To find the term 'child free' annoying?

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

At least I can't be blamed for adding to the population numbers seeing as I adopted my DDs.

I definitely think the term 'childfree' has an air of smug, wankiness about it.

Afterall, the things you're 'free' of are always bad things - mortgage free, cancer free, debt free, germ free, care free, gluten free (that one being bad for the person who is free of it anyway). So using the term 'childfree' sounds like you're saying children are a bad thing that you're free of.

Meh. If people want to assign wanky-sounding labels to themselves it makes no difference to me so I don't really care much either way.

@VladmirsPoutine I suppose I could say I've chosen to be 'dog free'?? I don't have a problem with other people's mutts, though I hate finding dog shit on the pavement whilst on the school run, so you could say that's another lifestyle choice. (I do own cats though. )

'but if an edge of resentment creeps in, it's because London feels like a gigantic pedestrianised creche at the moment'

Oh I agree with you so much it hurts!

I love my local pub for example. They do great beers and great food and the staff are friendly. Go in there before 8pm though, especially on weekends, and it really is like a giant crèche, with little kids running around and shrieking. Ditto most of the cafes and restaurants near us. If a childfree pub or crèche or restaurant opened near us, I would be in there at every opportunity.

Meh. If people want to assign wanky-sounding labels to themselves it makes no difference to me so I don't really care much either way.

Funny. You sound like you really care.

Weird how bent out of shape some people are over this word.

"Afterall, the things you're 'free' of are always bad things - mortgage free, cancer free, debt free, germ free, care free, gluten free"

Have you ever been to a cake buffet, for example at a wedding, where there are loads of different cakes? There are always more of the gluten free ones left than any other; people don't even try them! So much so that my MIL deliberately labelled the cakes I made for BIL's wedding 'gluten free' to ensure no-one tried them. (And before some contrarian tells me I am imagining things, this was just before she told me straight up how much their wedding made ours look "boring and staid").

Anyway, my point is that this completely negates the idea that most people see 'gluten free' as a positive label, thus also putting a bit hole in your point.

Parents like childfree places sometimes actually. When DH and I are out together for a romantic meal I do prefer to go to places where children are not running around.

A lot of parents would appreciate childfree pubs IMO.

When people ask if I have children I try and be polite and say 'no I am childless/childfree or just no'. Sometimes I forget to be 'polite' and say 'good god no' because I am so happy not to have children but to a parent it probably sounds a bit .

but to a parent it probably sounds a bit

I think half of us are silently agreeing with you!

But fundamentally, people who say they are child-free as a representation of their choice don't see having a baby as a positive. Or they'd be doing it.

Meh. If people want to assign wanky-sounding labels to themselves it makes no difference to me so I don't really care much either way

Funny. You sound like you really care. Weird how bent out of shape some people are over this word

It's possible to think something sounds wanky without giving any headspace to it. What I find 'funny' is your insistence that I care when I don't think I've said anything that suggests I'm really 'bent out of shape' about it.

Tbh I can only think that you'd need to convince yourself that people are bothered by the term if you actually do mean it to sound wanky and want it to piss people off...and are maybe somewhat put out if it's not working? Which is weird/sad. Flowers/biscuits/whatever for you.

It’s an easy way of saying ‘I do not have children and would like to leave the conversation there please.’ You could liken it to someone saying their diet is meat-free rather than vegetarian. People may be reluctant to use vegetarian or vegan because they can’t be arsed with the harassment that will ensue. Similar sort of thing.

I don't have kids, don't want them, never have and am sick to death of being made to feel bad about that. Why the fuck do you care if I call myself childless, childfree or any other description? Don't you think women get a hard time as it is when they dare to divert from the norm? Women should be supporting each other in choices like this, not pushing each other down.

GoldenHefalump why so angry? Truly odd.

'A lot of parents would appreciate childfree pubs IMO. grin'

I think you're probably right

OP way more people I know who do all the "clean eating" chia seed paleo bollocks have got kids. They're usually also the attachment parenting type.

GoldenHefalump why so angry? Truly odd

😂 If you say so.

Well maybe it's not your intention but your posts don't read as being either anger-less or anger-free. Even with the obligatory smilies.

I hope your day gets better.

I can't imagine why any normal woman would choose to be childfree or however they'd like to be referred. I'm not being goady but I've never met one who I didn't think was a bit odd. Or sad.

Nobody describes themselves as free if something positive.

I'm fucking ecstatic as a child free person. No negativity here.

I can't imagine why any normal woman would choose to be childfree or however they'd like to be referred. I'm not being goady but I've never met one who I didn't think was a bit odd. Or sad

You are goady, as well as insensitive, offensive, and a truly tragic excuse for a human.

One of my favourite statements is that motherhood is seen as the default status and golden standard of all women. Saying no to being a mother mean that many people don’t class you as a proper woman. I can’t be tired as I have no kids. I can’t be stressed as I have no kids. I supposedly don’t know what real love is as I have no kids.

I am not childless. To me that’s someone who wants children but can’t have them. I don’t have that void.

I am an aunt. I am a babysitter. I am complete by myself. I am childfree if anyone asks.

I can't imagine why any normal woman would choose to be childfree or however they'd like to be referred. I'm not being goady but I've never met one who I didn't think was a bit odd. Or sad.

Goodness. I don't normally pity the offspring of MN posters but in your case an exception has most definitely been made. What a narrow life you must lead. Hopefully they will not be as limited in their thinking.

Well guest, you clearly need to get out more. Or maybe spend some time reading the many heartfelt posts on this thread from women who are deeply glad and grateful that they are childfree, and the reasons they feel that way. Either way, you seem to be the odd one

Can't say anything without being offensive here. It is weird. After all, it's what we're programmed to do. Why would you not want to do it?