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Original poster

For wishIng my kids didn't live with me anymore?

145 replies

PlayingInPuddles · 10/03/2018 17:37

I have two sons aged 17 and 19. I can't stand living with them anymore. They're disrespectful, rude, messy, loud and generally unpleasant to live with.

They're completely wrecking my house. They don't get along and every few weeks they fight where holes get punched in the wall, stuff gets thrown all over (again finding walls, ruining floors etc), stuff gets smashed. In the latest incident the baby gate got ripped off the stairs resulting in the dog running up there today, pissing on my bed, ransacking the bins and shitting in one of the bedroons.

Apart from the violence they're disgustingly scruffy and pissed on the bathroom tiles and radiator (next to toilet) so much so that the grouting has been permantly discoloured. Their rooms are just disgusting shit holes with rotting food on the floors, sweet wrappers, mouldy dishes etc.

We live in what should be a nice house. 4 bedroomed detached, double garage - on the outside it looks lovely but inside it's an absolute shithole thanks to the two of them and I can't have people back here as it's a discrace.

I'm sick of living with them. I'm so fed up I feel like leaving them to it, burn the fucker down, you might as well.

I spend hours cleaning the bathrooms just for them to come in and within minutes piss all over it, leave skid marks all over the bog, soak towels and dump them in the sink or stinking on the floor. It's just pointless. I live in a shithole and I am powerless to do anything about it because they ignore me and don't give a shit.

I would bet £5k that I don't get even a card for Mother's Day either because they're so selfish they just don't give a fuck. Eldest never got me anything for Christmas ffs yet eagerly accepts his presents/money from me. I can't believe DH is still here, he's not their dad, i would've fucked off long ago.

OP posts:
Deshasafraisy · 10/03/2018 17:41

Give them a 6 months to move out.

Nanny0gg · 10/03/2018 17:44

Do you fund them in any way? If so, stop.

Do you wash, clean, of feed them? If so, stop.

Are they working or still in education?

If they are working, give them notice to find somewhere else to live.

DearTeddyRobinson · 10/03/2018 17:45

Fucking hell. Didn't it occur to you over the past 18 years to teach them to behave like civilised adults?
That is no way to behave. Are you charging them rent? I hope so. And I would press charges for criminal damage if they don't pay to repair the damage they caused.

TheTroutofNoCraic · 10/03/2018 17:46

CHANGE THE WIFI PASSWORD! That'll learn 'em!

Trills · 10/03/2018 17:47

You might enjoy this

BiologyMatters · 10/03/2018 17:48

The 19yo would certainly be moving out if he was mine. The 17yo would get nothing off me unless he could treat the house with respect.

Bananalanacake · 10/03/2018 17:48

I'm not sure if you can legally kick out the 17 year old. But has the 19 year old got a job. Could he move into a house share or be a lodger. Maybe they will stop fighting if one is gone.

Gide · 10/03/2018 17:49

Stop giving them money, cut off the WiFi. Don’t clean their areas/clothes. Don’t cook for them. Call the police next time they fight-criminal damage to house?! Fuck, they wouldn’t be in my house long!

15star · 10/03/2018 17:50

Agree with above. No Wi-Fi unless jobs done. Mobile phones cut off and no money. If 19 year old working he needs to move out or respect rules. I would even take their bedroom doors off until they can keep it tidy , no privacy if you can't respect the house

KimmySchmidt1 · 10/03/2018 17:50

You have two appalling children and a dog that isn’t house trained.

Who are you blaming? The dog?

IggyAce · 10/03/2018 17:51

Shape up or ship out. They are adults and need to start acting like it.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 10/03/2018 17:52

My God. How have they ended up like this? I pity the poor woman who ends up living with one of them.

Is there some sort of back story here OP? Have they been through trauma? Where is there father in all of this? Is the Dad around? Could they be sent to him?

You might want to call in SS re the 17 yo.

notapizzaeater · 10/03/2018 17:53

Cut everything off that you do, foods, cleaning, washing, money, WiFi until they treat you and the house with some respect

calzone · 10/03/2018 17:53

You are enabling them to be like this.

Sit them down.

Rules are:

Tidy and clean your rooms.
Treat me with respect.

This happens immediately or

  1. No money
  2. No wifi
  3. No food
  4. Move out

But you have to go ahead with what you say.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 10/03/2018 17:54

I think your DH needs to give you support in this, Dad or no. He is living in the same house as them and should be reading them the riot act.

Oysterbabe · 10/03/2018 17:55

That sounds fucking horrible. Can they go and live with their dad?

calzone · 10/03/2018 17:55

Once they have done the first things I posted they will

Cook once a week.
Do some housework.

Or they can leave.

missiondecision · 10/03/2018 17:57

Get calzone round to read the rules my

Snowysky20009 · 10/03/2018 17:57

How come they aren't house trained? (Including the dog in that)

Kitchenbound · 10/03/2018 17:57

Why are you blaming the mother? DSIS mothered all her kids the same - 1 girl and boy are beautiful and 1 boy is a shit that I dearly long to smack most days.

They start respecting you and the house or they move out and find out what the real world will do to them if they behave like that. Time for some tough love dear. To take it a step further i would be binning everything in those bedrooms - you want sheets and towels etc you best get a job and buy them yourself. But if you do that ftlog wear gloves 🤢

Fionne · 10/03/2018 17:58

Op, no wonder you sound at the end of your tether. What a nightmare. But what has been going on all these years that it’s like this now?

As for the dog. I’m sorry but It doesn’t sound as if it’s house trained properly.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 10/03/2018 17:58

Show them this thread.

IHaveBrilloHair · 10/03/2018 18:00

No, no, no.
I put my then 14yr old in care because of her behaviour.
I'd kick them both out immediately, living in fear is terrible.

mamahanji · 10/03/2018 18:00

I'm amazed that you can't kick out a 17 year old? I had my own flat at 16. My kids are young so no teenage experience but at that age they should be acting like adults.

Moving out is the best thing to make them grow up. Get them into the real world. They'll realise how shit they have treated you and taken it for granted once they have to do it all themselves in some tiny hovel they are skint paying for!

PsychoPumpkin · 10/03/2018 18:03

You’re letting them get away with this. One son is an adult and one is on the cusp of becoming an adult, the very least they can do is pull their weight around the house, and as they don’t seem to have the decency to do it off their own back you have to get tough with them.

Make them pay rent, don’t clean their rooms, don’t do their laundry, don’t cook for them.

If they can’t keep the communal areas clean then they get no WiFi. Let them know If they punch any more furniture/walls/eachother then they will have 8 weeks to find somewhere else to live.

You do not have to live like this, they are utterly taking the piss out of you and need their heads banging together!