To think 31 is not too old to have a baby?

[GettingStuffDoneInSlippers]

DH is adamant his personal cut off point is 30.

I think that's ridiculous, I think 30 is fairly young still!

DH is 26 in a few months.

If it wasn't for a lot of uncertainty surrounding my fertility, I think 32/35 would have been a lovely age for my 1st!

We have a baby DS, who I absolutely adore but I can't get my head around 31+ being too 'old'

He's the unreasonable one, no?

Agree totally depend on demographics. In London I was the youngest in my NCT at 35

DS is 30 and his gf is 31 with a baby due next week! They were the youngest in their antenatal group!

I think it’s ok to have a personal cut off point. For me that was 30 too. I’m in a good job, with endless paths I can take at any point in life, we have our own house and have been together since we were 16. To me, it made more sense to have our babies young. I’ll be done in the next few weeks when I have our 3rd child at 27 (had my first at 22). My personal opinion is if you can get it over and done with sooner and it suits your life then it makes sense to. You can have more time with your grandchildren! Obviously not everyone’s life works out like mine and there’s nothing wrong with having children in your 30s, it was just not for me.

This thread is ridiculous. He hasn’t said no-one should have babies over the age of 30 has he? Just that for him it is his personal cut-off point which he is personally entitled to.

And this could have other connotations i.e. he is 26 now, is married and settled down and perhaps feels that he would like to have a baby within the next four years which is also not unreasonable. For me personally I think that over 35 would have been a deal-breaker, and I think that over 40 is ridiculous. But people do and that’s there own personal choices. But what I do think is that for people who have babies much older they often don’t consider the further implications i.e. having teenagers staying out late at night when you’re in your late 50’s/60’s or having to defer retirement because you’re at retirement age and the kids are only just leaving home, before one considers the health implications.

But it does all come down to personal choice at the end of the day. My mum was 23 wen she had me. Now she is still of an age where she plays an active role in mine and DC’s lives and that just wouldn’t have happened if she’d had me at 40.

I don't think it's too old at all, and I say this as someone who had mine at 20 and 25, my dp was 35 with our last and he never felt too old.

But it may be a personal cut of point for your partner, which is fine.

All those saying they were too busy having fun in their 20s to have kids, well we still had fun as well and some lovely holidays, my children enjoyed those memories with us. I owned my first home at 20. Also my mother had me in her mid 30s and I never knew one set of granddparents as they had both died and didn't have as much time with my lovely nan as my older siblings did.

I’ve said I won’t even try until I hit 30 ... it’s A perfectly normal age and I think younger than average for men?

It's a very personal thing and he can set his limit where he likes. Perhaps he wants to still be fairly young and active once your children are adults?

I had my first a few days before I turned 29, and second is due in couple of weeks so I am now 30. I have never considered myself an "older" mum, just a pretty averagely aged mum.

Most of my friends I have met since having DD at baby groups etc have all been around the same age as me.

The thought of having children had barely crossed my mind when I was 31!

I'm guessing you have a different cultural background with both your families having babies consistently young. Could this have helped form his opinion?

32 isn't young, is it? Either is 26 particularly young at all. It's only my extended family that have had babies very very young

His haven't at all

I, for one, would not let a 25 year-old boy dictate my future, as it seems the OP is willing to

The 'OP' isn't willing to do so at all, I am left undecided really. But I'm pushing more towards no more DC. And he's not a boy

It's not too old in general of course but maybe it's too old for him

It's looking likely we won't have DC together until I'm at least 30. We didn't necessarily plan it this way but we didn't get together until I was 24 and 31 respectively. We want to have lots of fun together before having DC together and as I was a student for the first year of us being together and then saving up funds for the next 12 months or it's only in the last year we've been able to have nice holidays together etc. I know you can have nice holidays with DC but we want to be able to have fun on our own for a few years.

DP has a 6 year old from his first marriage. We have fun with her, take her on nice holidays etc. But sometimes it's nice just the two of us and as we know she won't be missing out when she's with her Mum who also takes her on holidays, we make the most of it and go away just the two of us. We know we won't be able to do that if we have DC together as there won't be anyone to look after them.

I think ultimately everyone has to do what's right for them and whilst 31 definitely isn't too old for us, 31 obviously is for your DP.

Tell your DH that someone on MN had DC at 40 and 44. And give him this .

Agree it's difficult to argue with a personal limit as he's entitled to feel that way.

But just to add to the chorus, I was 32 with my first (dh was 41) and nearly 38 with my second (dh was 47). Both straightforward pregnancies/ births.

YANBU. But it is bloody difficult (as you know) and if one isn’t in good shape it might be significantly more difficult in one’s thirties. I’m in my twenties and even now I find it incredibly difficult. I couldn’t imagine doing it once the aging process started to kick in properly. But a lot of thirty plus parents I know are just fine, many coping better than I did, because they exercise regularly and eat well and are generally very healthy. Maybeyour DH just means that he doesn’t want to put in the extra effort.

I had mine at 35 and 39. I don't really exercise, try to eat healthily but I'm significantly overweight. Despite that I'm managing just fine with two young children. I don't feel that the ageing process is significantly hampering me at 40plus.

I had mine at 28, 30 and 38 - dh was 29 (nearly 30), 32 and 40. I don't think either of us have noticed anything different or harder - any noticeable drop in energy or increased tiredness - between the older two and the third.

We were among the first of our friends to have a baby when we had our first, and I was about the second youngest in my ante-natal class.

It isn't too old in general. It's perfectly acceptable as his personal cutoff point, and is no more or less valid than anyone else's. You should therefore not be characterising it as ridiculous, any more than anyone should say that about your desire to wait 5-7 years.

No 40 is not too old. started ivf at 36 and gave birth at 37. Started ivf for a sibling 4 months before my 41st.

I think most people have babies between 30-35 ish. But at 30 you still have many years of potential fertility left so no it's not too old for most people. Of course the longer you leave it though the higher chance something will go wrong in the meantime like various medical conditions that can effect fertility so it's a matter of weighing up if you're willing to risk waiting to ttc.

Well the adverage age for a woman in the UK to have her first baby is 28.6.

Assuming the majority of women don't go on to have 'irish twins', a woman having a subsequent child will be more than likely aged around 31 or above.

I hope not! Had my first at 36, now 37 and pregnant again!

I bloody well hope not. I was 32 with my first and DH was 43. We plan to have more too.
I'm always worried when people have such specific plans....must be married by xx, have baby 1 by xx and baby 2 by xx....... Unfortunately life doesn't always work like that.

My First (and only for health reasons) at 41. DH was 34.

My boyfriend is 32 and I’m nearly 27, not thinking about kids until we’re married and settled so I’ll probably be st least 30. Tbh I feel ready for a baby now but I’m happy to wait too.