Why would you want to work full time when your dh earns enough?

[NaiceToMeetYou]

^ my dm. The woman who's been 'on the sick for 25 years. I'm neglecting my children apparently. Fwiw dh has a decent wage which pays the bills but we're by no means rich. I've always worked, only part time for the last few years and this new role is actually a promotion I was very proud of.
Wibu to tell her to piss off back to the 1950's?

kitty

I think you missed the word "some" in a couple of your sentences

"Again, this is something working women tell themselves to make themselves feel better. 'Oh at least I am independent,' " I am a working woman and never said that in my life. I work because I want to and feel no guilt whatsoever thank you.

"When the fact is, if she splits with her husband, she will be no better off than a SAHM who splits from hers." Ummmmm, in all cases? REALLY?

And the Oscar for projecting and making huge generalisations goes to kitty
I will show that ranty post to my friend later who gave up her career and is now struggling as her other half has buggered off and she has no idea what he earns or where he has money hidden.
How is it possible to comment on every person’s situation. Ridiculous.

Fucking hell Kitty calm down! I haven't bashed sahp at all so suggesting I fabricated my op in order to start a bun fight is ridiculous.

I was a sahm for 6 years. Dh was working long hours on minimum wage and it was bloody tough. He's doing well now but who's to say that will continue?

He's also quite a bit older than me which has its own implications. I've only been back working for 19 months so this promotion is a big deal.

OP: Congratulations on your promotion. Well Done.

kittythekatt Wed 14-Mar-18 08:43:24
"It's an utter crock of shit that women will end up financially vulnerable if they are SAHMs. They haven't been 'financially vulnerable' for virtually half a fucking century."

Pension. The years you stay at home are years that you are only making very small contributions (if claiming child benefit) to your pension. If husband earns enough to set up private pension for you, that is fine. But not everybody is that lucky.

My dad told us years ago that if I die first, you children will have to help your mum. I'm shitting myself at the thought, having had to take massive career break myself.

@kittythekat was just gas lighting methinks!

If everybody is happy with their choices (and in fact is lucky enough to be able to exercise a true and free choice) than these threads would not provoke such strong reactions.
Just as with FF vs BF...

There are plenty of way to mitigate against a lack of pension contributions. Many families buy property, in the wife's name or the DC's name, for instance.

It's not about two parents working as such, but the family wealth overall and the disparity between the two incomes. It's the law of diminishing returns - if you earn £40k and your DH £60k, you would most probably keep working as your income would make a huge difference to your family's lifestyle and future security. If he earned £600k, then it's an entirely different decision.

Someone said on one of these threads that only 20% of families have a SAHM these days. If this is true, a large proportion of these will be wives of the top earners in society and at the other end if the spectrum, there will be the proportion who can't afford to work because of childcare costs. The vast majority of families will fall somewhere inbetween, including the "squeezed middle" who need two incomes for a decent standard of living because living costs are so much higher.

So everything is relative and even if you work, your lifestyle is being subsidised by your DH's income because two salaries are better than one. You may still struggle in the event if a split if you're used to a dual- income lifestyle. A SAHM on benefits will still receive benefits after a split. The wife of a high earner may have to downsize to sell the mansion and downsize to a more normal house maybe. But it's all relative to circumstances, "independence" is not about being a SAHM or WOHM.