Help! Creepy cat voyeur neighbour in my garden!

[TERFousBreakdown]

My neighbour's standing in my garden sporting a huge erection and watching a bunch of cats taking turns mating. He's obviously standing in my garden because there's some shrubbery blocking the view from his own house. See diagram.

The garden is technically communal in that I share it with the house next to mine - but not with his!

AIBU to call the police? I don't want a weird stranger and his boner in my shrubs! It's creepy!

Bucket of cold water. Neighbour not the cats.

Has he got his knob out?

I really thought this was going to be a thread about a cat spying on you through the window.

What? How long has he been there for you to do a diagram?

Get your phone out and video the dirty fucker, then phone the police.

Deffo pics or it never happened!!

I'm just going to be brave and tell him to fuck off out of my veggies myself, aren't I? I reckon it doesn't warrant a call, really.

Unfortunately for me, I'm not particularly confrontational.

Whaaaat. This can't be real! That is one niche fetish.

Is the erection visible? As in his penis us outside of his clothing?
I'm not sure you cab report for a bodily function unless his appendage is naked.

Could we have a pic of him?

Surely you'd shout at someone to get the fuck out of your garden, the dirty perve ?

I'd ring 101 and tell them. He might be up to this sort of thing in front of children!

He's been standing there for at least 30 minutes. That's when I got home. Neighbour still there, cats also still there. There's a whole bunch of them, them being cats in season and all.

What a weirdo.

Is he dressed??

It's not right is it. Does he know you are in your house? Do you feel unsafe? I'd try the non emergency police number, see what they suggest.

Set up up a webchat and tell him he's live on Mumsnet.
Or, just hold up your camera and pretend.

What time did he visit? Has he done it more than once?

Is one of them his cat ?

Doing unmentionables in the veggie patch? How did he manage to sort the cats then position himself in time for the feline frolics? Is he wearing an animal costume of some sort?

Right. Go now and say what the fuck do you think you're doing in my GARDEN?

Is it cat season again?

And, no, I'm not going to take a picture of him. Not in the UK, reasonably certain it's illegal around here to take pictures of people without their consent.

Then again, it's probably also illegal to make use of other people's gardens for the purposes of watching cat porn live ...

Bollocks