This going to happen

[MollyWantsACracker]

Family get-together this weekend
My parents have found out that my faux-brother-law (they’re not married) is heavily in debt - 40k

They have a beautiful little son. He’s nearly 2.

Their own relationship is shite. No joint account he has Good job always skint

I was your sister in this scenario...

Do this... (as @across said)

1-If Sister is financially dependent on this man in any way or there are financial 'ties' (joint accounts, home ownership, credit cards) that will affect her, she needs to know. Your primary concern should be her security and that of her child.

2-Borrowing from your 80 yr old dad. Well, there's no fool like an old fool. If he's lending money he cannot afford to, unless there is some other issue (dementia, bullying, emotional blackmail, etc) then that's between him and your dad.

3-If you don't tell her, the chances are that when (not if) this debt surfaces she will eventually find out that you all knew and said nothing. IMO, this is going to damage your relationship with her much more than telling.

But, this appears to be third or fourth hand information, i.e. a 'source person' told SiL who told your parents who told you. Probably the best thing to do would be to tell not-BiL that you've heard that he has debt your sister doesn't know about and that if he doesn't tell her, you will.

.......
Then get off this thread until you’re sober, you’re coming across like you’re really going to enjoy the drama that may be about to occur. Plus all the stupid family descriptions. He’s your brother in law, get over it, plenty of people don’t marry now, they’re still family. His sister is not your sister in law and will never be.

I know you can tell me that right now! You've been saying it all evening!! But how do you KNOW????????????????

Maybe she's not confronted him because a) she has no reason to. Bills are paid etc or b)it's all bollocks that you've "heard"

Either tell her or dont tell her. Either way it may go badly for you. Calling him faux bil probably isnt going to make her happy either is it?

So aren't all of your in-laws faux-in-laws if no-one gets married in your family?

So your brother isnt married so his wife isnt your sil. Nobody's married so no in laws just fake ones😂

So your brothers girlfriends sister was the friend of your sisters boyfriend. Your sisters boyfriend told your brothers wifes sister about his debt. The brothers wifes sister broke down and told your patents? Your real parents? Not fake patents?

Sorry like but this is hilarious.
Cant wait for the family / faux family get together at the weekend. Please get drunk again 😂

snews thank you for reading & deceifering my ridiculous posts
I want my sister to know.

Have you considered the possibility that he/they are skint because he/they are working hard to pay off the debt?

You appear to have little faith in your sister to manage her own affairs. If you suspect mental/financial abuse in their relationship then that is an entirely different matter and there are ways that you can reach out and offer support to your sister should she wish to accept it.

Why would you have started the thread otherwise?
Drunk idiot not making sense?

Maybe if you do try to "deal" with this, do it when you are sober. Otherwise you are likely to cause a major family rift and just end up hurting your sister.

She needs to know. It will impact her credit rating if she’s linked to him financially.
Incorrect. Your credit rating is based on you as a sole individual, what your partner does has no effect. The only time your credit rating is affected is if you have a joint debt (for example mortgage) and you don't keep up the repayments, then it will affect you both.

My family are torn to bits to know what to do or say over this issue.
Bit melodramatic Why is it an issue? Lots of people have debt pre-relationship as long as he is keeping to his repayments I'm struggling to see how this affects you or your family?

She’s kept this secret for a few years
He may not even still owe £40k then, he might have been paying great chunks of it off hence being short of cash on holidays etc?!

& could see that my sis and parents were distressed
About what??? You've said they didn't know about the debt???

Well if you want her to know, ask her if she already does. If she doesn't, tell her. I can see, through your alcohol fuelled lens (mine is too!) that you do care about your sister! So when you sober up, just talk to her!!!! (And read this thread back!!! And maybe show it to her!!! Then have a girls night out!)

I am certainly a little drunk.
I am definitely not an idiot.

My lovely sister. She is a rescuer, and slowly falling out of love, and this news will be hard and will have further repercussions.

Still and all, thank you lovely vipers

Married (as in church) - so are other kinds of weddings faux-weddings?!

I think it was very wrong of your parents to tell you this rather than talking to your sister or your BIL.

Jeez, no nutjob like a pissed nutjob.

Seriously, butt out your sisters faux relationship and find yourself one.

Oh dear lord. I don’t give a continental fuck about marriage wherever it occurs or how people conceive of their relationships.
By faux-bil, I mean the fake uncle/aunt whothefuck blows by.
For the nieces/nephews who are right there 24/7/36fucking5

I got so confused I had to do a diagram for myself.
For what it's worth I think your sister comes first and you should talk to her. She may already suspect.

Oh geez so what if she's half pissed like :/,everybody on here absolute non substance taking saints?! Anyways,hopefully the outcome. will be good,still not sure of the question :/

No not everybody,sorry only meant that for the judgemental posters!!

Can I just say a v big thank to the people who didn’t rip the piss out of me tonight

I don't know about drunk OP. You sound more like you've been mainlining toilet duck.

Thanks HesterLee! So what about Sharon's faux bil? Where does he fit in?

Especially to hester
Who made a diagram ❤️

my sis and parents were distressed

If your sister doesn’t know about the debt, what exactly is she distressed about.

So all this drama over you KNOWING your sister doesn’t know about the debt and KNOWING that “faux” bil I even felt like a twat typing that out has debt but you have no proof of either?

Scenario 1: there is no debt and it’s all hearsay, you go in all guns blazing and come across like a right cunt, sister and sisters dp cut you off of their lives for interfering

Scenario 2; Sister doesn’t know about debt which is real, feels like a mug when you make a drama llama family gathering with the soul purpose of humiliating her and her DP, she cuts you out of life for being an awful person

Scenario 3: she knows about the debt, thinks “what the actual fuck has it got to do with anyone else” and resents you for making her the star attraction in Mollysfamilyfuckerycircus

Stop getting involved, stop trying to humiliate your sister at a family gathering! If you genuinely cared about her you would broach this in a much more gentle way rather than posting “This is going to happen” while gleefully rubbing your hands together like some fucked up Mr Burns character because your sisters world could be torn apart is bloody horrific and I hope when you’ve sobered up you realise what an awful person you sound like.

Thanks bex will call it a night

Message: have the difficult conversation

Yes molly - but just with sis. Not in a big family meeting.