Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was dd being unreasonable not to give up best seat for old man?

391 replies

deno · 09/03/2018 18:53

DD1 is in her first year at uni in London, studying politics, and regularly attends talks given by politicians at different universities/lecture halls across London.

She was attending a talk by a Lib Dem MP at Queen Mary's - she'd been to the lecture theatre there before, so knew where the speaker would sit, and where in the lecture theatre she needed to sit to have the best view - the aisle seats on the left hand side of the centre block of seats. She got there very early, was the first in, and sat down in the nearest to the front aisle seat on that side of the room.

A few minutes later, an old man walks in, and looks like he wants to sit in the same row, so DD stands up to let him past her. But instead of walking past, he says to her, "Aren't you going to move up then?". She says that she wants the aisle seat, and he replies, "Well, I was hoping to sit there." She points out that she is happy to let him get past her into the same row, or the aisle seat in the row behind is available, but he starts insisting that his eyesight is too bad and sitting one foot further back will mean he won't be able to see.

At this point, DD sat down and just stopped talking to him. He huffed loudly and sat down in the row behind her, and then kept muttering to himself about how awful young people these days are, until the talk started.

Was DD being unreasonable not to give up the best seat to the old man?

OP posts:
GaraMedouar · 09/03/2018 21:47

She was not being unreasonable.

ohnomoresnow · 09/03/2018 21:48

It's nothing to do with fucking patriarchy or "do as you're told woman..."

Some people think the OP's DD should have moved................because she is young and the man was old.

And a few people think she should have moved...............Because she is a woman and he is a man.

Do what you're told little girl. Know your place. Hmm

He was a rude entitled git. Simple as. End of.

The young woman did NOTHING wrong. The younger generation owe the baby boomers FUCK ALL.

It was about basic manners

If THAT is the case, why did this old man EXPECT the young lady to move? Why should SHE have to move? Why? because he is an older man.... Bore off! Hmm As I said, she owed him nothing, and he was entitled to nothing.

As I said, rude entitled old git. THAT is what he was! And as had been said, he managed to get himself across town alone. There was fuck-all wrong with his 'eyesight.'

@bluelady

My son is nice, he would have given him the seat

Whoop de bastard fucking doo! Bully for your 'nice' son. Hmm

CynthiaRothrock · 09/03/2018 21:49

@thenavigator at what point did he turf her out? For that to happen he would of ended up with the seat and this would of been an entirely different thread....

marylou1977 · 09/03/2018 21:49

She was not unreasonable. I once went to the movies very early and chose my seat. The second person in the theater came up to me and told me I was in her seat. There were 200 other seats! I didn’t move either.

DevilsDoorbell · 09/03/2018 21:49

He was rude. I wonder if he’d have spoken to an older man in the same way.

NataliaOsipova · 09/03/2018 21:50

I always tend to find i agree with Natalie.
Natalie what's your view on celery?

StealthPolarBear Grin I can't tell you what a pleasant change that makes. Nobody in my house does.....seemingly ever....Grin.

Celery? The devil's salad vegetable. Especially when it's chopped up into little bits that you can't see until it's too late.....

GabriellaMontez · 09/03/2018 21:58

She was not unreasonable.

They both felt entitled. But only she was because she arrived early and sat in it.

Interesting how people thing letting him have the seat would have made her the better person. Bizarre.

Ivymaud · 09/03/2018 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsmadevans · 09/03/2018 21:59

He was being unreasonable OP your DD did the right thing good for her !

Arsenicinthesugarbowl · 09/03/2018 22:00

Someone did this to me once. I got to a conference early to get aisle seat as I wasn’t feeling great and worried I might need to slip out. At the very last minute (room had been filling up for 30 minutes) another woman came in and asked me to let her have the aisle seat as she needed it. Bearing in mind there was nowhere else to sit at this point! I asked her why and her response was that she liked to sit at the end! I said no and that I’d arrived early to ensure a good seat and suggested she may get try that next time. The room was packed.
Some people might think I was unkind but I think she was just being cheeky!

StealthPolarBear · 09/03/2018 22:01

"Celery? The devil's salad vegetable. Especially when it's chopped up into little bits that you can't see until it's too late....."
You are dead to me

Bluelady · 09/03/2018 22:01

The implication was that wmen are expected to be nice. I was pointing out that men are nice too. Ffs.

catkind · 09/03/2018 22:03

It's incredibly improbable that someone would be so disabled that they can only sit in one specific seat in a whole lecture hall. On the other hand rude selfish people are quite common. So on the balance of probabilities, yes trying it on seems most likely.

"terribly sorry sir but my eyesight is too bad to see the speaker's face through a lecturn too".

StepAwayFromGoogle · 09/03/2018 22:04

I am finding it hard to see any reason To be so rude to an elder but then again i was raised with manners.

A) You don't earn respect just by being an 'elder'
B) She was 'rude' to him because he was rude to her
C) You don't get a free pass to be rude just because you are an 'elder'
D) I too was raised with manners. Doesn't mean I think anyone older than me has the right to demand my seat!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 09/03/2018 22:06

is that really how it played out?

to be so rude to an elder but then again i was raised with manners.

So you dont know how it played out

But you know the DD was being rude to an elder

Alrighty

NataliaOsipova · 09/03/2018 22:06

Stealth Aaah - sorry to disappoint. We'll have to agree to differ on the celery question. I'm rather fond of rhubarb if that helps? 😂

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2018 22:06

He was rude. I wonder if he’d have spoken to an older man in the same way

Course not. Or out of the hundreds of people who's seat he could have gone for it wouldn't have been a young woman on her own he picked on despite there being plenty if aisle seats free.

She doesn't equal respect.

Unless you are telling me I should respect the old man who told me i should have more babies until I had a boy so I keep the population up outnumbering the p**is.

?

Old men are probably the worst for being sexist chauvinistic pigs they never had the younger women today taht we have standing up for themselves.

StealthPolarBear · 09/03/2018 22:07

She's young she has plenty of oppertunitues to go to other lectures

iven that we given the man a continence and mobility problems out of thin air I'm going to assume this was the dds last outing in public before she becomes a number and dedicates her life to her religion. Therefore it was reasonable for her to want her last outing as a civilian to be in the best seat.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/03/2018 22:07

Age doesn't equal respect

StealthPolarBear · 09/03/2018 22:09

This frail, doddery old man who is near death.
Similar age to my pils who walk for miles and have just decided to spend thousands on having their patio redone, so I hope he'll be around a couple of decades to enjoy it. And they even go to the toilet alone. As does fil's mum.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 09/03/2018 22:09

Im

So what i will do moving forward is request the age of the person who wants my seat

If they are 49 plus then i will hand it over...if below 47 then they can get knotted

Im hoping it won't come down to the nitty gritty of actual months. But i am prepared for it if it happens

StealthPolarBear · 09/03/2018 22:09

I hope they'll be around. I'm not bumping mil off Shock

StealthPolarBear · 09/03/2018 22:10

What if they're 48? Coin toss?

Viviennemary · 09/03/2018 22:12

She has been probably brought up to be selfish and inconsiderate of other people. Nothing to do with being unreasonable or not.

ItsAllABitStrangeReally · 09/03/2018 22:12

Entitled young men become entitled old men. Good on your dd.