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Original poster

To tell friend/bride her choice in shoes is terrible

255 replies

TheWonderfulCat · 08/03/2018 04:00

So my friend is getting married in 6 months and has just told us bridesmaids (im the MOH) that she wants us to wear converse shoes with our lovely dresses.

The shoes will look terrible with the dresses and Im dreading wearing them.

Should I say anything? And if so, what?
Or should I just suck it up?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
morningconstitutional2017 · 08/03/2018 09:01

I have to very careful with shoes as I have a high instep and narrow heels - I've never tried Converse but feel they wouldn't be comfy. I expect if the bride is paying it has to be her choice unless you can persuade her otherwise.

Picture this - when I was about 12 I was a bridesmaid for brother. His bride hired all the caboodle (gardenia hair-clips, dresses and shoes and the rest of the crap) from a well-known firm. Despite fittings which promised otherwise we were assured that the proper sizes would be provided on the big day. We had to all look the same down to the smallest detail.
The satin court shoes were a size too big (I'm a 3, they were at least 4 - or bigger) and we had to shuffle up the aisle as best we could. The hems of the long dresses kept getting caught up between our feet and the inside of the shoes. It was irritating at first, then we had to suppress giggles. Elegant it was not. I wasn't keen on weddings in the first place and that put me right off.

chocatoo · 08/03/2018 09:03

Try putting some insoles in (approx £25 from Boots). Worked wonders for me.

StinkyMcgrinky · 08/03/2018 09:10

dowager in my case my BF and my tastes are just so different finding a dress we would both find nice would be almost impossible. Plus, we both had other BMs and pleasing everyone is never going to happen. 9 bridesmaids all in a dress everyone loves? My SIL loved her polka dot BM dress and still wears it today, just like another one of the BMs at my BFs wedding still wears the diamante high heels whereas I wouldn't even entertain the idea.

No-one was upset about it in either case, it was just accepted that tastes were different and we were all their for a bigger reason. Not worth causing tension over if it can be avoided

Emmasmum2013 · 08/03/2018 09:15

Is she going for a bit of a Pinterest wedding OP?
I think it can look nice if done well as kind of shabby chic theme.
I'd have killed for some comfy flat shoes last time I was a bridesmaid.
If converse are not comfy then I'm sure there's something very similar that will be more comfortable. Or like a pp has said, get some inserts for them.

To tell friend/bride her choice in shoes is terrible
FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 08/03/2018 09:16

I have always thought converse look ridiculous on bridesmaids. Not edgy or cool, just really crap.

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 08/03/2018 09:21

The whole concept of 'bridesmaids' when you are a grown adult is just totally bizarre anyway. Asking someone to dress up like an accessory in ridiculous clothing, matching other adults, is just awful, it's quite bad up to age 10 but after that more or less inexcusable.

If I were asked to wear a short dress with Converse, I would just say no! I just wouldn't. It's just a pantomime type of thing and not hilarious at all.

Inthedeepdarkwinter · 08/03/2018 09:23

That's even without asking your bridesmaids to pay to look ridiculous (and I think most adult bridesmaids do look ridiculous because even if one looks nice in the dress, the others then don't and it's just a parade of people who don't quite fit into dresses they never would have chosen to wear). Asking you to pay is outrageous (again, wouldn't do it!)

noeffingidea · 08/03/2018 09:27

I think it depends on the dress. A full skirted 50's style dress can look good with converse. A cocktail type dress looks better with a more formal type of shoe.

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/03/2018 09:32

Inthedeepdarkwinter - could not agree more.

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/03/2018 09:35

Honestly Stinky - just let them all wear their own (themed, if necessary) dresses. Don't make grown women all wear the same dress - that's just cruel.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 08/03/2018 09:40

I've always found that converse need a lot of wearing in before they become comfortable. White ones will look awful after being worn in enough to wear all day at a wedding!

KochabRising · 08/03/2018 09:43

If you force your bridesmaids to dress a certain way you pay for it, by the way. You can’t reasonably expect someone to shell out hundreds for something theyvhate and will never use again.

Mine (such as they were, had no hen do or anything, basically they just stood at the front at the wedding and that was it) were told to wear whatever they felt good in, that was wedding appropriate and roughly going with a few colours. They looked lovely, and more importantly felt OK in what they wore.

blackteasplease · 08/03/2018 09:52

I would love to wear converse . I have narrow feet though and so many shoes are deigned for wider feet these days - almost all! So it would be a blessed relief.

But if they are uncomfy for you then explain this to her. She won't have realised.

StinkyMcgrinky · 08/03/2018 09:53

...in which case that's a whole different kettle of fish with the politics behind bridesmaids nd wedsing traditions that wasn't the intention of the thread.

I can think of plenty of things that are cruel such as people being abused or intentionally harmed. I don't class being invited to wear a dress as one of them

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2018 09:59

With short dresses? What on earth are they like?

I don't get why, if you're paying, you don't get a say. The bride can have whatever look she likes if she's paying the bill.

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2018 09:59

Oh yes, and wear whatever you like on your feet after the meal!

NotAllTimsWearCapes · 08/03/2018 10:02

Converse! How original! Grin

DarthNigel · 08/03/2018 10:03

I would recommend Superga as an alternative. They are cut low on the foot so look Better with skirts than converse or similar as they don't cut you off as much at the ankle. And they are a touch wider in fit.

QuimReaper · 08/03/2018 10:19

I just always find it really surprising when brides say their bridesmaids have to pay for something themselves, and then tell them exactly what it has to be. It's terribly wasteful as there's a good chance they won't get worn again. I had my BMs wear their own shoes, I can't imagine doing it any other way - whilst you can generally get a dress to suit three or four body types, everyone has different preferences, and sometimes needs, with shoes. Also then they were welcome to buy something new, but were very unlikely to be under any imperative to do so, as all I said was that I'd prefer a neutral colour palette. In the event if one of them asked to wear red or blue or something that wouldn't have mattered either though.

(Also whenever the bride tries to pick one shoe to suit multiple bridesmaids it always seems to end up being low-heeled spoony-toed monstrosities from M&S which will probably never be worn again.)

That's not about this bride though, who sounds like she's being perfectly flexible.

QuimReaper · 08/03/2018 10:21

Pure Entirely off topic but how are we pronouncing "Superga"? Is it like "super-ga" or "su-PEAR-guh"?

CotswoldStrife · 08/03/2018 10:24

Converse with a short dress. Not my idea of a good look either, OP! Good luck in finding something that meets the brief!

RoseWhiteTips · 08/03/2018 10:26

Her day. The end.

FrancisCrawford · 08/03/2018 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noeffingidea · 08/03/2018 10:50

RoseWhiteTips the OP's money. The end.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 08/03/2018 10:51

I've never worn Converse but I always assumed they were popular as they were so comfy. I'm amazed to find out that they are not!