To ask for £240 for hen party?

[Ihatemyclients]

Timely thread since there was another about hen party costs earlier!

I want to know - is this unreasonable for 2 nights' accommodation in a Scottish castle, all food, all decor / games / activities, and about 1.5 bottles of prosecco per person? So basically everything except additional alcohol the hens may want to bring.

I wanted it to cost a lot less than this but this is the cheapest I've managed to get it and still accommodate the bride's wishes. The main cost is the accommodation as options were limited for the number of people coming (she has a huge number of friends apparently!). I could make some savings by getting rid of the prosecco but it only knocks a couple of pounds off of the end bill (because I'm getting it dead cheap from a friend who is a wine merchant). On everything else I've gone as low as I think I reasonably can.

I just feel bad because I've resented being asked to pay through the nose for hen parties before. What do you think? Is it a totally unreasonable amount?

Set up a group what’s ap and put forward suggestions for a max budget for all invitees .... get feed back first before worrying about who can or can’t afford it..
Then you know how many will come and then you can book the size of accommodation based on replies
Eg : hi everyone please let me know what budget you are happy with from following options a) 100 - 150 b) 150- 200 and c) 200- 250

I have an option in mind for c) @ £220/240 for two nights in a lovely castle includes food etc

Please text me privately if you feel more comfortable letting me know your max budget as we would love to see all of you ...

Takes the pressure off you and you can go back to your friend with facts .. such as only 10 can make it if we do c but all can come if we go for b... good luck

I wouldn't pay that. Not because I can't, but because I think it's such a piss take.

10 years ago I wouldn't have blinked an eye - I've been on hen party's abroad and paid double that! Now that I am married, got kids and a mortgage I think it's too much to ask and I don't think I would pay it. I didn't have a hen party and had a small wedding because we just count justify the costs when we have lots more important things to pay for.

I think Swanone has summed it up. If you don't have responsibilities (eg. Children) and can afford it, then it’s fine. However, if you have a family, have a lower income etc, then it’s not fine. It depends on your target hen party.

Personally, I feel,slightly intimidated to,spend a whole weekend with people I don’t know, although I appreciate that that’s not cost related.

The bride has to decide whether she wants as many of her friends at her hen do as possible or whether she wants to end up it just being her and her bridesmaids sitting in a lovely Scottish castle because everyone has been priced out.

Even if I could find the £240 for the do, I'd be thinking by the time I include and travel costs to the hen do, plus travel and accommodation and a present for the wedding you're looking at £600–700: too much.

I'd be mortified to ask friends to spend that on my hen do.

Love the pp who 'Wouldn't pay that to stay in Scotland'.
When's the next referendum?

Op. You and anyone else who would expect someone to pay that for a poxy hen “do” has got to be on crack.

No. Massively NO!

TheScottishPlay but they are coming from London. France is closer, cheaper and also has castles. And much cheaper wine.

@SomewhereontheM6 only 2 coming from London

Come on OP, update us- what has
The bride said????

My hen night was:

drinks after work with a random selection of friends
on for a pizza because someone had 2 4 1 vouchers
more wine with pizza
me sick in loo after having too much wine
bag of chips on way home as was hungry, having lost the pizza.

Probably about £25 per head.

I didn’t have a hen do. But then, I’m quite old and they weren’t a thing then. And was pregnant so couldn’t drink! Do not understand this ‘modern’ thing to chuck an absolute fortune at the wedding and lead-up. It’s just the start of the marriage. Of course, it needs to be celebrated but I think less is more.

It's too much money.

My hen night was drinks, karaoke, bowling and some food. We were done by about 11 and me and a few friends stayed in a Travelodge near the last place we went. Then had breakfast at the Wollesley the next morning (a surprise from my hens). It was an amazing night and I'm pretty sure it cost all of us about £60, tops.

To put it in persective for a Hen do in Feb I paid £225 for 3 nights in Amsterdam inclusive of flights, accommodation and cocktail making, dinner and a show, Museums and exhibitions and usual sight seeing stuff. For a couple of days in Scotland knowing what else I could get for the money I personally think it’s a big price to pay

no sorry wouldnt pay that

my dsis had a hen night overnight aswell cot us about 80 with food i wouldnt pay more than that

I don't go to hen dos (as a man, and I self-identify as a man too!), but agree with the person who said it was excessive and whatever happened to it being just a hen night.

Though it is mild compared to a work colleague who went to a hen weekend in a sunny holiday resort abroad where each of the party were asked to have matching bikinis!

I have to say I’m amazed at these amazing holidays abroad that people seem to be able to secure for £250 !

My dd has just been invited to a hen do. It's in a month's time,
7 days in Spain at a cost of £1000.

The actual hen do has been organised since last September (she knows this through facebook) but she and another two more peripheral friends of the bride were only received this morning.
It appears to me that maybe some of the original hens are dropping out at the last minute.

As for the OP, I could probably afford to go but wouldn't as I can think of better things I could do with it. The £240 is just per person.
Both dh 'and' myself could have a decent weekend away for £240.

I’m going to a similar hen do which is £160 for accommodation alone. I have to travel up from London and there will be food and drink on top of that.
For all those suggesting just a night out, that might not be possible when your friends are dotted about the country. So two nights might make more sense.
I don’t get out much so I don’t mind paying out loads when I do. I know it will be a good crowd and it’s a close friend so for me it will be worth it.

If it is too much really depends on people’s incomes. Unless you know everyone’s circumstances it is likely that that will be an issue for at least a couple of people so I think it is inevitable that costs will rise as people won’t come. If you go ahead do get people to pay up front for that part before being personally liable for the accommodation cost!

Wow I definitely could not justify spending that amount on a hen do now I have two boys. I don’t think I’ve spent that much on myself for a long time. As fun as it may sound could thing of better things to spend it on 🙈

for what you’re getting some might think it’s reasonable. Personally I wouldn’t want to pay that. i think where you’ll struggle too is that you’ll say it’s £240, maybe have a few that day yes they’ll come & some say no. Then you’d have to go back to the ones who said yes & say some have dropped out & it’s now £300 each (for example) then some might say no & so on. People may not really know the true cost til they’re there- or everyone has paid/not paid & it keeps getting steeper.
Weddings can cost a lot for the guests too.. the ones travelling from London are they having to do that again for the wedding? I have a friend who got married in London (she lives there so fair enough) but her hen weekend was 2 weekends before & I couldn’t have paid 2 lots of train & hotels xx

I simply would not go

I wouldn’t want to pay that.

Way too much on top of the cost of going to the actual wedding.

I don’t get why people insist on these big hen party holidays now. What’s wrong with just a simple night out? It’s just so showy!!

Ah Somewhere. 'France also has castles'. You're cheering me up no end this evening. Loving your posts.