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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In feeling that my friend is being a bit unfair here?

420 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 07/03/2018 20:01

I worked with someone until they left my current employer last year. We became really good friends while we worked together and I was gutted when she left, but she felt it was a good move for her. We still each other a couple of times a month and chat/message every couple of days.

The company I work for is closing down in June and I, along with everyone else, am being made redundant. I've started looking for alternative employment as my redundancy won't be much and my role is not particularly common so I feel I need to get looking asap.

I told my friend about a job that another friend told me about at a great company and that I've applied for it, I have an interview on Friday. It's perfect for me, close to home, quite a bit more money and a similar role that I'm doing now - friend agreed that it sounds right up my street and to let her know how I get on. Another colleague at work that she also keeps in touch with told me today that my friend is really unhappy in her job (she's never said anything to me, she tells me it's going great) and that she's applied for the job I told her about. Now, I know that I have no 'right' to stop her applying and I never would, but I just wish she'd have told me. She knows I need another job as I'm losing mine soon. I feel a bit let down.

OP posts:
SilverBirchTree · 09/03/2018 08:27

Oh wow I just read her message to you.

What a bitch! De-friend her.

Put it out of your mind and ace your interview

DavetheCat2001 · 09/03/2018 08:28

You'll smash it OP!

Will be sending as many positive vibes your way as I can!

Please bin off your so-called 'friend' after this. True colours have been shown..I would just cease to acknowledge her existence after this, whether she contacts you again or not.

Life is too short to associate with people ready to stick a knife in your back Flowers

Namesarehard · 09/03/2018 08:30

Yanbu. She's a total bitch for going about it the way she has.

Good luck in your interview x

ADishBestEatenCold · 09/03/2018 08:32

"she didn't have to tell me about it because it's none of my business"

I would reply says something like ...

"At a certain level of 'friendship' what you say would certainly be true, including it being none of my business ... stupidly (as it turns out) I had thought we had a higher level of friendship. My mistake."

snewsname · 09/03/2018 08:35

Well she's just lost a good friend. I couldn't recover from that betrayal. She wouldn't have even known about the job if it wasn't for you telling her. Fingers crossed you get it. Sorry about your lost friendship. But at least you know now what she is.

MischiefManagedAlways · 09/03/2018 08:37

Her message was out of order.

Best of luck OP.

AnoiaUnstickMyDrawers · 09/03/2018 08:43

Oh, good luck OP!

tumblrpigeon · 09/03/2018 09:09

Fingers crossed

Foslady · 09/03/2018 09:10

Good luck!!!

Smarmydrippings · 09/03/2018 09:12

Lots of luck Flowers

ItsNachoCheese · 09/03/2018 09:17

I really hope you get the job your "friend" is a snakey arsehole

Lonesurvivor · 09/03/2018 09:22

Only saw this now. Hope the interview goes well for you.
As for your friend, that was really unkind of her. As you say if it were an advertised job fair enough but to act in the way she did is really deceitful.

Bunchofdaffodils · 09/03/2018 09:25

Hope the interview went well. Be proud of yourself, you’re the better person no matter who gets the job. X

hellsbellsmelons · 09/03/2018 09:36

Everything is crossed for you.
Sock it to 'em.
Good luck.

Travis1 · 09/03/2018 09:43

Oh you'll be in your interview now! Hope you're knocking them dead x

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/03/2018 09:54

Rooting for you OP. The best of luck.

What a horrible ‘friend’. I don’t think I would be able to get over this with her, whether I got the job or not.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 09/03/2018 09:57

YANBU - I get where you're coming from.

I learnt the hard way never to tell friends about job applications. Why add to the competition and give yourself even less chance of being successful?

I wish you all the best

WilburIsSomePig · 09/03/2018 10:49

Well I think it went quite well - they have three other people to interview and will let me know by close of business today. Eek!

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 09/03/2018 10:55

OP it sounds as if you did a good interview and I really REALLY hope you get it!!!

Please come and update and in the meantime FINGERS CROSSED!

I agree with most others on here. re the 'friend'.

Not cricket.

You've seen her true colours now - what kind of a friend she is to people when it's a case of pure self-interest.

Yep, she had every right to apply, blah blah. And now you've every right to decide, quite calmly and without having an argument, that she's not someone you want to continue much of a friendship with.

I really, really hope you get the job and all that old slyboots gets out of it is losing a friend. Mean I know...

Good luck.

Nikephorus · 09/03/2018 10:56

We also expect to know by close of business!! Grin

Viviennemary · 09/03/2018 10:58

I think this is quite cheeky of her actually. I'd not bother with her after this. Of course she has the right to apply for the job. But she's a sneak and not a true friend IMHO. Tell them at the interview you and some others left the company because of a trouble maker. Don't name but hint. I know you won't do that but your friend has played dirty.

Curtainshopping · 09/03/2018 11:03

Never have I wanted someone to get a job so much as you to get this one OP, including myself.

YaBasic · 09/03/2018 11:06

Shamrock good luck!

Sallystyle · 09/03/2018 11:08

Oh, I so hope you get it. I will be sneaking on MN at work tonight to check Grin

I am sorry your 'friend' is such a shit bag Thanks

FizzyGreenWater · 09/03/2018 11:10

Curtainshopping Grin if you could just shuffle along there on the Sofa of Overinvestedness, I would like to join you please.