Help! Creepy cat voyeur neighbour in my garden!

[TERFousBreakdown]

My neighbour's standing in my garden sporting a huge erection and watching a bunch of cats taking turns mating. He's obviously standing in my garden because there's some shrubbery blocking the view from his own house. See diagram.

The garden is technically communal in that I share it with the house next to mine - but not with his!

AIBU to call the police? I don't want a weird stranger and his boner in my shrubs! It's creepy!

Delores makes a good point.

Is he dressed??

Cats Protection League would get him dressed. They're fanatical about neutering, although by the sounds of things the local branch to the OP have been a bit lax!

I think you are actually very good at confrontation.
Im also impressed that cats can keep it up for 30 minutes

Agree with calling police and quoting operation Takahe, that is very weird behaviour. Your neighbour doesn't go out at night and own a van by any chance??

Does he live alone?

Oh I missed where op said she's not in the uk. God there's some bloody weirdos around.

Like I said, I'm not currently in the UK, so I'm reasonably sure that I don't happen to live next to the cat killer.

Still very odd behaviour, though. I know whom I shall be phoning in a tip about if cats should go missing around here ...

My own, thank goodness, is an indoor cat (and spayed), so at least he won't be perving on her.

He really grosses me out!

And, yes, I was also quite saddened at the number of cats. There must have been at least seven toms and a couple of queens around half an hour ago. Why on earth don't people get their pets fixed? It costs virtually nothing and takes care of the overpopulation issue like a charm!

Hawkmoth

Does he live alone?

I have a feline that he probably does. He sounds quite the catch.

He prob watches Shark Porn as well

In what country in the world is it legal to stand on your neighbour's lawn and wank? Maybe one where there are no children?

This is...comical but creepy at the same time.

Do you live with a partner? I'd inform the neighbours with a shared garden and make sure he knows if he does it again police will be dialled. Weird behaviour can escalate.

Any children nearby?

Get a nerf gun full of soapy water and Spritz the filthy tomcat....

The neighbour I mean, not the feline one.

Tons of kids around. It's a typical middle-class neighbourhood, not a very close-knit community either because quite a few of us are expats or professionals working insane hours and travelling a lot or both.

Good point about speaking to the people that share the garden, though. They're a lovely local family with two young children - I'd hate for the kids to run into cat perv in action. And they do play in the garden.

I do get that it's quite comical in a sense. TBH, if this had happened to a friend I'd probably be in stitches. Seeing as he went about his ... erm ... business in my garden, though, I have to say it felt oddly violating.

Yeah best not take a picture. He'll probably call the police and tell them you took a picture of him wanking in your garden.

Sorry OP. Missed that you weren’t in the UK

I’m not encouraging to do that to tickle our curiosity but I think you’re well within your rights to take the photo of your garden and someone perving in it! Mainly so that you can show police that.

By showing the police I don’t mean to protects cats modesty (although I think it’s awful he objectofies them like that) but as you said there are kids around.

Id buy a super soaker ready for any further occasions, and give him all barrels! I'd also seriously consider either knocking on his door or putting a note through his door saying that if he ever does that in your garden again you will call the police.

I'm laughing at the "is he dressed" I'm imagining a wee gimp mask and a ball gag from pets at home

Please call the police.

Seeing as he went about his ... erm ... business in my garden, though, I have to say it felt oddly violating.

Well he was on your property uninvited and is clearly not right in the head, so it's not suprising.

Definitely let the family next door know (not sure how I'd begin that conversation ), and maybe speak to local police to find out what you can legally do if it happens again?

Poor cats! Poor you! That would undoubtedly ruin my Saturday night 😷

This thread is the purr-fect opportunity for some cat puns.