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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In feeling that my friend is being a bit unfair here?

420 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 07/03/2018 20:01

I worked with someone until they left my current employer last year. We became really good friends while we worked together and I was gutted when she left, but she felt it was a good move for her. We still each other a couple of times a month and chat/message every couple of days.

The company I work for is closing down in June and I, along with everyone else, am being made redundant. I've started looking for alternative employment as my redundancy won't be much and my role is not particularly common so I feel I need to get looking asap.

I told my friend about a job that another friend told me about at a great company and that I've applied for it, I have an interview on Friday. It's perfect for me, close to home, quite a bit more money and a similar role that I'm doing now - friend agreed that it sounds right up my street and to let her know how I get on. Another colleague at work that she also keeps in touch with told me today that my friend is really unhappy in her job (she's never said anything to me, she tells me it's going great) and that she's applied for the job I told her about. Now, I know that I have no 'right' to stop her applying and I never would, but I just wish she'd have told me. She knows I need another job as I'm losing mine soon. I feel a bit let down.

OP posts:
Cockadoodie · 10/03/2018 12:04

Congrats on the job! What your"friend" did wasn't the end of the world I understand that,she didn't murder anyone but the fact she was so sly and then her attitude in the messages should now make you realise her true colours. Also I know you say that ye got on very well but something that stood out to me was the fact she told you all along she was happy in her job and yet told the truth of the situation(quite the opposite) to someone she knows isn't trustworthy with private details. Perhaps this woman was never the friend to you that you thought she was OP,she certainly doesn't seem like the type you need in your life going forward. You can't trust someone who isn't straight up and honest to your face. Anyway best wishes in new job and onwards and upwards from here for you!!

MavisPike · 10/03/2018 12:48

congratulations !

Starlighter · 10/03/2018 13:38

Yes!! So pleased for you OP! Flowers

I can’t believe the behaviour of your so called friend. Very underhand and sneaky. She’s best avoided in future, I think.

TempusEejit · 10/03/2018 15:34

Well done OP

2kidsandcats · 10/03/2018 15:54

Yay! Happy for you. Just to say you're not the only one who's had this happen. In my case, I'd actually told friend to apply for job, but she'd told me it wasn't for her, hinted it was a bit beneath her, then became very elusive, which was upsetting as I'd just had a miscarriage. Discovered she'd gone for the job by an extremely random set of circumstances- an old college friend sat next to her on the bus and read the name of the company (where I worked an was applying for promotion). I found out she'd used a project I'd worked on with her as her test! In the end neither of us got it. Like in your case, it was the sneakiness that rankled. Curtains for the friendship.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 10/03/2018 16:17

Congratulations!

Coconuthusk · 10/03/2018 16:21

It's a very awkward conversation to have and maybe she thought she didn't have much chance so why potenrially upset you for no reason.

Coconuthusk · 10/03/2018 16:22

Missed the update - well done!

BewareOfDragons · 10/03/2018 16:30

Never been so delighted that a stranger got a job!

Congrats, OP. Well done you. And for your 'friend', karma.

chatty1 · 10/03/2018 17:06

I'm absolutely delighted!! I've heard this is the year for karma and then read this!
When your 'friend' replied 'none of your business' that was the clear end of the friendship. Don't look back or contact her! Move on! :)

Faith7777 · 10/03/2018 18:23

Well done. So pleased for you.

josbd · 10/03/2018 18:41

Is there any chsnce she hasn't actually applied and it's a bullshit story from your other friend in the office? Either way, someone is being a devious fucker. Best of luck to you for this interview and for the future

Bexter801 · 10/03/2018 18:49

@josbd she got the job :D

annielouise · 10/03/2018 19:00

That's great news! I wonder if she'll hear on the grapevine or will contact you directly to ask. She's lost a friend unless she says I thought of what you said and you were right and I'm sorry. Even then I'm not sure I could trust her.

CuriousMama · 10/03/2018 22:47

Yay!!!! So happy for you.

NoFucksImAQueen · 10/03/2018 23:03

Yeeeeeeesssssss!!!!

josbd · 11/03/2018 06:34

That is absolutely brilliant!! Well done!!

treacletoffee23 · 11/03/2018 08:51

Well she has blown it...one day a job may come up working at your new place, and you wont be telling her now , will you. Congratulations O.P x

CoraPirbright · 13/03/2018 09:13

Have you heard from your sneaky 'friend' OP? Did you tell your mutual friend that you got the job?

Coyoacan · 13/03/2018 14:17

Brilliant news, OP. Congratulations

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