Help! Creepy cat voyeur neighbour in my garden!

[TERFousBreakdown]

My neighbour's standing in my garden sporting a huge erection and watching a bunch of cats taking turns mating. He's obviously standing in my garden because there's some shrubbery blocking the view from his own house. See diagram.

The garden is technically communal in that I share it with the house next to mine - but not with his!

AIBU to call the police? I don't want a weird stranger and his boner in my shrubs! It's creepy!

your neighbour is a cat rapist! (The Thick of It reference )
Are tou sure he has an erection?

@BeanFobbedOff, I hadn't thought of that but, yes, now that I think of it I believe one of the queens may be his.

Still not okay for him to watch her from my garden, though.

He's fully dressed but wearing pyjama bottoms and a clearly visible erection. Hands in pockets ... I don't even want to know. It's gross!

I think a call to the police non emergency number would be ok. Are you in London / Surrounds? If so, report under operation

And, yes, I'm sure about the erection. He's um ... rather well endowed.

Hold my hand, I'm about to take my phone and ask his consent to film him and post it to Mumsnet unless he feels inclined to go watch out of my sight.

Sorry, posted too soon. Operation Takahe. You never know!

The lengths some men will go to for pussy ...

Unless the landowner objects, you can film/take pictures in public, no law against it. Go out and scatter the cats. Got a nerfgun/super soaker? Accidentally get him!

You have the right to take photos of your own garden. If he ends up in the photo, so be it. I can’t imagine ANY country saying you can’t take a photo of an intruder. That’s just daft.

Oh wow. I need to know how this pans out. Op do come back and let us know 😂

I went to a talk in a science festival by a therapist who treated people with fetishes they wanted to overcome. One was a guy who kept flashing himself to big dogs. I have always wondered why big dogs only.....

In fact, we definitely need pictures. Do it.

If you have a hose I'd spray him with it then say "Oops was aiming for the cats." Then just walk back inside.

Can't see the erection on that diagram OP.

Crikey

This is not the thread I thought it was going to be

Just bang on the window and gesture for him to get out.

Well that didn't turn out to be what I thought!!!

Well, that was ... anticlimactic (for him as well, I suppose ):

I gathered my courage and ventured out onto my patio, fully prepared to threaten him with my phone camera and if need be, the police.

Got as far as 'erm ... excuse me' and off he ran and disappeared into his own house.

On the upside: the cat perv is no longer standing in my garden.

On the downside: I think I may have to move house. That's definitely NOT the kind of thing I've ever wanted to know about the people who live in my neighbourhood. That man's been to some of our street parties.

boak

I’m amazed cats keep shagging for 30 mins.

If you live in the southeast report this.

Cat killer out there somewhere and police want to kno about people behaving oddly around cats I think that's odd.

Excellent diagram.

I have nothing more to add as it's just too weird.

Hhahahahaha me too!

What the actual.....?

Poor cats..more kittens coming in the world ,where there's plenty needing homes already...why can't people get their cats spade

If you live in the southeast report this.

I had the same thought; but OP says she's not in the U.K. earlier in the thread.

Glad he's gone, OP. This thread has made me laugh.