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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnet Vs Real life.

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 06/03/2018 11:44

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 08/03/2018 12:42

My husband and I have plenty of hobbies. But the other day (possibly on this thread), someone made the point that women shouldn't be shy of revealing their husband's hobbies because they aren't outing unless they include fire juggling.

So I'm staying quiet...

Steaksauce · 08/03/2018 13:02

I'd rather see "do the deed" or "DTD" than "Baby Dance/Danced/Dancing" or "BD"

What a shite phrase!

mygoditsfullofstars · 08/03/2018 13:27

Poster: I went shopping to Sainsbury's whilst visiting a town 4 hours away and have just returned home after taking 3 trains and a bus in the pouring rain with my five children, one of which has a cold and I've just realised I wasn't charged for a basic brand 27p stuffing mix.

MN: You must immediately return to the store even if it means taking a day off work and leaving your kids with your MIL and not only should you pay for the product but give Sainsburys 20% interest and apologise profusely for their mistake, otherwise you are a dirty thief who should be locked up for 50 years.

IRL: Oh well, guess the product was wrongly priced, on to next subject.

alwayschristmas · 08/03/2018 13:39

OP: My daughter's best friend calls her ugly/thick/fat, spreads rumours about her and goes for days ignoring her. What shall I do?

MN: They're teenagers. She's still learning. Leave them to it. Don't get involved. They'll be friends again next week and then it will be awkward when the friend comes to your house.

RL: That's not what friendship looks like. Tell your daughter to drop her from a great height and find real friends. She's thirteen, not three. Whatever you do, don't invite the brat into your home.

ShotsFired · 08/03/2018 13:42

@Onlyoldontheoutside Spending hours and hours cleaning,no one I know in real life does much.

Well, when you have to justify what you do with your day, then it seems like washing the skirting boards in the basement every half hour is the obvious answer.

Most people would just admit to having a nap or a bit of cake.

Willow2017 · 08/03/2018 14:32

Most people would just admit to having a nap or a bit of cake.

Noooooo wont someone think of the poor skirting boards???

sidles off for cake and a nap

MotherofaSurvivor · 08/03/2018 15:23

OP: Friend claims PIP, has Motability car and is running the London Marathon and climbed Mount Everest last year

MN: "She may have a hidden illness! YABVU!!!!"

greenbeansqueen · 08/03/2018 15:25

SEN - the number of posters who say - YABU the could could be... IRL I know a few people with kids who actually have any issues.

iklboo · 08/03/2018 15:27

OP: My mum looks after DC one afternoon a week for 2 hours on my late shift. So far she's broken ornaments, set fire to tea towels, drunk all the gin, smashed plates and ate all DC's Easter eggs we'd hidden in the loft.

MN: You're an ungrateful brat. She gives you free childcare. Just suck it up. She's family. You're lucky you even have a mother. What are you doing giving your children chocolate anyway. No wonder there's an obesity crisis.

Toyboysrus · 08/03/2018 15:52

On MN people try to have jolly cooked from scratch family dinners round the table and get very stressed when their young dc don't want to co operate with this. In RL people give their dc nuggets, chips and beans in front of the TV and it's all eaten up with no stress, angst or tears from anybody.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 08/03/2018 16:02

IRL I know a few people with kids who actually have any issues.

Well I know shitloads of kids with "issues", everyone has different experiences and different circles of people around them. Approx 1 in 100 children in the UK are autistic, around 4 in 100 have ADHD, 5% have a recognised conduct disorder such as Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and 10% of children aged 5-14 have a clinically diagnosable mental health condition. There will be some overlap as there are children diagnosed with multiple conditions however SN is far more prevelant than you might think which is why many people consider potential SN when faced with a child acting in a way others would consider "brattish".

OP: Friend claims PIP, has Motability car and is running the London Marathon and climbed Mount Everest last year

MN: "She may have a hidden illness! YABVU!!!!"

But she may Hmm My child gets DLA due to a non-visible disability and it includes a mobility element but he can still run and climb. You don't just rock up to the DWP and collect your DLA/PIP. You apply, you provide evidence including copies of medical reports and contact details for any professionals involved in your care, you may have to go for an assessment, and they decide whether you can claim it or not. They come down very hard on people who are caught making false claims, which is far fewer than you'd think considering it's difficult to actually be awarded it in the first place.

Nice to see this thread is bringing out the disabilist arseholes, makes it easier to keep track of who to avoid on other threads.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 08/03/2018 16:37

You are expected to violently shit yourself rather then use the available disabled toilet for 5 mins.

Jenna43 · 08/03/2018 16:41

SEN - the number of posters who say - YABU the could could be... IRL I know a few people with kids who actually have any issues

There's a thread running at the minute where a poster said there is no SEN kids in her DCs class at school...she's been accused of all sorts...she doesn't 'understand' SEN, she just hasn't 'seen' the DCs medical records etc. Why is this so hard to believe for some people?

Bluelady · 08/03/2018 16:43

OP I'm starting a humorous thread lampooning some of the bonkers stuff posted on MN.

MN There's nothing remotely funny about it, you're every kind of ist ever invented and I'm going to report you.

Jenna43 · 08/03/2018 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 08/03/2018 16:48

Also the young adults who complain that their parents won't give them thousands of pounds so that they can buy a house,the same who complain that they will be to old to really benefit from their inheritance.
IRL,most of us quite like the idea that our parents may love to a ripe old age and that we can visit them in a comfortable home.Also that there is somewhere for the boomeranged generation to live.

Also that I MN world you cannot move house until incase your grown up children need somewhere to stay when vißiting their old friends..
IRL parents get their life back,we love our kids but if they don't leave the nest we will never get grandchildren!

NinjagoNinja · 08/03/2018 16:51

What's oppositional defiance disorder?

NinjagoNinja · 08/03/2018 16:51

I mean, I know what it sounds like, but...is this actually a thing now?

FreudianSlurp · 08/03/2018 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 08/03/2018 17:11

'I mean, I know what it sounds like, but...is this actually a thing now?'

It's a form of autism.

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/03/2018 17:20

Winteresse

I think the complete opposite re ED’s, in real life there is very little recognition that obesity is an eating disorder. Virtually none, in fact.

Want2bSupermum · 08/03/2018 17:25

ninja Oppositional defiance is what DD1 has been diagnosed with. Basically take a defiant child and times it by 100. She has anxiety/ASD/ADD too. DS has ASD. We have paid for so much therapy to help them both but oppositional defiance is the one piece of the puzzle which is very challenging for our family.

Good thing I drink lots of wine, can buy wine for DDs teachers and that she is in the 97th percentile in terms of ability.

Want2bSupermum · 08/03/2018 17:29

SEN - if you met DS you wouldn't know he has ASD. We have trained him to fit in so to speak. When you remove him from the structure he can operate in he falls apart.

I can go into a supermarket and a department store with him. It took a good year to do this and I think a lot of the success is down to him being diagnosed at 3. We live in the Us and our local Nordstrom and supermarket opened early for us so DS and his therapy team could come in and do their work.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 08/03/2018 17:59

I mean, I know what it sounds like, but...is this actually a thing now?

If by 'thing' you mean a condition that can have a profound and disabling impact upon a child then yeah, it's a thing now. It's always been a thing even if it hasn't always been recognised as such.

Oh bore off will you ffs.

Totally boring what with my refusal to agree with disparaging remarks about children with SN Hmm

logicalmum · 08/03/2018 18:01

Ive just burnt dhs best shirt.
MN Why isn't he ironing his own shirts, are you his mother.
Real life....throw it out and hope he won't notice.