To find the term 'child free' annoying?

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

If you were a classic example of a parent, then you would be perfectly validating the choice of the child-free, to be honest.

I am childless because involuntary childlessness was not my choice. I desperately want children, and my life feels deeply less for not having been able to have the family we dreamed of

Child free is to me an active choice not to have children

Involuntary childlessness is not

If I say 'I don't have kids' then that opens up the inevitable comments and how lucky I am not to have kids (no I'm not, it's a source of immense sadness and grief) or about being a career woman (no I didn't choose career over family, I didn't have a choice)

If someone asks if I have children, I respond with 'no, sadly not', or sometimes 'no, unfortunately we can't have children', in the hope of fending off the types of comments above

People do decide they are allergic to things. Christ knows why.

Irritates the hell out of people with actual allergies and intolerances that they'd rather not be constrained by.

You know you wouldn’t have stuffstuffeverywhere if you were child free, don’t you OP. Looks at 43000 dirty dishes on the sink and feels bitter at not being child free. Dirty wee gits. 😠

You sound rather angry for no good reason.

There are so many bad things in this world, I have no idea why someone would want to rant at people with dietary requirements and those without children ( through choice or circumstance ).

But YOU compared them to allergens! You came on and posted you hated the term because it reminded you of people who are gluten free etc, no one else came on and said ‘I am child free because I’m allergic to children.’

No, just the wanky, made-up, smug terminology!

I prefer dogs. 🐕 🐶 So much easier to train.

Ha, that's what I get for posting without refreshing a tab - repeating what dozens of others have already said.

Anyway, one good response I read in response to the head-tilting "why don't you have children" is a cheerful, smiley "I dunno, just lucky I guess!"

You seem to have issues around other people making different life choices from yourself. You seem to take their difference as a personal criticism instead of just being able to see it as an example of the variety of life. Why is that?

Putting the word YOU in capital letters does not make your lack of a point more valid.

Not to eat of course, cause I’m a lactose intolerant child intolerant vegan.

Anyway, one good response I read in response to the head-tilting "why don't you have children" is a cheerful, smiley "I dunno, just lucky I guess!"

Love that!

Not the choices, just the term.

Do you understand the difference between 'I chose not to have kids' (child free) and 'I wanted kids but can't have them' (involuntarily childless)? Both are 'I don't have kids'. But very different situations.

I find the term "child free" tends to be said smugly in a patronising way. As if they see people with children as somehow being lumbered with them.

How is the point that it was you that made the comparison first not a point?
No one else compared children to allergens, you did that, and then complained that people are comparing children to allergens.

What irritates me about the term is that to me it sounds like it implies a judgement that parents are inferior. You'd never say you are "free" from something that you consider a good thing.

I do appreciate that from the perspective of those who have adopted the term, it probably just feels like turning the tables, but it does not make the implied disparagement of my choices any less hurtful (not the least since - I hope - I don't condescend to those who don't have children). I just wish there were a better term that does not imply that either position is inherently inferior.

Bananafish

Thank you, you have summed up the difference perfectly.

I wonder if the OP can calm down enough to read your comment and actually think about and understand it?

As if they see people with children as somehow being lumbered with them Lets face it, I can’t get the 27yr old to move out, so I can relate to that.

I think it’s a great term. I have two DC and lost my freedom when I had them, along with my patience, my size 8 jeans, my social life, my sanity and the prospect of a decent night’s sleep in ten years.

Yes I have gained things, but I would definitely say a person without children was free... to do whatever they like.

However, if it is in fact the person who is a smug wanker type I can see the annoyance, but you shouldn’t get confused between the symptom and the cause of the problem you have with this comment.

@happyvalley74

That is how some people see those with children though.

Boy oh boy, OP. Where do you think words come from, the magical Word Tree? This may come as a shock to you but all words are/were, in fact, made up at some point. As you were.

You also seem to not really know what it is you are ranting about. You're creating straw men, or fallacious arguments, and attempting to justify them down whilst doing your best to offend an entire demographic. You just sound confused, to me. Not angry or bitter but genuinely confused.