Angry downstairs neighour

[maybebaby88]

So a few years ago I moved into my parters flat which he owns. The guy downstairs seemed nice enough, a guy in his fifties. However, occasionally he would shout through the ceiling to shut up if we were making noise whatever time of day it was. I mostly just ignored it.

A couple of years ago we rescued a dog. We already had one, but the new one has been severely abused and tends to go a bit crazy at certain sounds. This happens a few times a day and she will run up and down the hall for a bit crying. This is when the neighbour started gettinf reallh aggressive, basically shouting 'shut the f* up' all the time. My problem is that he does this in the middle of the day. I have become so stressed out and on edge, I keep them quiet until a reasonable time (10am-ish) and even started but he still yells at the slightest thing. Its awful because its got to the point where I end up snapping at the dogs for playing.

To add to that we have just had a baby, and I'm constantly worried that his crying will invoke the same response. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. He shouted the orher day because one of the dogs was trotting around excited to be going on a walk, but it was 11:30!

We dont have a carpet in the hall, just floorboards at the mo as we have really struggled financially, which I know makes it louder, but he shouts regardless of which room it is.

Sorry for the ridiculously long post. But are we in the wrong? If the dogs were constantly barking and running I would understand, but its a few times a day for a few minutes.

Totally agree Lizzie48, and whilst I'm sure there are a few things the OP could do to help the situation (such as carpet), if you live in a flat under someone else, you have to accept there will be noise. I get the feeling that if the noise was from a toddler running around, the responses here would be different.

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I just think if there had been less 'YABVVVVVU' and more supportive comments then the OP might have been more likely to actually resolve the noise issue.

And for those thinking that they should receive an eviction notice for noise pollution, would you really wish that on a newborn baby, who isn't to blame at all?

FWIW, OP, if by any chance you are reading this thread, I think you should write a letter of apology to the neighbour. Acknowledge that there has been too much noise, and that there is likely to be more noise now that you have a new baby. And say that you'll do what you what you can to reduce the noise level.

I do think you should rehome the rescue dog, I think it would make sense now that you have a new baby. And get cheap carpets for the flat.

Lizzie, you said "halls of resisTance". Sorry, it made me lol!

Lol, silly me, predictive text!!!

It’s not nice but he’s only shouting therefore making noise as you are.

Thanks for the responses. Firstly to the people saying I shouldn't have 2 dogs in an upstairs flat: it's a pretty big flat with its own large garden. So it's basically like a bungalow, just upstairs. Also, they are walked twice a day for at least an hour. My dogs are fine.

Also, we did have the money saved for a carpet but then the boiler died and buying a new one was a priority. I know that floorboards wpuld caude the hall to be noisy, but most of the time the dogs aren't in the hall. Like I said, he shouts whatever room we are in, and most of the house is carpeted or laminated. And it isn't a constant thing with the rescue dog, just a few times a day, maybe 3 or 4. I just feel like if you're going to live in a downstairs flat there will inevitably be a bit of noise occasionally, and since most of the time we are silent I dont see the problem.

But I appreciate you're answers. I will make the carpet a priority

I should probably also add that he himself is very loud. He always has the tv blaring until about 2 am, and I am often woken up in the morning by him talking loudly on the phone (in my carpeted bedroom). Of course he is perfectly entitled to do this, and I would never yell at him to shut up, but if he doesn't consider us with his noise I'm a bit less inclined to worry about him on the few occasions we make noise.

A bungalow does not have downstairs neighbours, OP, which leads to the point being made by PPs- you and your DP were massively inconsiderate not to at least attempt to tackle some level of soundproofing prior to getting a second dog. You have been there years- YEARS- so let’s move away from the ‘dog ate my homework’ excuses about why you couldn’t change your flooring before now, because that’s utter nonsense.

Now you say that your neighbour creates too much noise. I am not excusing his rudeness or poor way of handling things, but could it be partly in retaliation for your noise? He sounds like this could be his immature way of dealing with it. But listen to yourself, OP! By your account (despite the responses here) your only crime has been to run out of money to put in a carpet. You claim that you’re ‘silent’ other than the sound of your dogs feet on the flooring plus one of the dogs having a moment 3-4 times EVERY DAY!

So presumably even if he tried to do the decebt thing and actually talk to you about the noise, you wouldn’t admit any wrongdoing would you?

Really poor attitude OP. Yes, YABU

I'm shocked you've got 2 dogs in an upstairs flat. The noise must be horrible for the poor neighbour underneath! Then, also, you've had a baby, which will also be adding to the noise levels, he's probably at the end of his tether!
Heck, we live in a middle floor flat and we have to put up with noise from above and below (and believe me noise does travel up as well as down!) and if our upstairs neighbour was to get a dog, I'd be horrified.
YABU and you should have thought of the noise for your neighbour before you even got a dog, let alone 2.

I just feel like if you're going to live in a downstairs flat there will inevitably be a bit of noise occasionally

And he just feels if you are going to live in an upstairs flat you don’t have 2 noisy dogs, a noisy baby and no carpets or laminate flooring. You can do something about that combination to help reduce the impact on your neighbour, he can’t do anything and is reasonably frustrated and upset.

You need carpets or rugs where there is noise and only flooring or laminate, and if you can’t quieten them professional training for your dogs as a priority. My dog sits at the door when we are ready for a walk as he has been trained no to react excitably.

laminated floors are hardly better!

