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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waitress bringing the bill

131 replies

AnotherPlaceAnotherTime · 10/03/2018 06:57

I took my DM out for a meal last night for Mother’s Day. We went to a small local Italian restaurant (not a chain).

Instead of dessert my DM said that she would have a glass of wine. The wine was brought together with the bill. I’m a complete conflict avoider so didn’t say anything l. My DM felt rushed and left half of the wine.

The restaurant was busy but we’d only been there an hour. AIBU to think this is really bad customer service?

OP posts:
squoosh · 10/03/2018 12:54

In restaurant dp and I pay separately, this is utter fuckery according to some on mn

Not sure about 'utter fuckery' but yeah I would find it strange if a couple (in a relationship rather than out on a first date) paid separately.

MrsFezziwig · 10/03/2018 12:55

Just returned from the USA - it’s quite normal for the bill to be brought in this way, doesn’t mean they are expecting you to leap up and leave. I would prefer it to be the norm here as well as it means you don’t have to end the meal by hunting someone down, first to get the bill and then to pay - again I don’t take it as a sign that they are expecting you to leave, and even if it was I wouldn’t take any notice.

lakeshoreliving · 10/03/2018 12:57

In the US bringing the bill without being asked is totally normal.
I once had Spanish lessons for a move to a Latin American country and was told that I would have to ask for the bill as it would be considered rude for them just to bring it. I told the tutor that this was also considered rude in the UK unless it was a chain type of place.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:01

We pay individually because that is no joint acc,and yes we are a couple
If bill was £40,we not split £20 each,we’d both pay our respective share
Apparently it’s weird,and will cause staff consternation. I’m rl no such reaction.Only on mn

blastomama · 10/03/2018 13:02

No in RL people think its weird too, they just don't say so.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:03

not in least,only amongst the effete easily spooked crew on mn

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:06

I agree with unihorn,I like to receive bill promptly and leave at own pace
Most folk I know pay individually when out with partner or friends,it’s normative in my social group
Occasionally in a couple one will present the joint card as payment

blastomama · 10/03/2018 13:07

The people on MN also exist in RL. So, you're wrong.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:08

I’m not wrong in the least.i simply don’t get this strangled notion of etiquette and joint monies

blastomama · 10/03/2018 13:11

Of course you are. By very definition you are wrong. If people on MN think its weird and those people also exist in real life, then people in real life think its weird.
There is no possibility for you not to be wrong on that point.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:14

I beg to differ.i think often mn bears no relation to rl.so no I’m not wrong,at all

MotherofaSurvivor · 10/03/2018 13:15

Funnylittle 'Shovelling down Cous-Cous...?' What a horrible choice of words? You 'shovel' food in a restaurant?

blastomama · 10/03/2018 13:15

You categorically are.
Do you think the thousands of women on MN only exist in your computer screen? You do realise they are actual people?

expatinscotland · 10/03/2018 13:17

Yeah, there's no need to leave right away. But the place that brought you your coats, wow!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:18

I’m not beholden to the vagaries of mn etiquette regard finances,so no I’m categorically not wrong

pinkginanyone · 10/03/2018 13:19

What time was the bill brought at? Ppl in hospitality don’t realise that tills have to be cashed at the end of the night, that’s usually around 30 mins before closure maybe more depending on the system.

I think it’s fair enough especially if you refused dessert, tea/coffee etc could have been added on.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:19

I don’t think it is rude to bring a bill without it being requested,it’s not a universally accepted misdemeanour

blastomama · 10/03/2018 13:20

I’m not beholden to the vagaries of mn etiquette regard finances,so no I’m categorically not wrong

You are. I did not say that you were wrong about how you choose to do your finances. AS clearly explained, I said you are wrong that only on mn do people find it weird and not in RL. Since the people in RL and the people on MN are the same people, you are utterly and completely wrong on that point. It is not possibly for you to be right.

flowerslemonade · 10/03/2018 13:22

I'd like a restaurant where you can pay the table by cash or card

Celebelly · 10/03/2018 13:23

I actually would like this as there's nothing worse than trying to get the bill when you want to leave and not being able to get anyone's attention! I would have just finished the wine as normal and then paid and left. I don't think it would even have registered with me as being unusual, tbh.

iBiscuit · 10/03/2018 13:23

That was shit service. At a push it's ok to bring the bill if a table declines coffee or another drink, but to bring it with dessert is bollocks.

starzig · 10/03/2018 13:25

Fantastic idea flowers

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 13:26

Why is it bollocks?is the bill only to be presented on request?The wait on bill game

LemonysSnicket · 10/03/2018 13:28

How did they know you were finished ordering? Ridiculous

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/03/2018 13:29

Oh ffs. If my dad gets given the bill I just whisk it away if I'm paying. I really wonder how some on here manage to get through life. Confused

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