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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Angry downstairs neighour

198 replies

maybebaby88 · 06/03/2018 09:01

So a few years ago I moved into my parters flat which he owns. The guy downstairs seemed nice enough, a guy in his fifties. However, occasionally he would shout through the ceiling to shut up if we were making noise whatever time of day it was. I mostly just ignored it.

A couple of years ago we rescued a dog. We already had one, but the new one has been severely abused and tends to go a bit crazy at certain sounds. This happens a few times a day and she will run up and down the hall for a bit crying. This is when the neighbour started gettinf reallh aggressive, basically shouting 'shut the f* up' all the time. My problem is that he does this in the middle of the day. I have become so stressed out and on edge, I keep them quiet until a reasonable time (10am-ish) and even started but he still yells at the slightest thing. Its awful because its got to the point where I end up snapping at the dogs for playing.

To add to that we have just had a baby, and I'm constantly worried that his crying will invoke the same response. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. He shouted the orher day because one of the dogs was trotting around excited to be going on a walk, but it was 11:30!

We dont have a carpet in the hall, just floorboards at the mo as we have really struggled financially, which I know makes it louder, but he shouts regardless of which room it is.

Sorry for the ridiculously long post. But are we in the wrong? If the dogs were constantly barking and running I would understand, but its a few times a day for a few minutes.

OP posts:
maybebaby88 · 06/03/2018 09:02

Sorry for the huge wall of text, I have no idea how to seoerate it on mobile

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 06/03/2018 09:04

I sympathise, but if you have dogs, you need a carpet ASAP. Just floorboards will make your dogs sound like a herd of elephants. I’d be complaining if I was your neighbour.

Fishface77 · 06/03/2018 09:06

I don’t think it’s reasonable to have 2 dogs in an upstairs flat.

NotTakenUsername · 06/03/2018 09:07

Do you see him face to face? How does he behave on those occasions?

If he struggles that much with noise he needs a nice detached house in the country. Unfortunately flats have neighbours.

Happened · 06/03/2018 09:07

Could you just get a cheap rug and put it down in the hallway until you can afford carpet? My dogs go crazy jumping about when they know they are going on a walk.

Karigan1 · 06/03/2018 09:08

If you can’t afford to carpet yet you can get a cheap runner rug from amazon which would help.

isitfridayyet1 · 06/03/2018 09:08

I think you need to put yourself in his position, first a dog and now a baby it must be very noisy for him.
Excessive noise can really blight someone life and I think you could help by saving up to get some carpet or maybe even rugs that may diminish the noise for him. Do you have a landlord? Would they be willing to help.

Gertrudethestag · 06/03/2018 09:09

You can get a hallway runner rug from Dunelm for £25. You could probably get one from eBay thats cheaper. Is this an option?

pasturesgreen · 06/03/2018 09:10

Neighbour is going about it in a slightly dickish way, but poor guy is probably exasperated.

You have two dogs, one of them an excitable rescue, in an upstairs flat with floorboards? You need carpets ASAP, the racket must be unbearable. Sorry, but it's you who's BU.

JediStoleMyBike · 06/03/2018 09:11

It does sound like there could be an unreasonable amount of noise being caused by the second dog, especially if its floorboards in the halls and he / she is running along then crying. I'd imagine the sound is echoing slightly, as well as the crying and bashing of footsteps too. I think I would be rather put out if I was a downstairs neighbour and had to listen to that frequently.
It's your right to have pets but they shouldn't infringe on the rights of others to enjoy their homes in peace. It does seem unreasonable to have the two dogs in an upstairs flat to begin with.

isitfridayyet1 · 06/03/2018 09:12

Sorry just read that your partner owns the flat. In that case you should definitely get carpet. Those suggesting he moves to a detached home can't be serious. Maybe he can't afford a house or a detached one at that. Simply saying he should put up with it, is typical of attitudes I see these days that 'me,me, me' behaviour. In a society we need to consider the feelings of others or else what sort of society do we have?

Sullabylullaby · 06/03/2018 09:13

I would get vinyl. In the flats I'm in, you're not allowed laminate or wood flooring unless A) you're on the ground floor or B) you lay a high specification floor insulation under the flooring (needs to be approved by the council).

