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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Aibu to think he’ll struggle coming back from this (Ant)

999 replies

Fruitbat1980 · 18/03/2018 23:17

What a stupid boy. Worth 60 million and doesn’t get a taxi. I just don’t know how he’ll come back from this latest fiasco (drink drive car crash hits 3 year old).

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CuboidalSlipshoddy · 20/03/2018 10:28

it doesn't feel right to blame someone for doing something ill advised in those circumstances

So what else do you think is OK for people to do if they're drinking too much, because (they say) of a mysterious mental illness which allows them to nonetheless present a live TV programme? Assault? Sexual Assault? Murder?

"She got a bit mouthy with me and I'd had a few so I hit her", said every domestic violence perpetrator, ever. It's not OK. It's like the current fashion for people to blame their crimes on their ASD: aside from the insult to the 99.999999% of non-NT people who don't blow up underground trains, it also opens up the cesspit of people claiming they have no moral agency for incredibly vague reasons.

The bloke knew he'd been drinking. He decided to take a chance on driving. He was also, by all accounts, driving like an arsehole as well. That's on him: he was not, clearly, so drunk that he couldn't decide whether to drive or not, and even if he was, getting drunk to that extent is not something that happens autonomously, like respiration. If he genuinely is so ill he cannot safely be in society without acting dangerously with no knowledge of what he is doing, he needs to be sectioned. Otherwise, it's on him.

flufffysockks · 20/03/2018 10:48

Drink driving can not and should not be condoned in any circumstances. It's selfish, and bloody dangerous, putting innocent lives at risk is not acceptable in any way. Mental health problems or not. He should be punished for that accordingly by law, whether than be prison, fine, loss of license, awareness course, all of the above, whatever.

That part of it aside, I do like Ant and Dec for their entertainment value. I think they are very good at their jobs and are likeable, funny people. I hope it isn't the beginning of the end for them. Dec has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve to have his career flushed away. After this long it just wouldn't work with either of them being individual presenters. Hopefully after some more time to address his problems, Ant will bounce back. Other celebrities have done similar and far far worse than he has, and managed to continue their career just as any none famous person will have been able to.

I think Ant should be cut some slack (drink driving aside).
Have a think how much he's been through. If he was posting on Mumsnet as an anonymous person about his relationship and surgery issues I bet most people would be filled with sympathy.

Botched knee surgery

Immense pain due to knee

Reliant on very strong painkillers to get by that are known to be addictive

Addiction to said painkillers

Drinking more because of above problems

Marriage problems

Struggling to conceive

Going to rehab

Thrown straight back into high pressure live tv role

Filming for other shows

Knowing that the nation is watching his every move on tv

Separation from long term wife

Having everything reported on constantly

He's not someone who is pictured pissed falling out of clubs and always over sharing about his personal life. He stays out of the way when he's not doing his job from what I can tell.

No amount of money or privileged life style can help someone who is struggling with their mental health. That's got nothing to do with it, plenty have made snarky remarks about him being able to retire and not struggle for money. Maybe he values his career and would rather get back to doing that than just sit around on a pot of money.

Good luck to him, I hope he has had a big enough shock to knock some sense into him that he needs to sort himself out for his own good and everyone else around him.

MissEliza · 20/03/2018 10:54

I didn't have much of an opinion about Ant McParlin really. However before the school run, we were watching GMB about Ant and on the way to school, my dd kept saying how she hoped he'd be back soon, he was the funniest, BGT won't be the same without him and Dec will be rubbish on his own. I thought what a shame that someone who brings so much happiness is so sad himself.
I remember going to the doctors for sleeping tablets because I was under so much stress at work. TBH I was drinking far too much to cope. She gave me a lovely talk about getting joy from going for a walk or having coffee with good friends and work wasn't everything. She really struck a chord with me. I feel Ant is under so much pressure to 'perform' he's not been allowed to really stop and find some joy in life IFSWIM.

IanRushesInadequateFlushes · 20/03/2018 10:57

The worst newspaper article I have seen so far screams: "ant's ex wife breaks her silence on crash!!!"

The story says that the poor woman said, "I'm not interested" through the intercom of her house where they were hounding her.

Desperate reporting much?Angry

Travelharder · 20/03/2018 10:59

I know someone that has such severe mental health problems that they lose all reasoning in certain circumstances, but they can fool a lot of people around them at times, making it look like everything is perfect. But anyway:

of a mysterious mental illness which allows them to nonetheless present a live TV programme?

is a very fair point

BishopBrennansArse · 20/03/2018 11:03

Just to mention that severe my issues are in themselves sufficient to sometimes have to relinquish your licence.

