AIBU About Constant Requests To Babysit?

[zukiecat]

I'll try and keep this short and not let it turn into a rant, but please bear with me!

Since the start of the year a colleague has asked me constantly to babysit her four DC, some of which has been for nights out and some so her DH can work overtime (voluntary)

Looking back on my diary I have done more than 50 hours of babysitting since the middle of January, I have health issues and it's really starting to take its toll on me, I have Pernicious Anaemia (amongst other conditions) and sometimes coping with my part time job is more than enough for me, I don't ask for or receive any sort of payment for this babysitting, last week I got a bit pissed of because I looked after the DC for the whole day, then had to go straight to work for an evening shift, it was pouring rain when I left but I didn't get offered a lift to work, I should say I never ever ask for or expect any lifts from anyone to anywhere, but seeing as though I had looked after her DC from 9am to 5pm and it would have taken her DH five minutes to run me down the road, I have Sciatica and Arthritis which are made worse by cold damp weather.

Colleague also asked our boss not to put me on the rota on certain evenings because, and I quote "I need her to babysit"

My own DC are adults, one DD has left home and the younger one also has health issues and she's had nine hospital admissions since June 2017, she was also diagnosed this weekend with a blood clot on her lung which is very worrying, so I need to be around to look after her too.

I had a bad dose of flu in January, but colleague's DH wouldn't stop phoning and texting me to ask if I would be able to babysit that week so that they could have a night out. I also had quite severe laryngitis three weeks ago, and this, combined with my other health conditions really took it out of me, but I still got endless texts asking me to babysit for another night out.

I'm just feeling exhausted and to be honest, just used. I'm not the best at saying No to people and some do take advantage of that, but do you think I would be justified to refuse to do any more babysitting and not give a reason?

Sorry, this was longer than I intended it to be, but thanks for reading!

Good grief, 50 hours since January????

This is beyond ridiculous. I wouldn't have done even 3 hours, as she is a work colleague not a friend and she has taken advantage of you big time.

You need to tell her straight. "I cannot babysit for you any more. I have done over 50 hours babysitting for you and enough is enough. NO MORE and please don't speak to me about babysitting ever again because I will not discuss it."

FFS, SAY NO!

Your friend is a CF extraordinaire! Just stop!

Tell her you won't be babysitting any more. She has had 50 free hours since January alone, and you are done. She can pay someone to babysit. And tell your boss that no one except you should be talking to him about your hours and shifts at work. No one.

I'm genuinely shocked that she had the balls to do this!

She is not your friend. YOu will see that as soon as you say 'no' to her.

Thanks everyone for all the support, I really appreciate it and all your messages.

Right, starting from tomorrow, No more babysitting, free or otherwise, numbers blocked and if she hassles me at work, then I'm straight to the boss, we don't have a HR Dept on site, it's in our head office, 60 miles away, but the manager will deal with it if needs be, Colleague is slightly senior to me, and as someone said if she starts at work, then it's an abuse of power

You go girl, you can do it. Be strong. Don't discuss. Just say I've told you I'm not doing it and there is nothing more I will be saying on the subject. Then walk away or pick the phone up and make a call or whatever

For you all!

For your support and the gentle kick up the backside I needed,

I'm off to bed now, got an early hospital appt with DD to find out where we go from here with her lung problems

Xx

Op, you obviously find it hard to say no to helping, in this situation I think I would get in first & tell them no more child care before they ask.
Send a text along the lines of Dd not well, need to focus on her & won’t be able to spend anymore time looking after your kids. Then turn off your phone.

Well done op! You can do this.

We're all behind you.

I hate it when nice people get taken advantage of like this.

Remember- you owe her nothing, you do not have to explain yourself to her or justify your decision.

It's no and that's that. Ask her if she would like to return the favour and see how that goes.

The takers in life have no bloody shame.

Good on you, zukie

Well done!!! Also hope all goes well with the hospital appointment tomorrow.

You're being exploited and you have to stop it.
Well done at blocking her number. Say no to all further requests.

know what you're saying is right and I'm a fool for having put up with this all this time, but my mental health issues were in part due to not being able to stand up for myself,

You're not a fool you are kind and loads of people would find it hard to be assertive in the situation you describe. Send a text along the lines of the one nocabbageinmyeye suggests and if they reply and you need help with a response come back on here and we will help you!

Just read that you've blocked her which is good but i think a message telling her you won't be babysitting may save you hassle at work. You know the situation best though. Best wishes for your DD tomorrow

Well at least you’ve noticed she’s taking the piss!

Family offer to babysit for us, and the occasional friend. They’ve never asked for money (I’ve offered, but it’s a no).

If we don’t have family, we have a few other babysitters, and we pay them.

Stand firm OP and let us know how it goes

She's a cunt weasel, zukie, and do not tell her 'sorry'. Just 'No more babysitting for you.' I'd go to your boss first if possible. No discussion, either. 'This isn't up for discussion. I'm not available to do it anymore at all for any reason.' 'Why not?' 'I told you it's not up for discussion. No more babysitting.' Block, block, block because she is a bully and so is her h. Fucking cow. How dare they? Pair of twats!

What everyone else has said. You are a lovely person but you are being walked all over by people who seriously would not spit on you if you were on fire . Not to give you a lift 5 mins down the road after 50 hours babysitting since January?? Really? You know the answer love. Sending best wishes x

Wow, I find it hard to believe that some people are so cheeky! I babysit for my friend who is a single parent. Occasionally, it's so that she can have a night out, but is usually for things like parents' evenings or if she has to work on a Saturday morning (usually last minute) or another emergency. I would never take payment but she always offers to have my tea ready for me if it's an early evening babysitting duty and I get lovely birthday and Christmas presents.

I can only reiterate what everyone else has said and am disgusted that they have had 50 hours of care from you when it's all pleasure/social events (unless I've read it wrong). Babysitting for friends is one thing, but a work colleague taking the p*ss is a different ball game altogether.

Good luck. Deep breath and just say no!

Please update us when you can

Blimey 50 hours of free childcare since January???
Please come and babysit for me!!!!
Seriously l, hope you get to re-establish boundaries that work for you and best of luck.

YANBU. She has taken you for a mug. End it here.
If you have the balls (I wouldn't!) text her - 'I have just totted up how much babysitting I have done for you recently. It's getting a bit out of hand and I want to spend more time at home . Please don't include me in your future plans. ' if you dont want to do that -then just keep on saying 'I can't, I have other plans' in future.

I am normally pretty mousy and go along to get along, but was pushed to the brink once when DC were in infant school and I turned yet another request saying ' I can't help, I have other plans'. When the CF asking for my services had gone another mum asked me what my other plans were. I told her I planned to lie on the settee and stare at the ceiling. She burst out laughing and became one of my BFs.

What awful awful people they are I'm glad your going to start saying No,you have more than enough on your plate and they decided to have they're children therefore they need to learn to look after them themselves.

I hope your DD's hospital appointment goes well

They are taking advantage the cheeky buggers. Tell them "no doesn't work for me" or just to fuck off

This isn't really babysitting you're doing, it's childcare. For free. They need to pay a childminder if they need their children looked after while they go to work.

It's absolutely fine to say No to people. You certainly don't owe this woman anything.

Say to yourself

"My name is Zammo, and I say NO!"