AIBU About Constant Requests To Babysit?

[zukiecat]

I'll try and keep this short and not let it turn into a rant, but please bear with me!

Since the start of the year a colleague has asked me constantly to babysit her four DC, some of which has been for nights out and some so her DH can work overtime (voluntary)

Looking back on my diary I have done more than 50 hours of babysitting since the middle of January, I have health issues and it's really starting to take its toll on me, I have Pernicious Anaemia (amongst other conditions) and sometimes coping with my part time job is more than enough for me, I don't ask for or receive any sort of payment for this babysitting, last week I got a bit pissed of because I looked after the DC for the whole day, then had to go straight to work for an evening shift, it was pouring rain when I left but I didn't get offered a lift to work, I should say I never ever ask for or expect any lifts from anyone to anywhere, but seeing as though I had looked after her DC from 9am to 5pm and it would have taken her DH five minutes to run me down the road, I have Sciatica and Arthritis which are made worse by cold damp weather.

Colleague also asked our boss not to put me on the rota on certain evenings because, and I quote "I need her to babysit"

My own DC are adults, one DD has left home and the younger one also has health issues and she's had nine hospital admissions since June 2017, she was also diagnosed this weekend with a blood clot on her lung which is very worrying, so I need to be around to look after her too.

I had a bad dose of flu in January, but colleague's DH wouldn't stop phoning and texting me to ask if I would be able to babysit that week so that they could have a night out. I also had quite severe laryngitis three weeks ago, and this, combined with my other health conditions really took it out of me, but I still got endless texts asking me to babysit for another night out.

I'm just feeling exhausted and to be honest, just used. I'm not the best at saying No to people and some do take advantage of that, but do you think I would be justified to refuse to do any more babysitting and not give a reason?

Sorry, this was longer than I intended it to be, but thanks for reading!

give a reason (not get be 🤔)

Horrified by this OP. Hope you manage to get shot of this CF. Good luck!

Cheeky! Just say no. If it's easier to have a reason say you're not feeling well.

Don't answer the phone or reply to texts immediately (or at all)

Say no to her and also tell your boss that you are available for overtime any evening she needs.

Look after yourself Op. don't be afraid to say no. Ask your boss why they think it's appropriate to take advice from your colleague over days YOU can work.

Hope it goes well at the hospital today

Really feel for you OP.

I used to help out my friend all the time with childcare.
We also worked in the same shop.
I had a bad break up with my then partner,domestic abuse etc.
I took a week off work to move out and recover from the awful time I was having.

My friend put her name down to cover all my shifts....and then expected me to babysit her kids while she did....I never baysat for her children again.

Please don't let users take advantage of your kind nature

start practicing no.

(do you also have a list of favours you could ask her for? sounds as if you have 50 IOUs to start claiming on . As you are ill, perhaps she could pick up some groceries for you? )

She does not respect you one bit, why is your boss communicating with your collegue about your hours you can work because of babysitting, very unprofessional. Love and value yourself op, and tell her no, that she is taking the mickey expecting you to babysit for free. What a nerve. She has got a bigger front than Big Ben.

Hi OP i hope you are starting to feel better.
This couple have not just crossed the line they've run it over with a form lift truck!
You have been extremely accommodating up until now and they have been taking the Mickey with no thought about your physical health not your own work pattern preferences.
Absolutely say no and stand fir.don't give an inch because if you do it will be pushed until you are back to square one.
Put yourself and your health first.

Colleague is abusing her senior role by asking manager not to put you on the rota. The manager should always check with you.

Glad to hear you will say jo from now on.

"Just to let you know that this is the last time I'll be able to babysit for you, it's too much for me and I'm cutting back on my commitments."
Then say no each time.

Personally I'd tell her straight that she's taken you for a mug and that needs to stop, but I'm guessing you're not the type of person to do that.

I’d definitely tell her no. The way you do it is up to you. It really does sound like you’re absolutely lovely!

Think you need to stop the babysitting full stop. CF like that will manipulate you into doing more if you simply state you want to cut down. Your daughter comes before their children. You need to be well enough for you and your kids.

I would just compose one text message along the lines of "due to my many health issues I will no longer be able to babysit for you. On top of work it is leaving me exhausted." and leave it there. Don't get drawn into any debates on it.

What they all said! And if manager gets involved I’d be clear that you want to save your energy for your actual job.

Of course say no
Bit more interestingly why they hellbhaveyou been doing this ?
I can’t understand !!!

No more babysitting for this CF full stop!

What everyone else says....What a CF asking your boss to arrange your hours to suit her

From your OP I’d guess that you say too much and it gives the CF something to argue against to get you to change your mind. Next time she asks you just say no then stop, don’t justify, don’t explain and if they keep texting you you’re under no obligation to reply. If it was me, next time I’d say “no, I don’t want to” and leave it at that, but then I’m known for being a bit blunt.

Why are you making so many excuses not to babysit someone else’s children for free? You’re trying to justify this as much as humanely possible but anyone with half a brain can see this woman is taking the absolute piss and you seriously need to tell her where to get off!

What a CF!!! Taking full advantage of your kind nature. I do feel for you because it is hard to say no when put on the spot. But like the PP do not get into conversation with her. Just stick to no and no, I don't want to.
Good Luck zukiecat
Hope you had a positive hospital visit with DD

Hope your DD’s appt gives some answers and that CFColleague doesn’t badger you!

‘No, i cant’ . What do you have on? ‘Nothing, but I need to prioritise my and my daughters health over your social life and extra income.’

Hi everyone

Sorry not to have been on at all today, but we're not long in from the hospital, good news there is that DD's blood clot has dissolved due to the injections she's been having over the past few days. Doctors are happy enough with things there, and that it's just been one of those things, just got to be quiet for a few days and phone GP if anything else happens there

Thank you all so much for all the messages of support and for giving me the push I needed to say no to colleague

Definitely not doing any more babysitting for her, free or otherwise! I'll remember all these messages when she asks me next time, and this time I'll have the resolve to refuse

That is good news zukie, I am pleased. Did she ask you to babysit today.