Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

The 'sensible' 9-year-old is still a 9-year-old. Such a child is neurologically incapable of the sensibility of even a teenager, much less an adult.

The quite cul-de-sac. Everyone lives in one. If you're not letting your said sensible 9-year-old hoon around at complete liberty, you are a helicopter parent, neurotic, and your child will end up completely stifled and utterly incapable of independent thought or ability, forever, because after all, we did it in the 1970s and 80s and it was wonderful, the best EVER! No one lives in a shit estate, or in a flat on a busy road or works all the time so they have to use childcare in lieu of den building in the neighbourhood, those kids are all doomed to incapable adulthood.

throwcushions also those posters invented giving kids veg. People are constantly amazed that their kids eat veg. They get comments from who?? Who watches them eat dinner?? ALL THE TIME about their kids varied pallets and its just SO TIRING having to constantly explain to all these people who are invested in their kids dinners why veggies are better for kids than crack and pop tarts.

On fertility - our NCT group had 8 couples, 4 had IVF, including 2 using donor eggs. The other 4 had naturally conceived. With couples I know in general, that is pretty standard for those aged over 35.

I love how this thread has a sub plot of what age fertility starts to decline. Only on MN!

For the record, got pregnant with my dd at 37 in 4 months.

Ninjagoninja, it’s normally done via Universities and they don’t ask everybody, they have a sample and they weight it statistically to represent the population in general within a certain margin of error.

My DS was in a research project about ages babies start speaking and they recruited in mat hospital. They probably did it through one or two antenatal clinics.

It doesn’t mean it’s like that for everybody, it’s like a horse race, the odds get longer but sometimes very long odds succeed and succeed quickly.

Woman snooping in partner's phone/diary/personal messages = perfectly fine if you're suspicious of something, got to be sure, build up your evidence

Man snooping in partner's phone/diary/personal messages = abusive

Some weird-ass denial on here.....

I could not give a shiny shit if a few posters on here have had kids over 35. So fucking what? That STILL doesn't change the fact that FERTILITY STARTS TO RAPIDLY DECLINE WHEN YOU HIT 35.

I didn't say it was impossible to get pregnant FFS!

But the fact is FERTILITY STARTS TO RAPIDLY DECLINE WHEN YOU HIT 35.

Now all the 'it's not a UK website' and I have 25 friends who had 12 babies over the age of 40' bollocks ain't gonna change that PROVEN FACT.

And no this fact is not centuries old. Give over FFS!

Now stop giving women the impression that it's just great to leave having babies til your late 30's FFS! What the fuck are you playing at?

Well it must be true if you've written in in all caps. This isn't the comments section of the Daily Mail you know.

FFS I can't be bothered to argue with people denying fucking obvious facts.

Bore the fuck off.

Well done for demonstrating the truth of this thread tho Shiny 👍🏻

Only on Mumsnet!

Just FFS any young women (under 30,) wanting to have kids; don't take any notice of the fucking stupid-ass posts on here saying they know dozens of women who had babies at fucking 40.

It is a well documented FACT that FERTILITY STARTS TO DECLINE RAPIDLY AFTER 35.

Yes it's cunting CAPS. So what?!

I'm fucking outta here.

You sound nice Shiny. Have you considered writing children's books?

Gotta love MN for a bun fight about fertility 😂😂😂

MN: its Friday!!!...I want GIN.....I've only had ten doubles at lunch, is that okay?......oh you are a hoot, knock back that gin, its trendy now....

RL: fucking lush

shineys right fertility does decline after 35, are we saying it doesnt now

"Age is the most important factor affecting a woman's chance to conceive and have a healthy child. As women age their fertility declines. A woman's fertility starts to decline in her early 30s, with the decline speeding up after 35. At 40 a woman only has a 5% chance of becoming pregnant in any month.
A woman's age affects her fertility - Your Fertility
yourfertility.org.au/for-women/age/"

'For the record, got pregnant with my dd at 37 in 4 months.'

I got pregnant off a missed miscarriage at that age without ever having a period. But plenty of friends of mine have experienced problems with fertility at that age, and many of them in their early 40s, with two having terminations for medical reasons. Fertility is one thing, but it is indeed a fact that the rate of genetic abnormalities does increase with age .

shiny is bloody scary thread got a tad volatile for a few pages

I forgot about how on MN, everyone sits ramrod straight for 17 hours on long haul flights because it's unbelievably inconsiderate to recline the seat. And how if someone does, they'll be kicked into submission. What airline is this? I'd genuinely love to see it.

Also, Shiny, you're wrong. It's not anywhere near as rapid as you so badly want it to be. A woman of 37 is, statistically, only very slightly less likely to conceive than she was at 34. And yes, the data used to compile the "35 cliff edge" theory is very outdated.

Nobody is denying that menopause occurs, it's just that it's slower and a bit later than, for whatever reason, you wish to think.

@londonista
You sound nice shiny have you considered writing for children's books?

😂😂😂

@ssd

Shiny is right about fertility declining quickly after 35.

Are we saying this doesn't happen now?

Thanks ssd

Sorry for getting so shouty and ranty. It's just making me mad that posters on here are denying the fact that fertility starts to decline rapidly after 35. It's really misleading information, and could lead to a lot of women struggling to conceive.

I am pleased and happy for the ones who have had healthy babies at 38-40 or whatever, but PLEASE let's not kid ourselves that it's a great idea to leave it til then, coz for many it's not.

And NO @pooryorick, I do NOT wish it to be 35 that fertility starts to rapidly decrease. It IS 35. Do not put words in my mouth.

Ok Shiny but please calm down, this was intended to be a light hearted thread not a huge debate

Baby names- should I go for Cressida or Pearl?

Sorry.

I will calm down ... backs away from thread.....

The checking phone one comes up quite often, ok for women on MN and they are encouraged to do so. It's abuse and controlling when it's a man.

A woman not in employment should be hailed and have access to all assets, a man not in employment is a cocklodger and only after her money.

Take it outside you lot & let us have our fun thread back!

Here's another: you must always invite all aquaintances youve ever made to everything. Every little coffee or catch up. Otherwise you are a wendy.

You must never ever see more of people you like than people you dont like.

Baby names- should I go for Cressida or Pearl?

Do you have any cultaral connections to those names? You can't just go picking a name because you like it you know!!!