To find the term 'child free' annoying?

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

I always think of ''child free'' as someone who has children but has managed to get a rare weekend away without them.

People ask too many questions

Why don't you have kids?
Why do you have so many kids?
Why do you only have one kid?
Aren't you a bit old to be having a baby?
Aren't you a bit young to be having a baby?

Shag off, you nosey buggers.

Do long-time singles refer to themselves as spouse free? Once you start thinking about it it is a bit weird to define yourself by what you DON'T have, but I expect it's used in contexts where someone's asking whether they have kids or not.

I'd say it's up to the person who hasn't children to express it in the way they want. Childless suggests a deficit, child free suggests a benefit.

Just because I'm gluten free doesn't mean that I think everyone should be and gluten is evil, just that as a coeliac it's not a good choice for me.

Childfree is exactly the same, it's not implying that everyone should be childfree just that for some people for whatever reasons choose not to have children.

Basically, the term implies that people who do have kids are not free and are somehow encumbered

Well they aren't free, that's patently the case. They are 'encumbered' by their children

Exactly this, how can anyone deny that?!

Actually op for me children would
be an encumbrance. I like to travel, being child free means I have the money and time
to able to do this at the drop of a hat. I like unplanned nights out with friends, I’ve just bought a ticket to go to a lecture tonight, I’m able to do that without worrying about babysitters etc. That’s what’s right for me, it’s not right for my lovely friends for
whom having children was important. My life choices are no more or less important than theirs.

As for me choosing to say I am childfree rather than ‘I chose not to have children’, why the fuck should I explain my life to
you?

Odd thing to get so worked up over

Alwayslumpyporridge I was going to write the exact comment as you! I've had to explain myself for far to long .Apparently labour hurts like a bitch doesn't cut it 😁

I suspect you don't like it because part of you feels it invalidates your own life choices. And from the look of your posts on this thread you are too small minded to be able to handle that.

Talith I see your point, but I think a better comparison would be if we didn't have the term "single." Imagine people were always asking you if you were "spouseless" or "husbandless." You might prefer the term "spousefree" then!

It's obnoxious for anyone to get intrusive about that sort of thing, but people do so I can see why the term "childfree" could come in handy.

As someone who is "with child" I'm finding this thread hilarious.. What a ridiculous non issue, some people really need chill the feck out

It probably depends on who you know. I’ve met a bunch of smug parents, but they were smug about their particular parenting, rather than about having children itself. However, I know loads of people who are smug about not having kids, who delight in telling you how much they dislike children as soon as they find out you have them.

I’ve never eaten meat and they’re a bit like the people who tell me they love bacon all the time. There’s one of these everywhere, way more than child free, or child, er, full smug types!

Why would saying 'we're child-free' make someone smug?

It sounds like you are a little jealous of child-free adults, OP?

I think the term 'child free' sounds much better than 'childless'. The word 'childless' sounds as if you have been deprived of something,whereas 'child free' sounds like a choice.

Bust it sounds like your smugometer is way way oversensitive and you are reading far too much into normal and reasonable comments.

@Talith isn't that where the term "footloose and fancy-free" comes from?

I do get the impression that some childfree people (not all, so don't jump at me if this isn't true of you) not only choose not to have children but delight in telling you how much they hate 'the little brats'. Are they forgetting that they were once 'little brats' themselves??

not only chose to have children

How very dare we!

Nobody describes themselves as free if something positive.

Of course they do - "Mortgage Free", "Cancer Free", "STI Free" for starters.

And, as I plan to hide this thread & not engage with you anymore, "Twat Free"

If someone said child free I'd think they had kids but they were being babysat by someone never heard anyone without children use the term child free.

Lizzie "I do get the impression that some childfree people (not all, so don't jump at me if this isn't true of you) not only choose not to have children but delight in telling you how much they hate 'the little brats'. Are they forgetting that they were once 'little brats' themselves??"

I have never understood this. Yes, I was a child once. But a) that's not a decision I made and b)why would the term "childfree" mean I have forgotten I was a child?

I will say I love being childfree, yes. And I think there is a massive issue now with the fact that children are permitted everywhere. Of course I play with my friends' kids etc but the fact that there's no childfree spaces to go for anything ever does really bug me.

so if it sometimes seems I say "yes, I am childfree" - I am happy, very happy, with this. But I'm not having a go at anyone who chooses to have them - apart from silly numbers because yes i do have a big thing about overpopulation.

but if an edge of resentment creeps in, it's because London feels like a gigantic pedestrianised creche at the moment. I think it's one thing when you're okay to stand up in a noisy crowded bar but I would like a nice bar or coffee shop where I can sit down, during the day, and hear myself think without people bringing children in.

we even had someone ask about taking her baby to the cinema the other day. It's bizarre.

but looking at all this, and the fact that society often views childfree women as being weird and horrible, sometimes when a stranger says "do you have children?" it's inevitable that the reply "no, I'm childfree" comes with a happy smile or a tinge of "thank goodness" because I am bombarded with them anyway.

in terms of "brats" I have to say, my parents would never have let me behave the way some of my friends' kids behave - but those friends openly say to me "we can't come to you because he will wreck your flat, can you come over here".

so they are showing that consideration, but after one particularly long day with 2 friends, their 3 infants recently, I decided to ditch politeness and see if we can go back to childfree lunches.

@Lizzie48 Horses for courses. You could equally argue that some parents delight in telling others how much they 'couldn't imagine life' without their 'darling' offspring, and/or 'never knew what it was to love' before their children came along.

Insufferable people are insufferable people regardless of their child status.

I don't doubt that for some those feelings are genuinely true; for some people, children gave their lives meaning, for others, children would be the end of the world. But it goes back to my point - the insufferableness of people picking apart others' life choices are just insufferable people regardless.

the fact that there's no childfree spaces to go for anything ever does really bug me

Thats not true though, is it?