I have experience of this from both sides, both with a neighbour complaining about noise (adjoining semi-detached houses) which nearly sent me over the edge with stress and with my current downstairs neighbour who shouts at her daughter quite often (could write another thread on that).

Could you stretch to vinyl? I wouldn't be inclined to get carpet with mucky hairy dogs running about.

It's a bit of a case of closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, but you really should have given consideration to this before taking on the dog (too late now I know).

I do have sympathy for you as I know how bloody stressful it is, tiptoeing around your own home, paranoid about every slight noise. You should really prioritise addressing it for your own sanity. If you could even go and talk to your neighbour and tell him that you are looking at changing flooring by X date, it might calm him down for a bit.

NotTakenUsername · 06/03/2018 09:15

Simply saying he should put up with it, is typical of attitudes I see these days that 'me,me, me' behaviour.

Perhaps if he dealt with it in an adult way op wouldn’t be posting online about a grown man shouting obscenities at her in her own home. The only ‘me me me’ I see in this scenario is the downstairs neighbour. There’s nothing selfish about taking in a rescue dog.

lilydaisyrose · 06/03/2018 09:16

I live below a family with 2 young kids and wooden floors (no dogs though). They are not a particularly deliberately noisy family (no loud music, shouting etc) but at times the running and jumping and furniture being dragged about and shoes worn indoors noise is absolutely unbearable. It totally grates on us and feels like it's driving me loopy. I have shouted at the ceiling in frustration at times too and we get on well!

I would HATE to live below you. It sounds like you have no concept of how noise travels and you sound a bit complacent about how your noise impacts on your neighbour's life.

Dcdfcdfc · 06/03/2018 09:16

YABU

This happens a few times a day and she will run up and down the hall for a bit crying.

If you have had the newer dog a couple of years already and he is still doing this and you still haven't bothered putting down carpet then I think you have been very selfish and I thinking.

I'm not surprised your neighbour is angry. He is t dealing with it in the best way though

Eltonjohnssyrup · 06/03/2018 09:17

Get the cheapest wall to wall carpet in the hall ASAP. Sorry, but that does sound really U.

Sarsparella · 06/03/2018 09:17

YABU, my neighbours make about half that noise and although I haven’t got to the stage of shouting I can understand why he’s annoyed

You need a carpet down ASAP, people have given cheap options

I think two dogs in an upstairs flat is bonkers in general (and I have dogs), but that’s a different conversation

Grumpyoldblonde · 06/03/2018 09:18

There will be noise, 2 dogs and a baby would make a noise and would drive me to distraction.
Carpet at least.

Hont1986 · 06/03/2018 09:20

YABVU to have two dogs that go "a bit crazy" in an upstairs flat with no sound dampening from carpets or rugs.

ashotinthedarkk · 06/03/2018 09:22

Jesus YABU.

You have two dogs in an upstairs flat? Think about it. You must be a nightmare to live under

Berthatydfil · 06/03/2018 09:24

OMG 2 dogs one which runs up and down and cries and a baby in a 2 bed flat with no carpets.
Not being unkind but no wonder he is cross. He is BU if he is getting aggressive but constant noise like that is probably extremely irritating.
Prioritise getting some soundproofing and carpets or rugs on your floors.

64BooLane · 06/03/2018 09:24

Sorry but YABU, and I say that as a fellow upper flat dweller. “A few times a day for a few minutes” is a LOT! You sound like you’re inclined to minimise it.

It will be much louder downstairs than you might think, based on how it sounds to you up above.

I sympathise with you feeling anxious, but this situation is entirely yours to change with better floor coverings - your neighbour must feel somewhat helpless, and that’s probably why he’s shouty.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 06/03/2018 09:25

Carpet tiles might be an option as well as they would be cheaper than carpet.

danTDM · 06/03/2018 09:26

YABU for sure 100% believe it!

MatildaTheCat · 06/03/2018 09:26

Two dogs, one who goes crazy, one new baby and no carpet. Are you for real asking if he’s BU?

Poor bloke. Sounds as if you are driving him quite literally mad.

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