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AIBU?

Ridiculous parenting advice

303 replies

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 05/03/2018 12:29

Aibu to ask you what the most ridiculous bit of parenting advice that you've ever been given is?

I can think of a few but these stand out to me

'It's good for him to cry like that, gets the air to his lungs, leave him for a while'- DS was screaming with teething pain and wanted comforting

'Can't you just lay him in the bath, he'll hold his breath obviously' - no DS will drown if I do that

OP posts:
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danni1979 · 07/03/2018 18:50

"Baby will wake up and let you know when she needs her first feed" Hmm

Says the midwife to me a few hours after my first child was born. 8 hrs later she asks me how many times I'd fed her. Urm, none! She's still asleep and 'didn't wake up to let me know'. I'm still mortified with myself for not fully thinking that one through! Blush

Thankfully all was well in the end, just a very sleepy newborn.

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raspberrysuicide · 07/03/2018 18:51

@Fintress
My week old dd slept for 8 hours and the hv made me wake her up. She screamed for ages!
I felt like Rachel in Friends when she woke up baby Emma.

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Shiraznowplease · 07/03/2018 18:56

My mil who disapproved on my breastfeeding, “ what she needs as a nice bottle of milk”. No what she needed was lose. And ranitidine to stop her reflux.
Also mil They are clingy children as you pay the too much attention?!
And I allowed my two to drink out of glasses ... before giving my dd (under one) a drink out of a very thin glass (and squash at that 😡) as she disapproved of my breast milk and water only
Rule

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LolitaLempicka · 07/03/2018 18:57

My babies always laid down in the bath. How else do you hold the slippery little buggers otherwise?

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Ketzele · 07/03/2018 19:01

I gave dd1 yogurt while weaning - she instantly had an allergic reaction, with her lips and tongue swelling up, trouble breathing, red and puffy face. I took her to the GP, who advised that I should keep giving her yogurt to 'build up her tolerance'.

Yep, and put her into anaphylactic shock Hmm

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Ketzele · 07/03/2018 19:02

Oh, and HV: "Babies can't breathe through their mouths".
Me: "What happens if they get a cold?"
HV: "It's terribly dangerous! If she gets a cold you must take her straight to hospital."

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Ketzele · 07/03/2018 19:05

Another HV, a 'sleep specialist' who I asked for advice on helping my newly adopted (traumatised and grieving) toddler with her sleep, gave me an American sleep training pamphlet that recommended holding/locking the door shut if your child is distressed and trying to get out at nighttime.

Pamphlet straight to bin.

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AnUtterIdiot · 07/03/2018 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ketzele · 07/03/2018 19:07

Yes! Visiting family in the Caribbean, 29 degrees, a woman starts hectoring me that my child will catch her death of cold. You see babies out there wearing woolly hats and cardies in the sweltering sun!

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buttonz · 07/03/2018 19:07

My SIL "You must get him into a routine".

My son was three weeks old and had just come out of SCBU after being very ill after an emergency section.

She then went on to brag that her son slept through from three weeks. At the time (and until he was three months old) ds slept no more than ten - twenty minutes at a time and I hadn't slept for weeks.

I just wanted to cry.

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bastardkitty · 07/03/2018 19:08

Ex in laws - there's no need to use a car seat. We didn't and baby was fine in the back. Ex SIL - Stop being so stupid with all this nut allergy nonsense. You just need to give them a little bit of nut every day. It's because you didn't give them nuts that this has happened.

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Offred · 07/03/2018 19:09

CAMHS told me that ‘children with ASD can’t have MH problems’

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bastardkitty · 07/03/2018 19:09

Oh and this one - once you've put the baby down in the cot you should both go out for a couple of hours. It's fine, we always did it.

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Tillybilly1 · 07/03/2018 19:18

Whiskey for everything- i.e. drug your baby to sleep, for teething etc... Guess before anbesol that's all they had to hand.
Lots of awful breastfeeding advice but worst comment suggested you have to stop when baby has teeth, er would you let a baby born with teeth starve?!? Said whilst having coffee with cowmilk in, maybe they wish they had managed to wean themselves 😉
Breastfeeding until children wean is the most normal natural thing, we are defined as mammals by our breasts, why have we put up with sexualisation of breasts?
I soon learned to look at breastfeeding network or kellymom for evidence based advice not some old HV's outdated opinion.

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Jux · 07/03/2018 19:33

MIL: To give 6 week old dd ribena because she "might be thirsty". Because milk, formula or breast, doesn't have thirst quenching properties, does it? No liquid there, oh no. And Ribena is so damn good for you, isn't it? All those lovely sugars........