He had other options other than driving. If he was unable to make a safe choice then maybe he shouldn't have had his licence because of that.

MissEliza · 20/03/2018 11:05

Regarding the family who were involved, they will be being hounded mercilessly by journalists. I don't know if anyone has experienced this but they will go to any lengths when it's a high profile case. I don't envy them.

BishopBrennansArse · 20/03/2018 11:05

my mh
Bloody autocorrect

BishopBrennansArse · 20/03/2018 11:07

Very true, MissEliza. And if they don't want to talk journos will be hounding their staff at the restaurant, their friends.... anything for a quote. Someone will take the bait, too.

demirose87 · 20/03/2018 11:09

He needs to stay off the tv until he is fully recovered, if he ever is. He's not suitable to be on family shows putting on a front when everyone knows about his personal problems. I think we will find he is replaceable when it comes to finding presenters for the shows he normally does.

Shimshiminysheroo · 20/03/2018 11:11

Sorry not read the whole thread, but his mum was with him, what was she thinking of?

MissEliza · 20/03/2018 11:22

I remember a colleague of my dad's was involved in a 'sex scandal'! We were getting bugged by journalists at home. Mind you, as a teenager that didn't bug me as much as the thought that someone my parents' age was still having sex!

MissEliza · 20/03/2018 11:25

On a darker note my dm's uncle was a well known figure (trying not to be too identifying) who was killed in a car crash in the 60s. Dm said they had journalists banging on the door at all hours and it was awful. It adds
to what is already a very stressful situation.

SoupDragon · 20/03/2018 11:27

...because (they say) of a mysterious mental illness which allows them to nonetheless present a live TV programme?

Why do you think mental illness prevents you from putting on a front to the outside world?

SoupDragon · 20/03/2018 11:30

I don’t have any sympathy for the drunk driving but I do have sympathy for the reasons that lead him there. Those reasons aren’t an excuse of course.

QuiQuaiQuod · 20/03/2018 11:35

Seriously this poor guy...who cares how much money he has..it quite clearly can't buy him a pain free exsistance or happiness.
They've lived thier lives out in public since they were children and yes I'm very aware they have made lots of money ...but they have also made lots of sacrifices.
Imagine if you had to play out all your mental health and strength problems to millions of other people!!!!
I hope he gets the opportunity to find himself again.

I felt so bad for him when I saw the news footage.

Hope he gets better.

Rudgie47 · 20/03/2018 12:01

He should be taken off the T.V for good, he could have killed that little girl and her Mum. No wonder the Mum tried to knock 7 bells out of him. Hes very selfish.
If he can come back why cant Michael Barrymore? He had drug and alcohol problems and nothing was proved about him and the guy that drowned.

Creambun2 · 20/03/2018 12:22

Why are people excusing drunk driving as he is famous and has "problems". Grow up. Such a laugh if he killed someone hey.

lazyarse123 · 20/03/2018 15:26

Throw the book at him. No excuses. I know a family who lost a child due to drink driving. Devastating. Plenty of people have mental health problems. I live and work with chronic pain but I would not dream of drink driving.

expatinscotland · 20/03/2018 16:13

Two little boys, brothers, killed by a drunk driver last month, but hey, poor guy who hit them, he probably had lots of problems and issues and is in pain.

drinkdrivingdeaths

bastardkitty · 20/03/2018 16:18

It's sickening expat. He made the same choice as the person who killed those boys and people are fawning all over him.

Butterymuffin · 20/03/2018 16:25

There are indeed problems in life that money can't fix. But transport is one it can. He could very easily have taken taxis places or employed a driver. It was his choice, freely made, that led to this happening.

JaneyEJones · 20/03/2018 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelenaDove · 20/03/2018 18:04

I was given tramadol for gallstones 15/16 years ago It did absolutely nothing for the pain and i was prescribed morphine injections (administered by the out of hours GP in my home) and then morphine tablets which melted under the tongue It actually made me very nauseous but it was a choice of this or excrutiating pain. I didnt get addicted though I remember saying to DH i couldnt understand how anyone could as they just made me feel really sick.

Dozer · 20/03/2018 18:06

Blind Gossip website alleges he has a cocaine addiction.