To think 31 is not too old to have a baby?

[GettingStuffDoneInSlippers]

DH is adamant his personal cut off point is 30.

I think that's ridiculous, I think 30 is fairly young still!

DH is 26 in a few months.

If it wasn't for a lot of uncertainty surrounding my fertility, I think 32/35 would have been a lovely age for my 1st!

We have a baby DS, who I absolutely adore but I can't get my head around 31+ being too 'old'

He's the unreasonable one, no?

clumsy it most certainly isn't the general thought process, I promise!

No one thinks 30 is older. I'm certain my DH is a bit odd with this opinion

I'm the youngest in my NCT class by 13 years

I’m 31 and being induced with my second tomorrow....

Why didn’t someone tell me earlier that I’m too old?! 😫

It's very much a personal choice. I didn't want to have babies in my 30's but that's my choice and lots of people choose different things.

I had my first at 31. I thought I was young.

I did meet a couple at a baby gym class though where they had 2 kids and were now 25 and 26 and he had had a vasectomy because they were done now. I was kind of gaping at them a bit. As was my friend who had her first at 39 (and last at 44)

I would think a 26 year old who already had a baby was very young.

Early 20s as precociously young.

Well I think that comment is just as bad as my DH's opinion of 30+ being 'older', but each to their own and all that, I suppose

Why didn’t someone tell me earlier that I’m too old?! 😫

You're not. Most people would raise an eyebrow at 30 odd being considered 'old'

We had our first at 25 and DH imposed a cut off of 30.
Now we are 31 and he has amended it to 35.

Things change.

Oh and those cut offs are personal to him not a judgement on anything else.

It has a lot to do with kids age gaps and not wanting decades of baby years

First at 30, 2nd at 33 and currently pregnant with 3rd at 36, it's not too old!

He’s totally deranged. Clueless about life and biology. I used to think 25 was my goal age for having children, but I was a naive 18 year old then. I’d already met my husband, but married him at 25 and for the next 6 years did career and house buying and moving internationally and had baby 1 at 32, where I felt like a young mum, and among my fellow new mums I was. I’m 35 in a few weeks and having baby 2 in a few months. I plan to have finished babies by 40.
More seriously op, babies will affect you more than him. You will be pregnant for 9 months and take time out from work to care for a newborn. Don’t be pressured into the wrong decision for you. My husband would have welcomed babies anytime but I’m so glad I put those years into my career.

I guess its a personal thing but circumstances change, I had my first at 22 and my last at 42 was a second marriage

30 I would guess is around spot on average age?
I would personally find 37-38 my cut off point where I wouldn't want to be getting pregnant age wise though, even though other women do perfectly well into their 40's it wouldn't be what I want personally.

It could be his 'ideal' timeline for how old he'll be as his children grow up is just be around 30. Maybe he's viewing it as he doesn't want to be over 50 when his child's 20.

YANBU. HIBU. Late 30s has been the norm for my friends.

Thanks op

Feeling relieved at all the replies now !

I think it’s really weird he thinks that, but maybe he just doesn’t want another

Yanbu but you do sound hopelessly naive.

Hibu.

We were 35 and 39 when we had our first.

Hopefully having our second at roughly 39 and 43.

My parents were 33 and 35 when I was born and I never considered them to be too old.

I think it’s really weird he thinks that, but maybe he just doesn’t want another

He would love another, wants to start trying again fairly soon so there won't be an age gap stretch between DS and a new baby

Yanbu but you do sound hopelessly naive

I have to ask, why? I'm not on board with 30 odd being too 'old'

It sounds silly to me.

What twat told you it was?

Well no, 'precocious' means ahead of the crowd, or unusually mature. It's factual and arguably, complementary.

In my experience, thinking of everyone I know, that is factually what people who had babies in their early 20 are. Either people who knew themselves and what they wanted from life unusually well from an early age and were unusually family-focused. Or, more commonly among people I know, people who had accidents.

I just directly asked again, so I could reply to the thread, why he thinks 30 odd is too 'old'

He says he just doesn't want to be having children at home in his 50's or over, and wants to enjoy those older years with just me and him

He's keen to have another baby close to this one, and stop at the 2.

I also wish to stop at 2, but I'm not keen on a small age gap. I would prefer a 5/7 year age gap, if I'm honest... but in all honesty, I'm undecided, which again is fine

What twat told you it was?

Husband he's not a twat. Very lovely, actually

Just being a bit silly, I think

I had my first baby at 30 and I’m one of the first of my friends to have had a baby. I’m the second youngest in my NCT class, the youngest being 29. It’s really not that old to have your first nowadays so seems like quite an odd opinion to have!

Olga that's what I thought. 30 seems quite average, in fact in my social circle, lots were just getting married at that stage and had babies shortly after

I'm a lot younger than my social circle, but that's fine as I reached those life events earlier and I'm happy with that, for me personally

Does he mean actually too old or just too old for him? Because you already have a baby ds maybe it is more about wanting to get the young kids stage out the way in one go sort of thing and then get a bit more freedom back? I had my first in my early 20s and I think 30 would be my cut off point for anymore

Totally personal choice , 30 was my cut off age. I had ds1 21,DD 26 and DS2 29. Many reasons were no large gaps and dealing with school runs forever, being more physically active now than as I get older, health reasons, career prospects once dc are older.