The Ribena suggestion was taken out twice a week for about a year. I don't know how I managed not to throttle the old bag!

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Autigette · 07/03/2018 19:36

Over a decade ago, Consultant Paediatrician told me to put my 8yr old ADHD son in a box then put the lid down till he behaved. After blaming my parenting and getting child protection involved he got involved in his own disgusting scandal involving a teenager...... Karma. He eventually got cleared however his wrong dx on my son led to misery for years. We ended up successfully suing LA for clinical negligence. news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/1853914.stm

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User11011 · 07/03/2018 19:39

"You really must stop breastfeeding"
(MIL when my dd was 4 months old)

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Idontbelieveinthemoon · 07/03/2018 19:40

"He's too big to breastfeed, he'll never get enough from you" (MIL about newborn DS2 who was 10lbs and breastfed quite happily without needing a sneaky Dominos pizza or bag of Doritos to top him up.

And "Oh no, you'll make him a picky eater if you feed him like that" (BLW, also MIL).

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User11011 · 07/03/2018 19:40

According to my mum, injections (vaccinations) and not giving a breastfed newborn water to drink were both "cruel".

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AngelL7 · 07/03/2018 19:41

Not so much advice that I was given but my HV chastided me for DS being conceived 6 months after meeting his father (she asked. I was also 26 at the time) ...

“.....right, well, that wasn’t too clever was it?”

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Adnerb95 · 07/03/2018 19:41

Although some of these old wives tales are horrendous, I can also come up with some pretty horrendous examples of modern professionals completely losing perspective.

After DIL gave birth recently, after a long and traumatic Labour, the "breastfeeding support specialist" visited my extremely sleep-deprived and rather anxious DIL - staying over 2 hours!! - and by the time she left had undermined completely any confidence the poor girl had.

Amongst the diktats she issued were:

You must feed at least every 2 hours
You must express the first half-a-breastful as it is only the milk in the second half which is beneficial
You must complete this (detailed) chart to ensure that we can see how baby is doing (can't use our eyes, obviously!)

The schedule meant that there was no possibility of sleep AT ALL

Surely a relaxed, confident and well-rested Mum is much more important to the welfare of the newborn than fitting in with this ridiculous schedule?

We discovered that said breastfeeding specialist used to be in the Army. Don't know why she left ...

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Greensleeves · 07/03/2018 19:44

Paediatrician when ds1 was a baby said we were lying about how much milk he was having and if he drank that much he would have needed his stomach stapled by now

Friend who is a CAMHS worker saying he saw no evidence of ASD in DS1, it was clearly "behavioural" and had anyone talked to us about boundaries (DS1 has Aspergers, dx at 6, and is now 15 and a responsible, considerate boy)

MIL telling me I should "clip ds2's ear" for being naughty. He was about 18 months old

My mother saying "the trouble with your kids Greensleeves is that they're too comfortable - you need to traumatise them a bit"

My boys are really well-behaved and pleasant, btw, they're teens now and neither has ever been in any real trouble, been violent or had any major behavioural problems.

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Idontbelieveinthemoon · 07/03/2018 19:45

Also I've had a few Autism-related ones over the years with DS1. My worst ever was the Deputy Head at his Junior school who told me she didn't believe in SEN and that since DS1 could make eye contact I was clearly lying about his diagnosis (despite them receiving copies of everything from CAMHS over the 22 months he was under them).

I also got told that force-feeding Autistic children cures them of sensory issues. People are a bit stupid sometimes.

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Giverortakeafew · 07/03/2018 19:52

Ex Mil:

DD must be potty trained before she can stand so she won't feel uncomfortable in nappies (and she did her best to attempt this behind my back by putting my Dd on the potty for long periods)

Put natural yoghurt in a nappy for bappy rash. Non of that Sudocreme rubbish.

Scrape poo out of nappy into toilet before putting nappy into a nappy bag and the bin

Wipe Dd's face with dish cloth that was also used for wiping dog wee off thr floor/bleaching surfaces. Saves on wipes.

Use toilet paper for nappy changes. Saves on wipes.

Tell me I am a crap mum and the only reason my by then 1 year old DD needed a cuddly toy was because I don't love her enough.

There is a reason she is now an EX mil!!

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Chienrouge · 07/03/2018 19:55

Scrape poo out of nappy into toilet before putting nappy into a nappy bag and the bin

You really should tip the poo out (if possible) before putting it in the bin... land fill isn’t designed for human waste!

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