You are a bit stretched for cash but you got a dog? Of course he is going to complain about the noise. It is probably unbearable.

Good work coming back OP, it would have been easy to ignore the thread. If you're going to get a carpet, perhaps use that as a chance for a chat and try and reach a truce asking him to keep the tv down at 2am etc when you make your changes?

Wow dogs aside, cant believe people saying you shouldnt have a baby in an upstairs flat. Get real, this is 2018. Are you telling me everyone with kids in UK live in houses or ground floor flats. This isnt utopia.

Whoa, I can't actually believe the amount of venom in these responses. Have any of you actually read OP's post properly? She clearly states that she keeps the dogs quiet most of the time, that they are excercised and have access to a garden, and that the most noise is a few times a day. Of course they should get a carpet, but we don't know her financial situation. It's not ideal, but everyone who lives in a downstairs flat must know that they may hear some noise on occasion. If its only very few times a day and never at night why are you giving her such a hard time?

OP if you see this I'm sorry about all the hate you are getting. I think you need to try and come up with a practical solution, but you also sound like you are rather afraid of the guy so I wouldn't bother going down to speak to him. Can your partner do it? Try not to let it stress you out too much, just focus on your new baby. And maybe don't post on AIBU again. Often its where the trolls go to vent through a keyboard at some undeserving victim. I would go into a different chat section.

And to the rest of you, Mumsnet can really be a very hateful place sometimes. The OP has come on here for advice, she already stated that she is frightened in her own home, and having a new baby makes her particulalrly vulnerable. I'm disgusted by most if the responses on here. There is no need for such angry responses

I agree, @Poppydoo Mumsnet can be a really nasty place sometimes. We have a frightened new mum with a new baby who has a man shouting obscenities through the ceiling at her, and you're all assuming that he's a victim, when he's actually just as noisy as she is, and at 2am. (I know, you'll all say 'drip feed' blah blah blah.)

Amazing how posters pile in one after the other, clearly not actually having read the thread, just competing to be as unkind as possible.

The dog is noisy in the middle of the day, is he really always there at that time to hear it? Doesn't he, you know, have to go to work? He seems to have too much time on his hands.

An immediate and cheap solution would be get on ebay and buy a large amount of those foam interlocking tiles that you use for kids play areas. You can lay them right up the skirting and stanley knife off the excess. We actually use these are underlay for thin cotton rugs in our house (so we can machine wash the rugs - pets) but on their own you can hoover and mop them and they will deaden sound

Having a moment three to four times a day as well as the excitable trotting twice a day for walks is constant noise.

You have been there years, OP, so don’t feed us an excuse about why you haven’t got carpet throughout the entire house yet. If one boiler breaks your bank, you shouldn’t have got a second dog, particularly one you knew at the time wouldn’t behave appropriately for shared dwellings.

Your neighbour will be making noise in retaliation. You’ve been making consistent noise every day for a very long time, refusing to address it and expecting him to put up with it, so I think he’s well within his rights to go on the sound offensive.

YASBU, OP. You’re just coming up with excuses about why you’re not.

If you can hear him that loudly and he can hear you it really sounds like a sound insulation problem. Had this when fist living together in London in a flat in a Victorian conversion. The guy upstairs was elderly and pretty deaf so the telly would blare or so we thought, he had a hearing aid apparently and it was only when we went up for drinks one evening and the telly was blaring when we left our flat we realised as we approached their door that the telly wasn't in fact blaring. The couple underneath were Japanese and extremely quiet and polite but we could hear them. When we mentioned to the landlady, she said the Japanese couple had complained about us too. Al the flats were carpeted but the floorboards had no insulation in them at all and noise just flowed through the house. Nothing was done but we moved after a while anyway.

You can put celotex boards in the space under your floorboards. Might be worth talking to your neighbour and seeing if he'd go halves,..it's much easier to put it in from the floor side than it would be for him in his ceiling so if he really wants a quieter life, he should agree readily.
That with carpet above should really, really help. IT is also something you could do yourselves if needs be to save money. I'm sure there are many vids on YouTube

We have a frightened new mum with a new baby who has a man shouting obscenities through the ceiling at her, and you're all assuming that he's a victim, when he's actually just as noisy as she is, and at 2am. (I know, you'll all say 'drip feed' blah blah blah.)

Lizzie48 Really? Where does she give any inkling that she’s a “frightened new Mum”? Don’t make stuff up; if your point had any merit whatsoever you wouldn’t need to.

And of course he’s shouting obscenities; any sane person would when they are being consistently bombarded with noise several times a day, every day for years.

PAY WEEKLY CARPETS

So you have floorboards AND laminate?!

My upstairs neighbour has laminate- i can hear every step he takes, every move he makes, every piece of furniture he moves, I know what spin his washing machine is on, what tv channel he's watching and know when he is hoovering. There is no sound proofing!

But I've got used to that. It becomes more noisey when his baby granddaughter stays- yes she echos! But if he had dogs on top it would tip me over the edge.

You really have no idea what it's like unless you live underneath.
Poor guy no wonder he is shouting. He's at the end of his patience. Please please please get carpet down and replace the laminate! It should be banned in upstairs flats!

@WhatToDoAboutThis2017 She's said she feels like a prisoner in her own home, and anxious. And she is a new mum.

As I've said, you get a better response to a request for cooperation if you start off by talking. They were on speaking terms so he could have done this. And no, sane people do not need to shout obscenities.