To be really annoyed and disappointed with Dh views on this

[fleec]

Dh just said to me that the gender pay gap doesn't really exist. He said that women choose lower paid jobs because it suits them . Also that women choose to slow down their careers because of children and that women have less assertive personalities meaning that they are generally suited to less senior roles.

I am fuming with him. I cannot believe that he thinks this . AIBU to think that we are all different and that you can't generalise in this way! I am not one who generally holds very strong feminist views but this has really got to me.

Well this is your opportunity to show him that women REALLY don't have less assertive personalities! Where the fuck has he come up with that ridiculous notion from?

He is an idiot

Yes - he's a complete twat. Exercise your assertive personality by telling him exactly what you think about his stupid comments.

Ask him if he knows any man who would choose pregnancy and childbirth and being the primary care giver for human babies, and all the repercussions of that which can take a woman out of the workplace for a year or so PER CHILD. It’s a choice, is it? Does the man not understand basic biology?

Paraphrasing Jordan Peterson much OP?

Yes that is what has 'inspired' him

Yeah? Ask him why the Queen in the series "the Crown" got paid less than the Duke of Edinburgh. .
The Queen ffs.
Oh, and tell him that men have children too. In case he hasn't noticed.

What @Plumsofwrath said.

FFS, has he not yet realised that whether they like it or not, women are the only ones with wombs. Thus, if they want a family, they have zero choice in the matter of being pregnant, giving birth etc.

I'm typing this with an 8-week old sleeping on me. Throughout my pregnancy with him (ans his brother), I had hyperemesis. Until the very end. Lowest points of my life, seriously. I love my DC enormously, but what I went through physically & mentally, not to mention the damage done to my career, I in no way chose.

It is so disappointing that there are men out there with attitudes like this. And as for assertiveness; a couple of years back before DC, I was head-hunted for an international role (on other side of world). I went out there, passed all their assessments and they offered it me. Only when the contract came through, it was 20k less per year than advertised.

I queried it and was told by a senior male that what they were offering was very generous for a young woman like me (I was early 30s) and I shouldn't be questioning it!! The fucking cheek! When I pushed for an explanation, they withdrew the offer. Cunts. That's how 'being assertive' is received when you're a woman. Who'd take the risk, eh?

Do you have children? Immediately hand over all childcare related problems to him. School phone for ill child? Sorry you’ll have to contact husband. School holiday cover difficult? Set your alarm and leave before him.

Yeah? Ask him why the Queen in the series "the Crown" got paid less than the Duke of Edinburgh. .
The Queen ffs

Well Matt Smith was a hugely well known actor to draw people in to watch it when Clare Foy was relatively unknown? Why would you pay someone more who has had fewer roles?

Take your point Marmalade but I hope she got at least as much as him for the second series. She was absolutely brilliant.

So how does he account for the numerous organisations that have women in senior roles and men in junior roles?

Clare Foy was in Wolf Hall as Anne Bolyen. It was a big ticket miniseries. She's hardly unknown!

Why would you pay someone more who has had fewer roles?

Because you’re paying them for the role they’re currently playing, obviously! Not what they did for other employers! If someone is doing lead character, more scenes, more lines, more rehearsals, more time in make up and wardrobe, then of course their pay packet should be bigger.

He's a twat

..but how did you manage to get as far as marrying him?! Has he changed his mind on this type of thing recently? Did values/sexism/etc not come up in the early days of dating?

Just read the first paragraph to DH and his response was "His argument is that it doesn't exist and then gives multiple reasons for why it exists? Nob "

The pay gap still existed in the second series, but Netflix have confirmed that it won't happen again, so whoever plays the Duke of Edinburgh will not be payed more than Olivia Coleman for the next two series.

He might be right or at the very least somewhat right. Have you considered that? Perhaps you can just agree to disagree.

Ugh. I’d be seriously reconsidering my relationship. That’s fucking terrible that he’s admitted he thinks like that.

He's mostly right. And yes, I am a feminist. I just like facts.

Whether he is paraphrasing Jordan Peterson or not, the facts are irrefutable. There is a pay gap, but there are very valid reasons for it. There is a tonne of research on the reasons why. It's a pay gap, not a gender pay gap.

Whole other thread on gender as a definition mind you.

Some of what he has said is factually correct - a big contributing factor to the pay gap is that it is mostly women who take part time, flexible jobs and those tend to be at lower pay grades. That accounts for a difference of about 14% though. Some places have way higher gaps than that.

Re Claire Foy - it has nothing to do with gender. She was paid less because she carried less audience weight - people will tune in to watch Matt Smith in something, so that adds value. It’s really not as simplistic as paying for the role she’s playing now - it’s not paid per word! Hiring an actor is buying into their ability to pull in a crowd and previous reputation is a huge aspect of that. That’s why they can say the new male lead will be paid the same as Olivia Colman - she’s Olivia Colman. Multi-award winning, box office draw.

Sorry - I meant to say, some of what he has said is factually corrrct but he’s still being a knob!

Watch White Heat Claire Foy was brilliant in that (as part of an ensemble cast) and The Night Watch. People in general watch too much reality tv instead of decent dramas which could be why some have never heard of her.

OP your DHs comments are twattish For balance ask him what he thinks of childfree by choice women. Blokes who come out with things like this usually are also mean about women who sidestep motherhood.

Oh Dear, He's not a Guardian Reader is he?
Secretly re programme all his news sources on his phone/ipad and wait a while. You could have some fun with that.

He is mostly correct.

The gender pay gap is down to choice as evidenced by it only appearing around the age when women choose to get pregnant.