The thing is, there is nothing you can do about a husband who is not particuarly interested in being your friend. You can't make that happen. It's extremely sad -for him, mainly- that his idea of what constitutes fun, happiness, excitement all revolve around being a 'single' person at other 'group' events. He can't find fulfilment in family life, even his own children - pretty sad.
You can't change that part. But you can and should draw a line and say, no, you aren't getting away with this. You don't get to make all the committments, have a family... then take yourself off, give your energy and time and personality to other stuff which is just you and just for you - but still get to tick all the boxes - wife, home, family - and have someone who you can't even respect enough to share the shitwork with prepared to carry you, to work to create all the home comforts only to watch you swan in to enjoy them and give nothing back.
I've known two families where the bloke fitted that description - That sounds more like a bloke who is nice and friendly to the children he happens to live with. One is now divorced, and his fifties reeeeally aren't panning out the way he thought they would when he was merrily falling into the role of 'additional teenager with more time for his bike than his wife' ten years ago. The other has just had a bit of a wake-up call when one of his children was sadly seriously ill, and was massively stressed and unhappy at the thought of the parents taking turns to be at the bedside (both work). Quote 'But Dad doesn't know me! He can't look after me' - her mum ended up taking over while she was working as the child (tween) simply didn't want Dad when the chips were down. He didn't like it one bit. But, chickens - roost. Brought it on himself entirely.
The thing is, you are only going to get unhappier, and there comes a point where it is better to walk alone than be badly accompanied. The person above who is divorced - his ex wife is blissful. Single and not planning to change it, life is harder - but she simply could not live as she was any longer.