To be fucking pissed off

[MrsMaxwell]

I dunno if I am being a princess here.

DH Mum is a cow, he openly admits it, she never sends bday or xmas cards to us or his kids and never bothers to visit us or show any interest in us or his kids.

He sent her flowers and a card for mother’s day.

His ex wife is a dick and we are currently going for custody of the kids and social care are involved. Today I took them to get a Mother’s day card and gift for her (for them). I (happily) do a lot for them.

My birthday this week. He didn’t organise a card for me from his kids (lovely gift from him).

AIBU to want him to encourage the kids to appreciate me a teeny tiny bit (I would have been thrilled with a card).

blastomama

A) you know absolutely nothing about me, who I am or my life or what has happened to me or any of my family.

B) It’s bad form to bring up past posts esp when people have name changed.

He DID suggest to them. They didn't want to. So yes, it would be forcing them after that point

How do you know they didn't want to?

You're contradicting yourself now. Upthread you said How is an 11 year old meant to get a card with no money?. It was pointed out to you that their father should have given them money for the card ...now you've changed made up it to "they didn't want to"...so how do you know this?

There are some people really over investing in this thread.

Well for starters, would there be any point? She isn’t here, she can’t see it

Ah behave yourself. Going by that logic, 99.9% of Mumsnet threads would be redundant.

It's an aibu thread, for the rest of us its nothing, we're not invested at all, let alone over invested, but its your life. I'd be criticising us less and looking at my own motivations more if i were you.

How do you know they didn't want to?

Well one texted and one didn’t. Presumably because one wanted to and one didn’t. I’m not sure how else you would explain that tbh.

I think when these children grow up you will be appreciated by them greatly. Don’t worry right now because kids depend on adults for that stuff, but in the future... I bet it’s different. They’ll appreciate the baking sessions and helping them run around doing things, sometimes it just takes time/age to realise what they have with you

I’m not sure of your point lemonaise. This thread was started about OPs DH not getting a card for her from his daughters. Your asking why their mother hasn’t been vilified. It’s hardly relevant to the thread. Is it? how would it be relevant for people responding to this situation to start saying how neglectful their mother is? I don’t get it. Her neglect isn’t actually relevant to the issue the OP has right now.

plus when you call the children neglected and mention they are about to be removed from their mother, you have to be blind not to see the implied heavy criticism of their mother and father

NotAllTimsWearCapes

Erm my OH job and where he is based are relevant to this thread either but you are questioning me about it.

I mean it wasn’t the Mum that forgot the card or had the job of arranging it. So why would someone start slagging her off on this thread? It makes no sense. If the thread was about the child not being taken to the GP then yes of course, her mother’s neglect is relevant and should be discussed. But it’s not on this one.

*aren’t

@MrsMaxwell i think it's time to hide this thread. It won't do you any good now that it's half "omg evil selfish step mother from hell" and "ohhh we know your backstory and we told you so ,how dare you complain?" .

By the sounds of it you are feeling better today anyways.

RebelRogue

Thanks - yes you are probably right

Well actually I wasn’t questioning you about it. I was saying that he worked away so might not have been with the girls to be able to get a card with them as suggested by an OP. You then corrected me and said he doesn’t worked away which I confused me because you have said he does. So I asked you to clarify.

if you were so convinced you were right and don't want to hear that you aren't, why did you post in aibu at all?

Most people don’t want to clarify every minute detail of their life on here because they wish to remain anonymous.

The kids are with us now and OH sees them during the week if that answers you totally irrelevant question.

Well one texted and one didn’t. Presumably because one wanted to and one didn’t. I’m not sure how else you would explain that tbh

My question was how do you know they didn't want to buy a birthday card. The thread is about OP being sad she didn't get a birthday card - nothing to do with texts. The texts are irrelevant.

because if they had wanted to, they could have asked their father to do so. They didn't.

They didn’t ask us to do Mother’s Day stuff either so it’s a moot point.

Ok so where we’re they on your birthday when one texted you? If that’s okay for you to clarify?

No wonder. Poor kids.

I’m not sure of your point lemonaise. This thread was started about OPs DH not getting a card for her from his daughters. Your asking why their mother hasn’t been vilified. It’s hardly relevant to the thread. Is it?

Exactly my bloody point. The OP started the thread about a birthday card and all of a sudden she's been torn to pieces about "poor neglected children" as if it's her fault.