Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnet Vs Real life.

999 replies

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 · 06/03/2018 11:44

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

OP posts:
Icomehereseekingpeas · 07/03/2018 19:55

Lol at some of the baby names suggested on MN Grin

Rogue, anyone? 😂😂😂😂

Fia256 · 07/03/2018 19:55

The whole sex/gender thing. I do not know of one single person who would correct someone when they say anything about a baby's gender!! And on that note, I also couldn't think of one person who is offended by a baby girl in pink, or have an issue with anyone who buys stereotypical colours/clothes/toys for their children

Icomehereseekingpeas · 07/03/2018 19:58

@Fia256 I've seen people irl offended that their boys are in the 'girls' aisle of Toys r Us. I didn't even know Toys R Us had a 'girls aisle'. Hmm

PoorYorick · 07/03/2018 20:05

@Shinycat, the data you are going from is outdated, as has been linked earlier in the thread. We have had massive improvements in healthcare, nutrition and longevity since then. It would be frankly weird if women's fertility hadn't improved a bit as well.

The decline in fertility happens, nobody denies that. It is simply that it is a bit slower and later than it was calculated 200 years ago.

The idea that your ovaries suddenly vaporise and disappear when the clock strikes midnight on your 36th birthday is not true. If you struggle to conceive at 37, you would probably have struggled at 34.

I don't know why you get so angry about it.

PoorYorick · 07/03/2018 20:06

Sorry, just saw the updates and agreement to take this one outside. As you were.

NinjagoNinja · 07/03/2018 20:07

shiny you've got people's backs up because you keep saying fertility declines rapidly. If you'd said gradually I'd have let it go. It is not a rapid drop off a cliff at all.

And I'd love to know why that Australian website keeps being used as proof of this statistic - it doesn't cite any sources, just rehashed old cliches.

You are living in a fantasy land of your own if you think it's not easy for most women to get pregnant at 36, 37, 38. Literally all my friends had babies in their 30s, and all had at least one after 35. It's completely normal.

Fertility experts (not that website) will tell you that a woman who struggles to conceive at 36 would probably have struggled to conceive at 26. You don't find it easy at 34 and a half and suddenly impossible at 35 and a half.

MaisyPops · 07/03/2018 20:08

And not only that but if you suggest there's any connotations or associations to a name then you are a child hating person who judges children by their names and assumes everyone with that name must be the same.

I always find baby name threads hilarious for the amount of virtue signalling (probably by people with children called names like Noah, Amelia, Alfie, Sophia who would never in a million years consider the names they defend)

OP: I was thinking about calling my child Kaidyn-Mai Staarr because we love unusual names and also unisex names. Do you think with the yn it makes it clear DC is a girl?
What do you think of the name?

Posters: Terrible name / why not pick an actual name / Spelling names in a youneek way is a bit chavvy

Virtue signaller - It's nice to see how spiteful some people are on here. I'd rather have an unusual name than be as bitter and full if hate like these. Don't worry OP. If you love the name then go with it. Nobody in the real world would notice or care.
tootles off to pick Matilda up from school where her friends are called Poppy and Lottie and there's not a single youneeek name in sight

BumDisease · 07/03/2018 20:09

Everyone scoffs, gobbles, troughs, and guzzles their (disgusting quantities) of food. No one just EATS.

Icomehereseekingpeas · 07/03/2018 20:14

In fairness @BumDisease I 'scoff food' irl too Blush

Icomehereseekingpeas · 07/03/2018 20:15

The baby names on MN are mostly shite, I wonder if people are taking the piss when they post them on here.

PoorYorick · 07/03/2018 20:19

I assume most of them are jokes. I considered starting a joke one myself when I was pregnant but I didn't.

Bluelady · 07/03/2018 20:20

Apparently some of them chomp.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 07/03/2018 20:23

People complain that their Advent calendars finish on 24th December. The clue's in the name you dimwits.
RG universities are the only ones worth considering. Irl most of us have successfully put our dc through uni without knowing or caring what rg uni actually is.

Yy there can never be a badly behaved child. They must always have sn and adjustments made for their brattish behaviour.

