To think its rude to pop in

[Ilovemaryberry]

Just found myself in a situation. Having a relaxing night to myself. I'm naked about to jump in the bath and listening to some music with my earphones in.
I take my earphones off to hear the door going like crazy. Dd is in bed asleep and I'm home alone so I start to panic it's an emergency. I can't find my fucking dressing gown and I'm looking for a towel. Then my mil just waltzes in dropping something off.
It's almost 10pm ffs and no warning at all.

I hate when anyone just pops by without any prior warning. I wouldn't do it to anyone else. I even call my own mother and ask if she's busy even though she wouldn't bother if I did pop round. I just find it totally intrusive.
I am now on edge. Ffs.

I had door unlocked for dh as he's due home soon. But I will be locking it from now on. Although that doesn't make a difference because the lights are on and she knows I'm home.

A good deed Bertrand, I'm sure your neighbour will appreciate it.

BackforGood - that was really overstepping the boundaries.........

And you were only doing it to make yourself feel good........

Actually, it was a passive aggressive way of showing off about your well stocked larder and your new 4x4.....

MIL had a key to our house. When we were on holidays she let herself in, had a cuppa and food and let the dirty dishes. But worst time was my aunt died leaving behind kids aged 7,4 &1. During this time the house was a tip as i was helping care for kids etc and MIL brought her 2 sis round and give them a house tour!!

Why the hell would you give your MIL a key if you didn't want her in the house?

GreatDuck I don't think she gave her MiL a key, more that the door was unlocked already and MiL just made her way in after a bit of a faff.

Sorry that was to Doze not the OP, Vladimir.

Ah, I thought it was for OP. Crack on. Methinks I need to leave this thread before I implode

My MIL once appeared in the lounge. I was feeding baby DD and nearly dropped her. I had no idea that MIL, or anyone for that matter, had a spare key to the rented flat we were in temporarily.

I can’t remember but I think I less than welcoming and she didn’t do it again at that flat. I always left the key in the lock, turned halfway, after that.

Basically, communication is key. Don’t pop in on someone unless you know they are alright with poppers-in. If you aren’t sure, give them a ring/email/pm and ask if it is OK for you to pop round.

And if you are considering popping round to mine, great!! I can’t promise I will have tidied or vacuumed, but I will happily put the kettle on or make proper coffee, and sit and talk for hours.

My adult Dc's all have keys to our "family home" and I don't mind them using them, However it irks me somewhat when DS1 lets himself in when we are at home without ringing the bell first to see if we are at home!
Its all about boundries

As this thread shows, there are many people who because THEY would be comfortable with it, think that EVERYONE should be comfortable with it.

This must be the very definition of a SELFish person. They have no concept, or don't care, that other people are different from them. That some people need to prepare physically or mentally for visitors. That some people dislike spontaneity. That some people don't like THEM so don't want them walking in their home like a trespasser.

This isn't odd or mean or rude behaviour on the part of the homeowner. It is crass, weird and lacking of social skills and empathy of the person walking in.

t just don't answer the door if I’m not expecting anyone
Blimey, what a strange attitude.

If I did that I wouldn't have found out some important information by the police when they called round, I wasn't expecting them, nor was I was I expecting my neighbour who is 83 and lives by herself. However she had a distressing time and needed some help. Perhaps I should have kept the door shut.
I never expect the meters to be read. I'll keep the door shut on them too. The list goes on!

God MN is weird st times. Some people seem to treat everything as a hostile act against them.

frasier A lot of MNers seem to be totally incapable of understanding that other people live differently to the way they do. The outrage I’ve seen on other threads when someone mentions how they do xyz is unbelievable.

What SDTG said.

So many people on MN seem to struggle with the fact that it is OK for some people to be different from them / do things differently from them / like different things / dislike different things.

I also think many posters are thinking of different things when they talk about people 'popping in'. for me, it involves a person who happens to be in the area ringing my doorbell and asking if I've got time for a cuppa. That is s very different thing from someone walking in. that said, they wouldn't be able to walk in as I have always had front doors that are locked when shut. I find it really odd that people who don't like people being in their house then leave their front doors unlocked.