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Original poster

To tell friend/bride her choice in shoes is terrible

255 replies

TheWonderfulCat · 08/03/2018 04:00

So my friend is getting married in 6 months and has just told us bridesmaids (im the MOH) that she wants us to wear converse shoes with our lovely dresses.

The shoes will look terrible with the dresses and Im dreading wearing them.

Should I say anything? And if so, what?
Or should I just suck it up?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
prideofaberdeen · 08/03/2018 08:13

I agree that Converse aren't the most comfy of shoe, but I wear them as I like the style. As a bridesmaid, surely high heels would be trickier to manage than a pair of trainers? I've got some shoes that I wore as a bridesmaid a few years ago and I have no idea how I got through the day wearing them!! Tough if you just don like the "look" though, it's the bride and groom's day so they get to decide that I'm afraid.

RegionalTreasure · 08/03/2018 08:17

The bride should be paying for the shoes. It's bad form to expect you to pay for something that she wants for her wedding. That's quite cringey to me.

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/03/2018 08:22

Is it usual for bridesmaids to pay for their own clothing/shoes if the bride is specifying what they should get?

No, it's really not usual.

frasier · 08/03/2018 08:22

I think this is a thing at the moment. If they show, the bride will look back at the photos and cringe!

However, I don't think there is a lot you can do, it's her day.

Try arch supports (chemist sell them) to give a lift to the arch.
Take other shoes with you for the evening do when the official photos etc. are over. No one will care or notice by then. The guys will have their jackets and ties off and the women probably change into Converse!

frasier · 08/03/2018 08:23

Oh, if you are buying your own, sell them again on eBay. Just say worn was for a wedding for a few hours. You'll get some money back.

expatinscotland · 08/03/2018 08:26

I can't wear heels without a lot of physical pain and I have narrow feet that are not flat so ''it's no big deal' actually is when you're in pain. I'm glad she came round with a compromise that works for you because being told to buy a shoe that causes you pain is ridiculous.

Tippz · 08/03/2018 08:27

Converse with bridesmaids dress?

Jesus fucking wept............. Confused

Ask her if she thinks it's April the 1st?

I literally cannot think of anything more chavvy.

belleandsnowwhite · 08/03/2018 08:27

I do like them but unfortunately I can't wear converse as they are narrow, and very uncomfortable. I would have to get a cheaper lookalike pair from primark.

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/03/2018 08:34

The brother of one of my school friends got married in 1991.

In MC Hammer pants. I think he may have made his groomsmen wear them, as well.

Those photos will never die.

QuimReaper · 08/03/2018 08:36

Me and hubby wore dm boots to our wedding😁..would not of taken kindly to a busy body suggesting an alternative

Honestly, did you even read past the thread title? Nobody is at all commenting on what the bride is choosing to wear.

TerfsUp · 08/03/2018 08:37

You'll have to suck it up, I 'm sorry to say. As much as I hate the bridezilla-industrial complex, the bride's aesthetics are paramount here.

QuimReaper · 08/03/2018 08:38

It seems a terrible waste for OP to have to buy Converse just for the wedding pictures, as well as similar-looking ones for the rest pf the time. They're really not cheap.

OP as a PP said, if you decide to roll with it, definitely break them in first! I find Converse very comfortable, but the first couple of wears they can be quite stiff.

YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 08/03/2018 08:39

When I was a MOH the bride had the most amazing pair of pink custom Converse for the evening do. They were fabulous.

Anyway - I also find Converse v uncomfortable. As she's happy with a similar alternative I'd recommend trying a pair of Superga.

Lalliella · 08/03/2018 08:40

I’m sorry but that will look awful. What is she thinking? If she wants comfy flats, what’s wrong with ballet style shoes? And she should be paying not you.

user1471459936 · 08/03/2018 08:41

Awful. So try-hard and cliched. Look at us being wacky! Ugh. No.

StinkyMcgrinky · 08/03/2018 08:44

I was MOH last year. I was 34 weeks pregnant at the wedding and was presented with a knee length turquoise dress that was the same as the other BMs but 2 sizes bigger (I wear a 14 but was given an 18 due to bump). I wore silver diamante high heels which were absolutely hideous and painful. I looked dreadful. But, it was what the bride wanted so put some silver flats in my bag and got on with it for 12 hours. It wasn't my day and it was what she wanted

Similarly, my bridesmaids wore 1950s polka dot dresses with red underskirts which I'm sure they thought were hideous. But, it was my wedding.

shinysinkredemption · 08/03/2018 08:45

I'd suck it up (but saying this as a wide footed Converse fan). It's her day and not worth falling out over. The fact she's agreed to an alternative shows she's not being Bridezilla-y and I'd be inclined to get exactly what she's requested as it is her big day. Everyone will know she's dressed you head to toe! You could probably sell them on eBay after the event, it's a good back story!

cambodianfoxhound · 08/03/2018 08:47

I can totally understand where you are coming from. Unless you are tall, svelte and model-like surely converse with a bridesmaid dress will just look awful...

It will end up looking like women who wear trainers with their formal work gear to walk to and from the office. That I understand as doesn't matter what you look like - but for a wedding, when there are photographs!?! It will look like the bridesmaids are wearing their comfy shoes to walk to and from the venue.

I think in all honesty you have to suck it up though as it will cause angst and offence if you say anything.... Changing after the formalities will make you look a little vain and precious...

RoryAndLogan · 08/03/2018 08:49

@StinkyMcgrinky diamante silver heels!!! Oh gosh you poor thing, is there anything more hideous/tacky. And heavily pregnant too.

Your bridesmaid dresses sound lovely on the other hand.

user1471459936 · 08/03/2018 08:49

Is she having bright orange gerberas for the bouquets?

SnorkFavour · 08/03/2018 08:55

I have mixed feelings.

You should definitely should do as she asks, but she should be paying for them. I'd be inclined to say you'll wear them provided that she buys them.

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/03/2018 08:59

But, it was what the bride wanted so put some silver flats in my bag and got on with it for 12 hours. It wasn't my day and it was what she wanted

Similarly, my bridesmaids wore 1950s polka dot dresses with red underskirts which I'm sure they thought were hideous. But, it was my wedding.

See, that all sounds not nice to me.

My BF and I were MoH for each other - we took each other out shopping, and bought and paid for something the other one would like, and want to wear again.

It's not hard.

FindingNormal · 08/03/2018 08:59

Aldi have got white converse knock offs for a fiver at the moment. I really like them (but I like converse)

KochabRising · 08/03/2018 09:00

I’d be delighted. Last time I was a bridesmaid I was given shoes I couldn’t physically walk in and could barely stand in without holding onto someone.
Buy some cheap arch supports and thank your lucky stars they’re not eight inch spike stilettos on a cobbled floor.

Fugitivefrombrusstice · 08/03/2018 09:00

My cousin did this at her wedding and after the ceremony and photos her sister swapped the converse for heels because it's what she preferred. Hopefully your bride would be ok with it!

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