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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waitress bringing the bill

131 replies

AnotherPlaceAnotherTime · 10/03/2018 06:57

I took my DM out for a meal last night for Mother’s Day. We went to a small local Italian restaurant (not a chain).

Instead of dessert my DM said that she would have a glass of wine. The wine was brought together with the bill. I’m a complete conflict avoider so didn’t say anything l. My DM felt rushed and left half of the wine.

The restaurant was busy but we’d only been there an hour. AIBU to think this is really bad customer service?

OP posts:
BothersomeCrow · 10/03/2018 09:32

I'd assume minor cock-up rather than rudeness or any intent to get you to leave. IME restaurants which need to turn the table around are very good at reminding you around dessert time when they need you out by, and it's still never felt rushed.

Grace789 · 10/03/2018 09:34

I wouldn't have minded, there's nothing worse then having to wait an extra half hour trying to get someone's attention to get the bill.

rothbury · 10/03/2018 09:37

I don't understand why you felt rushed Confused I wouldn't have thought anything of it.

Why did DM only drink half her wine? You might have decided to stay longer and have coffees etc and then they would have just brought another bill, no big deal at all.

Wishiwasholsk · 10/03/2018 09:42

It seems to be one of those marmite issues!

How you handled it wasn’t a normal response.

OP how do you get through life without being constantly offended? Confused

Sevendown · 10/03/2018 09:45

I’d rather this than trying to get someone’s attention to get the bill and having to wait when we want to leave.

lottiegarbanzo · 10/03/2018 10:05

I'd welcome the efficiency. Sounds like it was clear you'd ordered everything you wanted. It saved you having to get their attention again. No need to rush at all.

Original poster
AnotherPlaceAnotherTime · 10/03/2018 10:12

wish I’m not constantly offended. I wasn’t offended by this. I just thought it was poor customer service and felt like they wanted me out of the door.

Who defines what is normal anyway? Smile

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 10/03/2018 10:15

I think maybe in 'old-fashioned times' bills were brought right at the very end and presented to someone (usually senior man) as part of a performance of discretion and the not-niceness of talking about money.

It used to be (in even more old-fashioned times and perhaps only up-market places) that Ladies' Menus didn't show prices.

So, if you Mum is used to that sort of 'don't want to trouble you about money but how lovely one of you has offered to pay now' approach, I can see why she might have felt she was being rushed.

These days I think there just isn't the 'shame about talking about money - and accompanying largesse' performance. We all know what the meal costs. One or more people are going to pay. They can sort out who, amongst themselves. Bill on the table, no fuss.

ScreamingValenta · 10/03/2018 10:16

I'm another who prefers the bill to arrive unasked, rather than spend the end of the meal in meerkat mode trying to 'catch the waiter's eye'.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 10:40

Was the meal nice? I think it’s an interpretation issue,I wouldn’t tend to see it as a go now signal
I’d have finished at my own pace.
id imagine it was simply giving the bill and unintended result was you felt rushed

Fruitcocktail6 · 10/03/2018 10:41

I just thought it was poor customer service and felt like they wanted me out of the door.

So what though! Finish your wine.

TamaraDrankMyMilk · 10/03/2018 10:47

I was out with a friend, we not only chatted to the waitress, she left us twice to get bills paid at the only 2 other tables remaining, then returned to us. She was from Venezuela and was marvelling at the sow we had just experienced!

We had already paid but were still chatting ourselves.

We then asked a waiter what time they closed. He said 10pm and when we looked it was 10.20. We looked really alarmed and the chap said, no rush we are still clearing down other tables which they were, so we're not kicking you out.

Lovely restaurant will be going back with Dh and the children.

I feel I would deliberately ask for a coffee if they had already brought the bill to me Grin

There have been busy times when we have been told in other restaurants that you can only have the table for 2 hours which is plenty of time.

CuboidalSlipshoddy · 10/03/2018 11:25

I just thought it was poor customer service

How is bringing you the bill at the end of the meal, without your needing to hassle them, "poor customer service?" I would put it firmly in "excellent customer service" and, if I wanted another coffee, they'd just amend the bill.

Your mother deciding to leave half her wine is simply irrational. Bringing the bill does not, in any world, mean "please leave".

BrendasUmbrella · 10/03/2018 11:26

Whenever a restaurant bill thread comes up I'm always reminded of the girl who proudly stated she always paid for meals out with her partner, but added that she would furtively hand him the money under the table so he could be seen to pay. Otherwise his willy would have dropped off.

(My assumption, but I assume hers and his as well? Anyway, I hope they're doing okay and that he still has the full complement of male genitalia!)

MissMary0fSweden · 10/03/2018 11:37

Another who would see it as good service, not bad.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 11:38

In restaurant dp and I pay separately, this is utter fuckery according to some on mn
We use our separate cards or cash and pay individually

Somtamthai · 10/03/2018 12:30

First time this happened to me I felt the same as did my gran.

Now I love it because wait staff seem to dissapear off the face of the Earth when I want to pay!🤣.

I hope you and your mum enjoyed the meal :).

blastomama · 10/03/2018 12:33

I just felt like it was a clear signal that we’d outstayed our welcome

That was just you though, the waitress didnt do or say anything to imply that.
You could have left the bill on the table for another hour, you could have ordered more.
You made up an issue when there wasn't one.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 12:36

I really dislike the fey deference and attitude to paying a bill in some restaurants
The apologetic way the bill is presented as if merely talking about money is dirty
I prefer bill to arrive promptly and then I pay when I’m ready to, instead of seeking staff to present bill to me

BrendasUmbrella · 10/03/2018 12:37

In restaurant dp and I pay separately, this is utter fuckery according to some on mn

Just in case you were referring to my comment, this girl paid for the whole bill, she just couldn't pay for it openly because it would have been devastatingly emasculating, apparently.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 12:43

No,just a general comment.last restaurant thread I remarked we paid individually
Told It’s weird, and will upset the staff apparently. And surely no one does this really

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 10/03/2018 12:44

Pressed too soon Brenda ,laughed at your post it was funny.

starzig · 10/03/2018 12:45

I wish all restaurants would do this. I prefer to get my bill with the last course and they have sometimes run off before you have a chance to ask.

Unihorn · 10/03/2018 12:51

I work for a restaurant and our policy changed to bringing the bill automatically with dessert/presumed last round of drinks instead of waiting for people to ask. This was following numerous surveys and poor feedback about long waits for bills and to pay.

I can't see how you can ever view this as bad customer service unless you were given the bill and told to pay immediately..? We always drop the bill and say something along the lines of, it's here when you're ready/let me know if you want to add anything/there's no rush etc. I can't see how anyone can get annoyed by this convenience!

melj1213 · 10/03/2018 12:51

I used to live in Spain and it is entirely normal for the bill to be left on the table at the end of the meal. There's no expectation that you leave immediately but it just means you can pay at your convenience without the waitress having to make a separate trip back to the table. If you ask for anything else they just bring a new bill with the new items and take the old one away.