And my favourite, although it's already been mentioned. The bully little shit who is making your child's life a misery must of course be invited to your dc's birthday party. Because irl we never put our own dc first and of course we'll put the bully's feelings before those of our own dc on their birthday Hmm
Ffs.

Teutonic · 07/03/2018 20:27

Every MNetter apparently has a child who have class mates called La La, Dipsy, Po and Tinkywinky ( although Tinkywinky is currently identifying as a woman )
No self respecting MNetter would put anything on their walls but Ball and Farrow. This naturally would be applied by her OH when he gets home from his 26 hour very senior job.
Any MNetters OH who looks at a woman for any longer than 0.5 seconds is a pervert, even if she is reading the news on T.V.
MNetters can only have sex by prior appointment which must take place on 32nd of Julember, as she is knackered due to organising Toffelias birthday party, writing hand made Thank You cards and choosing Ball and Farrow paint colours.

Teutonic · 07/03/2018 20:30

It's also MN law that you must hate your M.I.L before you've even met her and you must also go NC with your own mother before the first coat of Ball and Farrow paint has dried.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 07/03/2018 20:31

But plenty of children do have SN. If I see a child acting "brattish" I don't presume they're simply being naughty because I don't know them or their situation. My child displays lots of "brattish" behaviour due to SN, to an outsider it probably looks awful when he's rolling on the floor and chanting random words which may or may not include swear words or when he's screaming at the top of his lungs and being bundled out of the door while thumping me and trying to escape. I've had people tell me he's naughty, he's a brat, he needs a good hard smack, he needs more boundaries, I should teach him that I'm the boss, and so on because they don't know he has SN, he doesn't have a label on his forehead or a special t-shirt with his diagnosis printed on it.

It's not ridiculous to see a child "misbehaving" and consider the possibility that they may have SN rather than immediately judging the parent(s) for have a badly behaved child.

Takeaweeseat · 07/03/2018 20:40

Yy there can never be a badly behaved child. They must always have sn and adjustments made for their brattish behaviour

I find that so infuriating. Nothing that a bit of 'love-bombing' rewarding bad behaviour can't fix apparently.

grovebeach · 07/03/2018 20:43

On MN your MIL is not allowed anywhere near your baby for the first 6 months but your mum will be your birthing partner over your DH and move in for the first 18 years of your child's life.
In RL your mum and your MIL both come round for baby cuddles and to make you a cup of tea (hopefully, if they're decent people) and no one kicks up this fuss

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 07/03/2018 20:45

I’m of the the same opinion as you Motherforking and probably because my son sounds like he’s very similar to yours. Other people’s judgements since my son started exhibiting signs of SN (followed by diagnosis) made me totally change my view on judging other people generally but especially those who seem to be struggling with their child’s challenging behaviour.

LeighaJ · 07/03/2018 20:47

troodiedoo

"I love how this thread has a sub plot of what age fertility starts to decline. Only on MN!"

I was just thinking the same thing, but if we ask them to go argue elsewhere instead of potentially ruining the thread, then we'll probably be told. "Not your circus, not your monkey." Possibly in all caps. 😃🤣

Takeaweeseat · 07/03/2018 20:48

MotherforkingShirtballs

If I seen a child behaving as you've described above I would assume the child had SN.

There are some kids who are just cheeky little sods, that's more what I think people are talking about

TooManyPaws · 07/03/2018 20:50

RG universities are the only ones worth considering. Irl most of us have successfully put our dc through uni without knowing or caring what rg uni actually is.

I spent ages wondering why Robert Gordon University (RGU or RG) was relevant.

LeighaJ · 07/03/2018 20:52

One from today, if you're incredulous at the cost of ready made foods that are fairly easy to make from scratch then you're disablist.

NearlyThirtyDad · 07/03/2018 20:52

@icomehereseekingpeas toys 'r' us doesn't have any aisles anymore

TooManyPaws · 07/03/2018 20:52

Perfectly normal Scots, Welsh and Irish names being dismissed as "no one calls their child that any more" or "far too difficult to spell or pronounce".