Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

[TuscanMum]

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

Fair enough. So you’d refuse anaesthetic if it’s optional and possible to do without?

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Not on a blanket basis. Obviously it depends on a number of factors.

She's thankful to God? That's nice. I'm grateful to the NHS for giving me an emergency C-section and safely delivering my baby.

I'm proud of myself for getting through the following days of being wheeled to NICU every four hours to feed him because I couldn't walk yet. I'm proud of myself for caring for an infant while recovering from major abdominal surgery and the resulting infection. By all means this woman should be grateful that she was lucky but it shouldn't be a matter of pride.

I inadvertently had a natural birth due to hospital staff incompetence. Even the gas and air was empty. It was a horrific, medieval experience. Why are women made to feel that lack of pain relief in labour is something to aspire to and feel proud of? Nobody would want to have their appendix out without an anaesthetic. It's madness that more thought is given to pain relief when having a tooth out than it is when delivering a baby. If it was men who gave birth there would be no glorification of doing it 'naturally'.

If it was men who gave birth there would be no glorification of doing it 'naturally'.

DP says if men gave birth everyone would have cesareans lmao. I agree completely. It’s only women who have this weird “im better because my birth was more painful”.

If it was men who gave birth there would be no glorification of doing it 'naturally

How do you know that? Another poster said similar: if it were men, they'd be no competition.

I find these theories bizarre. And that's all they are theories - (that men are more sensible and kind than women presumably)

Also, let's not forget where the idea of competitive endurance tests hasn't demonstrated the most resilience: amongst men of a fertile age. I think we get the idea from them, actually.

Sorry, has demonstrated.

I think it’s the strength thing that is offensive. It implies that if other women were stronger they wouldn’t need interventions like c-sections. If she’d have said she felt lucky that the she had no complications I doubt anyone would have had an issue with it as it is purely down to luck.

It’s becayse generally men support each other while generally women backstab other women.

Of course you get snakes everywhere, but those are general rules and fit with my experience.

It’s becayse generally men support each other while generally women backstab other women

Riight

It’s becayse generally men support each other while generally women backstab other women

You’ve never had those experiences or witnessed it? Women areole complex with social relationships. It’s all socialised, not innate, but sadly it’s there.

Are more*

I am immensely proud of myself, not because I had a natural birth with g&a but because I managed to give birth full stop!

I have friends who had c sections who have said they feel a lesser woman. That's really sad and NOT true!

I privately congratulate myself but I certainly wouldn't gloat about it online. However I think this particular lady just phrased it badly - it was too open to interpretation, clearly!

I had surgery this week. Not a c/s. But as I was waiting to go to theatre, absolutely shitting myself, I thought about women who have a c/s and felt for them.

And when I was lying in bed moaning about how much my stomach hurt when I got home, my husband went ‘well you’ve experienced the equivalent of being stabbed. Twice. No wonder you’re sore’ (I had two incisions).

Everything about becoming a mum, birthing and caring for a baby, is hard and requires strength. 💐💐💐💐

I was absolutely terrified of child birth for years after a silly comment my mum made when I was a girl.
I had an open minded and wasn’t adverse to any pain relief going. But as delivery day neared all the pain relief to me sounded equally scary.
Anyway I had no complications and was lucky enough to have two natural births which I was really pleased and proud about about especially with all my doubts in myself and fears.
But I wouldn’t have dreamed of putting anything on social media.
Another friend desperately wanted a natural birth but had complications so couldn’t do this in the end she felt so guilty she got off to a bad start with motherhood she also wanted to Breast Fred but couldn’t due to severe mastitis. She felt so guilty about both things she beat herself up and felt inadequate and she wouldn’t go to any playgroups or mother and toddler groups for a long time as she said she felt judged. We shouldn’t judge other women either way.

But OP, give that woman a pass. Something about new motherhood turns some people into idiots. She’ll probably want to punch herself in the face in a few months time when she remembers saying that.

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I've experienced it, I just don't think it's only women doing it.

It’s not only women, it just seems to be women more often. Perhaps I’m biased because growing up I often had women being like this but rarely men.

I agree with you, Op, it comes across as smug patronising & braggy all in one go.
As is the case with many comments, often on social media, those posting such things don't see the 'hidden negatives' in their positive comments.
I don't think it's to do with strength, it's to do with luck. However you've been delivered of a child is fine and worthy of praise.

You’ve never had those experiences or witnessed it? Women areole complex with social relationships. It’s all socialised, not innate, but sadly it’s there

I've never once thought men are better, kinder or less competitive than women, no.

I had one and it was pure, blind luck. And my DS would be awesome either way so I’ve no idea why it would matter how he got here.

To be honest, the OP's statement does make me feel like shit. We all know the story - long labour, baby stuck, failure to progress, pre-existing medical conditions, breech, triplets, whatever the reason. Women who need C-sections are no weaker than women who have a natural birth. If anything, they are stronger. It's incredibly prejudiced and down right hurtful. If she is thankful to God for it, maybe someone should tell her just how out of order it is (not on social media, but face to face) so that she realises that it's hurtful to others. I bet she doesn't even realise it.

I'm glad I had vaginal births. Not because I'm smug however, because the thought of having a section terrified me! Perhaps that's what the lassie meant?

IMO a mother that gives birth via section is very brave and strong. My sister had two sections and