To think 31 is not too old to have a baby?

[GettingStuffDoneInSlippers]

DH is adamant his personal cut off point is 30.

I think that's ridiculous, I think 30 is fairly young still!

DH is 26 in a few months.

If it wasn't for a lot of uncertainty surrounding my fertility, I think 32/35 would have been a lovely age for my 1st!

We have a baby DS, who I absolutely adore but I can't get my head around 31+ being too 'old'

He's the unreasonable one, no?

Yeh he’s nuts. There are many good reasons to have kids younger (particularly health related) but even then the cut off would be about 35. I think the average age a man has his first child is about 31 now, let alone their last if they have several.

He is being ridiculous. Of course it isn't too old. I felt like 30-35 was an optimum age, old enough to have established my career but not too old to have extra complications.

I don't think most people would think 31 is too old. But I guess if he personally doesn't want to have a baby after the age of 30, he's entitled to feel that way.

Paper Yes but as you say, those health implications aren't relevant, really, under 35

He's quite the deranged chap, it seems

For me 30 isn't too old, but it's a personal decision not an objective rule. He might well feel that he'd be too old over 30, and you can't really tell him he isn't to feel that way.

Really
Are you being goady on purpose

That's his personal cut off point though and we're all different.

Mine was about 35 I think, although I had my last at 33.

Are you being goady on purpose

Goodness no! But I think my DH is

I originally thought he was on a wind up to me but he's dead serious

It's all down to personal choice. I'll hopefully have my second at 31 ish and then my family will be done (dh is much older) but that's because it fits right for us.

Though as a woman I'd not want to leave it much later than 30/31 to start trying for a family as it often takes time to conceive (10 months dc1 and 9 months+ for hopefully dc2)

I think 25 is ridiculously young! I would never have considered a baby at that age, I had only just finished medical school and was too busy establishing my career to tie myself down like that! Had my first at 38, which is the norm in my social group. I don’t know anyone who started TTC before 35.

Just as well your DH isn’t married to me

I'm 35 and currently 27 weeks with my first, I haven't felt even vaguely ready before now. Declaring a blanket age by which everyone should have babies is unreasonable but thinking he might not want to past a certain age himself is up to him I suppose.

I had my first when I was 31 and I was one of the youngest mothers in the ante natal group.

Well it comes across as goady by default

Sashkin I think it may be career related, as you say.

DH has a very good job, good field to be in. But it isn't really degree heavy in relevance, and you build your way up by experience really

There are plenty of men in my neighbourhood (SW London) including my DH, well in to their 40s (and some in their early 50s!!) still having babies with their spouses.

Cut off of 30 is ridiculous but with these things I think it's quite dependent on your geographic location + demographics

For most of human history women who survived earlier births were having children right into their 40s. The idea of 30 being some sort of maximum safe age would be mind boggling to earlier generations, even if in general people started having children at an earlier age than they do now.

Yes def ! That’s why at 33 I’m having my 1st in the next month ;) dh is 40.
Also st the end age is a number, I feel old at 33 (haven’t clubbed for ages and body starting to be achy :D) but someone else same age as me might feel like a teenager

I was 37 when I had my first and 42 with my second. At 25 I was far too busy enjoying myself to think about family. Each to their own. My parents were 21.

Cut off of 30 is ridiculous but with these things I think it's quite dependent on your geographic location + demographics

His Mum was 32 when she had him. Although he was her last

My mum had me at 26, and that was considered fairly older by cousins, since they had babies at 15/16. My DNan had my mum at 22, also considered getting on a tad, apparently!

Ha ha ha! That's not even funny, just really odd. As a general point of view that is. What are his reasons? We can all have personal reasons for things of course.

I regard early 30s as the 'normal' time to start a family. Later

Well I had my first in my early 20s and circumstances ( single mum for the most of it and no luck so far with dc 2 happening ) means realistically I'm looking at mid 30s if I'm lucky enough to have another . Already feel like it might never happen and pretty gutted with how it's ok panned out so I hope this is not the general consensus

I had ds at nearly 33

*all panned out

I’m 28+5 with my first and I’m 30. It’s an absolutely perfect time for us. Good jobs, happily married, our own home and financially secure (and we’ve been on lots of amazing holidays which was important for us to do).
I think the right time to have children is what’s right for the individual. 31 is definitely not old though.

Oops, posted too soon!

I'd regard late 20s as young, late 30s as older than average, for a first child. Early 20s as precociously young.