Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

Only on mn does everyone's husband work away from home every day, in a very stressful and important job.
If they do ever get the chance to come home, they have to do an important time consuming hobby, which the op cannot reveal because it us so specific it will out them. Nobody else in the entire universe has the same hobby. The hobby ensures that the husband cannot do so much as fasten his own shoe lace.
He is too stressed out to do that!
He does not have time to fart never mind do a single thing for his family except of course earn copious amounts of money.
When the op says she is st breaking point and posters advise her to leave, she then says she can't because she has no money!
Despite the fact her husband works 200 hours a week in a very important senior role and earns a fortune.
Poster also then says if she leaves she will get nothing. She can't expect him to look after his own dcs because he works so hard and needs a break from the stress of the family ( which he never sees).

But do I know you, @SneakyGremlins?

I'd say the last time I had squash was about 45 years ago. They do tend to put it on the table at things like weddings here but only if there are kids attending. I've never seen an adult touch it though. Maybe everyone I know is just a roaring alcho so they're all on the wine or beer........

I don't drink, maybe that's why

sneakygremlins I loathe squash because it makes me thirsty again. T'is the devil's brew to me

Feeling ill but find it hard phoning in sick....cant you just work from home.
Snow day....work from home
Childcare issues work from home

Everyone on mumsnet assumes everyone works in an office environment with laptops to hand, spending all day typing up emails.

Nah nobody could ever work in a supermarket or a cafe, or be a postie or animal worker....everyone must be able to type up a storm in the comfort of your own home while you get paid 20 quid an hour.

I am thinking of calling my baby Toffelia but 'D'P, is not so keen. AIBU or is he?

oh god yes, the work from home thing does my head in too

also the see your hr dept, like every job has one, not some guy making it up as he's going along and you are at their mercy as you need the money

The ones that always spring to mind:

Poster: 'I've had a terrible day and snapped at DH/DCs/some knob in the Tesco car park'

MN: 'Oh dear, how embarrassing for you to be a grown woman and unable to control your temper/emotions. I think you need to see your GP'.

If you park in a parent and child space you are a pathetic snowflake who needs the piss ripped out of them.

If you can manage to eat more than two small slices of pizza (or - gasp - a whole one!) you are shockingly greedy.

And only on MN do people either not open Christmas cards or immediately chuck them in the bin

The husbands with Very Important Jobs and a hobby that can never be mentioned are always so ridiculous!

Every cunt who parks in a p&c without children has a hidden disability 🙄

ilove with threads like that I've been hoping the OP would write back with something like "I would work from home, but Im a surgeon insert other job that you blatantly can't do from home so it's not possible"

@KungFuPandaWorksOut16 ilove with threads like that I've been hoping the OP would write back with something like "I would work from home, but Im a surgeon insert other job that you blatantly can't do from home so it's not possible"

I'm waiting for someone to post some convoluted story about not being able to get into work, then someone suggesting they WFH, and the OP saying "Of course!! I never thought of that, what a simple and easy solution, thanks!" and toddling off to their desk happy as larry.

Poster: us it ok for girls to do 'this'?
1st reply: you are not a girl you are a woman.

Next thread
Poster: my dh is always going out with his mates and leaving me home with kids.
First poster: organise a girls night out with your mates and leave him to it.

🤔

Poster: 'DH and I are thinking of having some much needed quality time away - any good recommendations for minibreaks?'

MN: 'How sad that you don't want to spend holiday time with your children. When you have children, you're a family and that means spending time together, not palming them off on GPs so you can have a jolly'.

Real life: 'Good idea! How about x hotel?'

@ballroompink, just yesterday there was a poster who appeared to be aghast that any couple with children should ever want to go out by themselves, just the two of them, using a paid babysitter if they had no family nearby. Not even a mini break, just an evening out.

But to be fair, I don't think that feeling is a culture on MN like people with NPD, introverts, reclining aeroplane seats and disinfected bedlinen.

Something else funny about MN, although I can't really think of a pithy way to put it...On the one hand it delights in being vulgar with lots of swearing and frank talks about farting, shitting and the like (and I enjoy all that, don't get me wrong). Yet on the other, it can be weirdly puritanical about sex. There appear to be a lot of posters who are amazed that anyone actually enjoys it or considers it an important part of a relationship or, indeed, being a human.

It's odd.

@PoorYorick I did once venture over to the sex board (I think there's a sex board any way ) and found very open and lively discussion about the joys of sex. I think the rest of the boards are slightly more tame.

That could be it. I don't tend to look at the Sex board as I rarely shut up about it in real life.

I'm curious to know where all this ironing I can take in (to hire a cleaner) is? I haven't really noticed any requests on Gumtree. 🤔😅

@pooryorick oh god yes! The twee little phrase "doing the deed" gets right on my tits.

Something else funny about MN, although I can't really think of a pithy way to put it...On the one hand it delights in being vulgar with lots of swearing and frank talks about farting, shitting and the like (and I enjoy all that, don't get me wrong). Yet on the other, it can be weirdly puritanical about sex. There appear to be a lot of posters who are amazed that anyone actually enjoys it or considers it an important part of a relationship or, indeed, being a human

It could be that there is more than one poster on Mumsnet. Some like farting. Some don't like sex. Mumsnet isn't one homogenous entity.

It could be that there is more than one poster on Mumsnet. Some like farting. Some don't like sex. Mumsnet isn't one homogenous entity.

Yes, I realise that. I'm talking about on a general, MN-culture level, like every single post on this thread.

Love bombing,in real life this is spoiling your children.
All DHs/DPS have hobby's.
Compulsive Netflix watching.
Spending hours and hours cleaning,no one I know in real life does much.
Giving children who are too young to walk to the shops lots of pocket money and more than my money after bill to teenagers.

I always wonder what the hobbies are. I don't know any adults with hobbies. Do they mean going to the gym?