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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waitress bringing the bill

131 replies

AnotherPlaceAnotherTime · 10/03/2018 06:57

I took my DM out for a meal last night for Mother’s Day. We went to a small local Italian restaurant (not a chain).

Instead of dessert my DM said that she would have a glass of wine. The wine was brought together with the bill. I’m a complete conflict avoider so didn’t say anything l. My DM felt rushed and left half of the wine.

The restaurant was busy but we’d only been there an hour. AIBU to think this is really bad customer service?

OP posts:
AlonsoTigerHeart · 10/03/2018 07:00

It's not great but there's was no need to go before you were ready.

Cheby · 10/03/2018 07:02

YANBU, that’s dreadful customer service. You may have wanted coffees or more drinks etc later.

I do think you were a bit silly to leave the drink though, bill or not there was no reason you couldn’t have stayed to finish it.

Lots of restaurants have a 2hr limit on tables, but if you’d only been there an hour you were well short of that.

AlonsosLeftPinky · 10/03/2018 07:02

I'd have no issue with it but I tend to get a bit irritated at the end of a meal by having to get someone's attention to ask for the bill etc.

I wouldn't have rushed though.

Saz1995 · 10/03/2018 07:02

That's pretty rude, I would have drank the wine slowly hehe

MaryBread · 10/03/2018 07:24

Bad service but you had no need to rush. Put the bill to one side, continue chat and wine. Simple.
My friends and I can be a good 20mins chatting at a restaurant table after we've received a bill we asked for. Unless it's busy obviously then we'd not want to keep others waiting for our table.

MrsRhubarb · 10/03/2018 07:25

I would have been delighted, but we tend to ask for the bill with dessert so that we can leave at our own leisure. Nothing kills a lovely meal out more than spending ages trying desperately to get someone's attention so you can pay them. She definitely should have finished her wine.

Peachyking000 · 10/03/2018 07:27

This happened to us recently. The bill was also handed to my dad, which was embarrassing as I had invited the whole family out and I wanted to pay. I gave the restaurant some feedback on this, via Facebook. Didn’t want to make a fuss at the time, but equally would prefer it not to happen again

blueskypink · 10/03/2018 07:30

No idea why that would make anyone feel rushed and that they couldn't finish their drink. Wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest. Presumably they asked you if you wanted anything else, you said no and they thought they might as well let you have the bill to deal with when you were ready.

If they hadn't asked, I'd have been tempted to order another coffee or something just to show they'd been a bit ahead of themselves!

beluga425 · 10/03/2018 07:31

It's very rude if you had not asked for the bill. I'd have felt rushed too but would never leave my wine Grin

Eminybob · 10/03/2018 07:34

It’s not great that they brought the bill out without you asking, but I wouldn’t have felt rushed, I would have enjoyed the wine and paid the bill in my own time.

surroundedbyblondes · 10/03/2018 07:34

Was it also that she would have liked her drink at the same time as you had your desserts so she was sat without anything while you ate.

NorthernKnickers · 10/03/2018 07:38

Absolutely your decision to leave! Why did you? I'm not understanding the problem to be honest...so, you were given the bill, but you weren't being physically evicted 🙄

bricksareheavy · 10/03/2018 07:39

I wonder the person serving you got confused and gave you the bill when it was someone else’s table that asked for their bill?

I can’t recall ever being given a bill prior to asking, nor have I ever issued a customer’s bill before they asked for it when I worked as a waitress.. it sounds like this was a mistake.

Did you say anything when they came to take the money?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/03/2018 07:40

It's a shame that you felt rushed, but I don't really see that you needed to. It can be a bit of a pain trying to get someone to bring the bill.

Not as bad as what happened to us in a high-end London restaurant, where we were treating 2 couples we hardly ever see. Waiter brought the bill (as requested) and then read out the total to Dh - out loud! Since it was our treat and the bill was pretty steep, it was awkward all round. We had never known such a thing.
Dh, who is not in general a complainer, phoned to complain the following day, and received an abject apology. Management was evidently as appalled as we were.

TERFragetteCity · 10/03/2018 07:40

I've been in restaurants where they bring your bill and update it with each item added...I can't understand you rushing out like that. It just means you are free to leave when you want and you don't have to hang around asking for the bill.

Fekko · 10/03/2018 07:40

I wouldn't have rushed and if I'd been considering coffee or something else would have said 'oh I'm not ready for the bill'.

If they were busy they probably were eyeing the table and assumed you were winding up. The manager probably told the waiting staff to try to move customers out after their meal.

WineIsTheAnswer · 10/03/2018 07:46

I prefer this. Once the meals over and it's clear your not ordering anymore I prefer the bill to be brought and left for whenever we are ready. Saves the catching their eye and doing that weird, over exaggerated "can I have the bill" mime.

TheJoyOfSox · 10/03/2018 07:47

I don’t understand why you felt rushed and left before finishing.
DH and I will often linger over a glass of brandy or dessert etc even after the bill has come to the table.
You had no conflict, you simply had the bill on the table. I think you over reacted by rushing off.

Peanutbuttercups21 · 10/03/2018 07:49

Oh, I like getting the bill quickly. I would have left it lying on the table until I was ready to pay though.

Fairylea · 10/03/2018 07:51

It is rude of them. I’ve worked in restaurant management my whole life, mainly in very busy west end restaurants in London and I always trained staff never to bring the bill over until it was asked for. The only exception was if the table had been occupied for far, far longer than was reasonable (I’m talking a couple making a coffee last 3 hours, that sort of thing). It’s far more important that people go away having had a good experience and being overbooked than it is rushing people who go away saying it was a bad experience and they felt rushed.

stayathomer · 10/03/2018 07:53

I feel very old doing the 'it's so sad what they do nowadays thing', but I don't go to restaurants often and am always struck that it's assumed that you can't just have a leisurely meal and dessert/coffee. They're ready to get oyou out from the moment you come in

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 10/03/2018 07:56

Really bad service! They should have waited until you asked for the bill, it just looks like they were trying to hurry you out.

TheJoyOfSox · 10/03/2018 07:56

Whilst I respect your opinion @Fairylea, I disagree that it’s rude to have the bill bought to the table before the customer requests it. As I said in pp, DH and I will linger with our drinks and the bill on the table until we are ready to leave.

It’s so nice to have the bill on the table rather than doing the “can I have the bill mime ” as @wineistheanswer quite rightly says.

Raisinbrain · 10/03/2018 07:57

It wouldn't have occurred to me to feel rushed, I would have just carried on relaxed and enjoyed the wine content in the knowledge that I wasn't going to have to wait for ages to get the bill when I wanted it.

Over here in Australia they clear your plate as soon as you've finished regardless of whether everyone else has. That pisses me off no end.

Original poster
AnotherPlaceAnotherTime · 10/03/2018 07:57

I just felt like it was a clear signal that we’d outstayed our welcome.

It’s happened before (mainly in restaurants in the US) but the waitress has always made a point of saying that she was bringing it to pay at our convenience and there’s no rush. I don’t feel awkward in that situation.

The woman last night just put the bill on the table without a word.

A meal out is a fairly rare treat for me.

OP posts: