Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

@LeighaJ your comment is hilarious! There are so many names that I've only ever seen on Mumsnet that apparently loads of people are considering

TattyTShirtor the towels one that’s been ongoing today. I’ve never read so much tosh in my life

I haven't seen that one Slutty... I'll go and look. I can imagine that MN's will post that they wash, dry and air all the family's individual towels twice a day....

Yeah of course they do 🙄

Taking a bus onto a pram is a crime on mn. You should have baby in a sling.

Yes this.

And if you do have the audacity to take a pram on you must fold it down as soon as you get on, while juggling a new born and all your shopping, which is not dangerous at all.

Oh I've remembered another one!

That no woman is flattered to be mistaken for being younger than she is. It insults her life and work experience and looking every one of her years is a badge of honour.

What a load of fucking tosh.

Oh and its also perfectly safe for toddlers who arent that stable on their feet to stand on moving busses because you must assume that ALL sitting adults have hidden disabilites and you are disablist if you ask

And if you do have the audacity to take a pram on you must fold it down as soon as you get on, while juggling a new born and all your shopping, which is not dangerous at all

Exactly. It is assumed that you can easily do it all on your own.

Stressed sahm? Put DC in nursery a few days or get a cleaner.

Those things don't cost money do they?

"We got X at Lakeland"

What is Lakeland? Why is it so prevalent? Is it a southern thing?

Is a wonderful kitchen shop that I don't go in because I want everything!!!

volunteering is the answer to everything. ...If you go there "to make friends" then piss off into the sunset with said new friends, rather than to do the job noone there will like you anyway Probably doesn't work if you're standing behind a shop counter or part of an army of balsam bashers, but if you get involved in organisation you start working as part of a team, and if any of them are halfway compatible you are likely to become friends.

It's perfectly acceptable to have a wedding and provide no food and drink and if anyone raises an eyebrow they're not a real friend and they're obviously just there for free food and a piss up.

'I have spent £1000 on DS 6 month old. Do you think I have got enough?'

No one ever gets insecure. If you have a moment of insecurity you need therapy.

SAHMs spend so much time doing 'admin' WTF is admin? I never spent hours of my day doing it.

People have no visitors for weeks because they want to bond with baby.

That accessible toilets are only for disabled people never for people with babies/toddlers and babies/toddlers can either be held on your lap with one hand while you pull your trousers down, wee etc or they can be handed to an obliging passer by or just popped on the toilet floor. And that if you're in a meeting of 40 people, of whom 30 are women, and there are only two toilets available, one of which is Accessible, you must queue for the non-accessible one just in case someone with invisible disabilities needs the Accessible one

@LeighaJ on page 10...

Taking a bus onto a pram is a crime on mn. You should have baby in a sling.

Blimey, how big is the pram that you could fit a bus on it?

....... or a small bus @worra

The mind boggles Shinycat

OP: ifdont know if we can afford a baby
MUMSNET: oh nobody ever thinks they can afford one , you emshould just go ahead, you don’t want to leave it too late and be too old

OP: school are constantly asking for money for trips and PTA nonsense
MUMSNET: well you shouldn’t have had kids, everyone know kids are expensive, you should have planned to spend 10 million pounds a year on each child, you are so irresponsible and you have no right to moan about money ever because you chose to give birth.

OP: my husband doesn’t like me having a male friend
Mumsnet: how dare he tell you who to be friends with, LTB

OP: my husband has a female friend
Mumsnet: he must be cheating on you, tell him he can’t be friends with her or LTB

Babycham - "faints with indignation" - Lakeland is from the Lake District!

In The Doghouse

OP: I'm wanting a dog, can people suggest breeds. I don't want a staffie or a lurched.

MN: Would you consider a staffie or a lurcher?

Also, all dogs should be walked for a minimum of two hours a day, or you're a dreadful owner. I once posted that my Shih Tzu had missed one walk due to my extreme morning sickness. I was crucified and told to rehome her. Apparently my extreme neglect will get even worse once baby is here

Brie

Oh and buying from a dog breeder makes you the devil himself. Unless you've been on a waiting list for 5000 years. I appreciate the puppy farming issue, but reputable breeders do exist that may have pups before 2028. You aren't a monster for wanting one sooner.

MereDintofPandiculation you are NO more likely to make a BFF at a voluntary job than at normal work. Less likely often because:
Some volunteers do as little as 4 or 5 days a year. You often dont see the same people each time you go
Of those who DO go regularly you are no more likely to hit it off with them than with your colleagues or neighbours.
Even if you hit it off at the voluntary job that often doesnt translate to seeing each other outside of the voluntary organising. This is what people struggle with when they post about making friends: transitioning friendly aquaintances into actual friends

If someone struggles with making friends at work & with neighbours & with kids friends parents etc they will also struggle to make friends at a voluntary job

20 replies all saying "volunteer" are of zero help!

Come out on top in any situation with a head tilt and a tinkly laugh.

If that fails - "no is a complete sentence"