To be really annoyed and disappointed with Dh views on this

[fleec]

Dh just said to me that the gender pay gap doesn't really exist. He said that women choose lower paid jobs because it suits them . Also that women choose to slow down their careers because of children and that women have less assertive personalities meaning that they are generally suited to less senior roles.

I am fuming with him. I cannot believe that he thinks this . AIBU to think that we are all different and that you can't generalise in this way! I am not one who generally holds very strong feminist views but this has really got to me.

Just my opinion @4funnels

I think women are taught to be nice; to be less assertive. I don't think it's a natural instinctual thing.

For the last 100 years women have been conditioned to be wives and mothers; not CEOs and scientists. Yes there are some exceptions; not many. How much of a choice is really made when we live in a sexist society?

Also I agree with Fenella; he's a knob

Wow

Thanks for your insight

FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin

I think what you wrote is a common assumption even if it is not backed up by fact.

Employers assume that the woman will be the one to be primary carer and career opportunities get allocated on the basis of that assumption even if the particular group of employees dont conform to that assumption.

I have seen it explicitly said. I have seen it implicitly acted upon eg the men in a department being strongly encouraged to take training/get qualified where the women receive no similar encouragement.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as the women are then the lower earners in a relationship so might as well conform to the stereotype.

Why so rude?

You know evolution and marriage and childbirth being more than 100 years old is not much of an insight to most people.

Obviously for longer than 100 years women have been conditioned to be wives and mothers.

He is mixing up different things together. The gender pay gap is about comparing salaries for 2 people with the same job, same level of responsibility, management and education level (basically how much are paid a woman and a man with the same job and background).
That there are less women accessing jobs of power/high seniority/achieving higher education is another problem and indeed (well at least when I studied that about 15 years ago) is because when women get in couple they take the blunt of it (not just pregnancy but also going to work so their partner can continue studying, taking on the household chores, etc...) so the number of women in higher education steadily drop off.

Drops off (sorry for the numerous typos).

Did you not check this stuff out before you married him? Seriously though? Perhaps he was doing that thing of trying to wind a partner up while not believing what he was saying? (Clutches at straws).

There is a lot more to it also. For example, at work, women are always assessed more negatively, even by other women. Studies of assessment reports have shown that women are assessed with much more negative words than men (i.e. "Autoritarian" for a woman vs. "Assertive" for a man). It's all part of a culture where an assertive woman is seen as bossy and an assertive man as a good leader.

Sorry, but @EatTheChocolateTeapot that’s not correct. The gender pay gap is the disparity between male and female remuneration, it’s not a like for like job role comparison and that’s a bit misleading. A man being paid more than a woman for the same role is wrong and should be challenged. A company or institution having a gender pay gap is normal as it will account for women making up the majority of the part time workforce. It’s the size of that gap that is the issue. So if, for example, the BBC has a gender pay gap of 14.6% (MADE UP EXAMPLE, NOT YHE BBC’s TRUE STATS!) then all of the women on its payroll earn an average of 14.6% less than all the men. It doesn’t mean women earn 14.6% less than men doing the same job as them.

I was married to someone with views like this. He had similar opinions on the gender pay gap and his views on maternity leave were abhorrent ( along the lines of why should society pay for women to have a holiday??!!)
The day he had this rant signalled the end of our marriage. I realised I could never have children with him and I eventually left.

Wow a lot of responses will have to reply later when I get home from work!
I honestly had no idea he had these views. I think he has been majorly influenced by Jordan Peterson videos. So it may only be a recent thing.

I think most of what your dh says is true.In any case thinking his pov must coincide with yours on any given topic is extremely controlling behaviour

What a f*cking twat your dh is. Less assertive personalities?! I think not! They may be groomed to behave differently, but women are quite capable of being assertive.

You could just as well argue that men are less suited to senior roles because they are more prone to inappropriate aggression, so shouldn't be trusted. That would be just as offensive and inappropriate a comment, would it not?

Back to Olivia Colman, shouldn’t she get more than whoever plays prince Philip? Why is it some triumph that she gets the same as the male lead when she’s more famous?

Thank you Fenella, will read more about it.

What is it that makes so many of you petrified of their being any mental differences in the sexes due to nature?

I see it all the time that the women leave work to sort out childcare if their child’s ill. I don’t want to ask why they don’t take turns at least because I’d come across as a bitch when they’re stressed enough already but I do wonder.
My dh does all ours because he’s self employed but if not I would insist on sharing.

well he has spotted some of the main causes of the gender gap so that's a start.

now he needs to move forward and think:

Why don't men choose more family friendly working practices and what impact is that having on women.
why aren't more men taking up the last 3 months of paternity leave
why are women not more assertive?
why are the types of careers women find fulfilling paid far less than equivalent men type jobs.
Does he genuinely believe that having multiple pregnancies in themselves don't impact on a career whatever choices you make about work after (doctors appointments, tiredness, being uncomfortable, complications)

Studies show that the gender pay gap exists for childless women, they are penalised for having ovaries which other women who also have them use tohave babies. So the ops dh and other posters are NOT right. Also, McKinsey have some useful analysis showing companies with women on the boards perform better than companies without. The ops dh is wrong there too.

Jesus. Please tell me your husband is relatively unsuccessful in his chosen employment field and makes no hiring or promotion decisIons? That's he's just some loser spouting off and doesn't actually get to discriminate against women in real life?

Women's work is valued lower than men's work. Carers get paid less than warehouse workers, for example- see the tesco case.

There have recently been some appalling examples of unequal pay- Carey the BBc journalist, and the leader of the journalist union getting 12% less than her deputy when she should have been getting 12% more.

Society makes it hard for both parents to share work and home responsibilities, women tend to get pushed into it no matter how hard they try to avoid it.

He's mostly right. And yes, I am a feminist. I just like facts.

^I agree too