t want to spend that much tbh, even if I could afford it. The bride is very lucky to have you, I think- planning everything and also doing the cooking. I love cooking (also my job) but I really really wouldn’t want to cook for 18 (even if help from 2 others) on a weekend away when I was hoping to enjoying y myself too. It’s not just cooking - it’s planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, serving, clearing, washing up etc and all in a place where you don’t know what cooking utensils, pots and pans are available (and you need lots for 18). You also perhaps don’t know if there are dietary requirements - veggie, intolerant, allergic, vegan etc (seems everyone is intolerant of something or on a diet these days !) . I would think VERY carefully about committing to doing the catering. You sound lovely and I hope whatever you all decide to do goes well and that you ALL have fun ! 🍀

*to enjoy

The recent spate of hen extravaganzas is the world gone mad....night out , booze and strippers used to suffuce! not v classy but that's the point!

Personally I'd say to the bride, it's going to be x much for 18 people. That's a really good deal as it includes all food etc, but it is a lot of money and I'm worried people will feel pressured to come. The price will escalate if not everyone comes. Shall we offer it in conjunction with a cheaper option? A few of us could do the spa on our own if you want.

I would absolutely go on this hen do if they were a group of good friends, if not I’d be grateful for the invite but decline.

My mum had no hen do as people “didn’t have a lot of money in those days”. You had the wedding and any additional celebration was an added extravagance - including a local night out.

She’s never once wrung her hands at any of the day/night-only or weekend hen dos I’ve been on. To be fair they were all budgeted within an inch but I’m sure other people would describe them as either extravagant or cheap.

Haven’t RTFT but I’d 100% pay that for a close friend.

I feel really sorry for people who have to arrange hen do’s it’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. You are never going to please everyone

Is it just me who thinks it's the height of entitlement to suggest that people SAVE to afford hen dos? I mean, wtf?

I save for houses, cars, holidays, furniture, my future children... the idea of setting aside a chunk of my salary every month for a hen do is obscene. I socialise out of the money left over from savings and expenses each month.

Budget, activities, accommodation has zero relation to enjoyability of these things. The people I would have fun with would do so for a fiver each, the people who are stressy nightmares are whether you pay £5 or £500.

I went to two dos a fortnight apart. Same city, same 'shared cottage' type accommodation, same Friday in, Saturday out plan, same games. Different groups of friends, different spends. The £300 first one left me and three other people in tears. The £150 second one was one of the best I've been on.

Haven’t RTFT but I’d 100% pay that for a close friend.

Yeah, but all 18 hens are not going to be close friends of the bride.

I can't believe people even have 18 people they'd want on a hen night. When did these things get so huge? Who are these people? Everyone I know had maybe 6 or 7 people there.

Yes, the "best friend" tag is used rather loosely, I think. RentaMob