Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

[TuscanMum]

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

I had two emergency c-sections too. If I had had natural births I would have been proud of myself too (but I wouldn’t have put anything on social media). I did feel a failure at the time and stuff like this would have bothered me back then. But I’m over it now. I’m alive and the kids are alive and that’s what matters. Birth is dangerous and we would have died if it weren’t for medical intervention, so I’m strong too, and so are you, we survived what once would have killed us and our babies.

I see thankful to God/#blessed and don't bother reading any further. You can guarantee the rest will be drivel.

The reference to god and the use of the word ‘strength’ - very irritating and smug.

The inference is, another woman would not have had a natural birth, because she is not strong enough.

I praise every woman who births a child, and some experience greater levels of trauma and pain than others.

Maybe she should have said, I am thankful that my birth experience was straight-forward enough to tolerate without any intervention - I know others are not so lucky.

Birth shaming

Oh do me a favour, that’s not even a thing.

Yes it is a thing.

Women who have C-sections and have never had a vaginal birth, can be VERY smug about one certain thing though. Something I will not mention on here as it may sound bitchy. I think you can all probably guess what it is A pooch?

Women who have C-sections and have never had a vaginal birth, can be VERY smug about one certain thing though. Something I will not mention on here as it may sound bitchy. I think you can all probably guess what it is.

I actually think that is a disgusting comment. I'm a woman who has had a vaginal birth, not a woman who has ever tried to make any woman who needed a c-section feel bad in any way at all, and you think, for some reason, it's appropriate to make veiled allusions to my damaged vagina? Charming.

i have had 3 C-sections and no vaginal delivery so yeah, my vagina isn't stretched and my pelvic floor is ok - not great though.
however, i have an attractive C-section "gunt" or apron which hangs down and looks vile. the result of having my abdominal muscles cut open several times.

Nothing to crow about from my point of view.

my friend is a surgeon & CS’s don’t necessarily protect you from incontinence or prolapse. Pregnancy alone can be damaging, the babies positioning & when your CS takes place all influence it.

There's no such thing as '' Natural Dentistry '' so why advocate natural childbirth. Why suffer when you dont have to.

there actually is natural dentistry. There is even surgery without anaethesia or pain killers.

I find both irritating. The first is like congratulating yourself for be able to shit. It’s a natural process, it didn’t go wrong for you, get over yourself. The second is oversensitive as of every stupid thing a woman says must be a dog at someone else rather than an attempt to reassure herself over her own sense of inadequacy.

It's no biggie going through childbirth without painrelief

I've had four c sections and I'm not offended by it. Labour is tiring and requires a lot of strength( I've gone through labour twice so 2 c sections were emergency).
I think that's all that was meant by the comment. I would also be proud of having a natural labour if I had been able to have one. I think though she may have been a bit naive about the reasons why people have c sections. I don't think it was meant in a goady way.

I was proud with myself on DC3 that I didn't swear a blue streak at the first responder when she arrived without any gas and air. or at the midwife who arrive an hour and a half after DC3 leaving me with a retained placenta having told the ambulance crews she'd be there within twenty minutes of them calling her. Or when she then screwed up our paperwork when we finally were taken into hospital which meant the numbers on my band didn't match the ones on DC3s and we had to stay in hospital longer. Very proud of myself for not kicking off over that.

Sweetpea55

Perhaps not for you. What makes you think you can speak for anyone else?

I had one fairly disastrous VB - won't call it a natural birth, there was nothing natural about it - and one ELCS so I have a ruined vagina and a CS pooch. #blessed

I thank god my obstetrician spotted my internal tear that went through to my bowel so I didn't end up shitting out my fanny. The obstetrician who saved me and DD's lives and my continence that day can be proud if they want. I just lay there.

MuddyForestWalks

And that's fine. But I didn't just lie there. I spent four hours pushing my DD out, thinking for a long time that I wasn't going to be able to do it. But I did do it, and it took more effort than anything else I have ever attempted. So I feel proud. What is wrong with that?

People can be proud of what they like, no skin off my nose.

However the idea that someone had a natural birth because of their 'strength' seems nuts to me. Mums who have caesarians usually do so because of medical necessity. Suggesting they could have avoided it by being 'stronger' is clueless and stupid.

ohnomoresnow - my friend (who had a vaginal birth) jokingly said she was jealous because I am "Honeymoon Fresh" down there if that is what you are referring to of course .....

Jeez. I was being flippant. I actually knelt upright with no pain relief pushing DD for 2 hours before she went into distress because she had turned her head, got well and truly stuck when she was nearly out, and I had an emergency spinal and last ditch forceps with a view to an EMCS using forceps to pull her back up if that didn't work. I also didn't say you couldn't be proud. Wind yer neck in.

MuddyForestWalks

I inferred from your comment that you agreed with those who think women shouldn't feel proud after having birth naturally. Excuse me if that wasn't the correct inference, but I didn't read it as flippant at all. And I will respond if I like, not 'wind my neck' anywhere. Public forum and all that!

Read back what I wrote. All I said was that I was damaged from both types of birth and that my obstetrician can be proud. Nothing whatsoever to do with birthing women.

Interesting that you think your pride in your achievement shouldn't make anyone else feel bad, but you take exception to me saying the obstetrician can be proud of theirs as you assume incorrectly that it belittles you.

If someone is proud of how they coped with any type of delivery, then great for them, genuinely. I am not proud. My two deliveries were scary as fuck and both left me damaged and ill, nothing to be proud of, just best forgotten and not repeated frankly.

MuddyForestWalks

That's fine. I misinterpreted what you said. And of course the obstetrician can be proud - why would I give a toss about that?