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AIBU?

Ridiculous parenting advice

303 replies

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 05/03/2018 12:29

Aibu to ask you what the most ridiculous bit of parenting advice that you've ever been given is?

I can think of a few but these stand out to me

'It's good for him to cry like that, gets the air to his lungs, leave him for a while'- DS was screaming with teething pain and wanted comforting

'Can't you just lay him in the bath, he'll hold his breath obviously' - no DS will drown if I do that

OP posts:
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FrozenMargarita17 · 06/03/2018 22:02

@cathf oh, I know. I wasn't jumping at you at all, I just think that sometimes that it isn't as easy as people say it is. That's what I was inferring to with my original post. It's like they can say 'get her in to a routine!' As if you've not tried it.

She gets in to a routine, but then it breaks. I think I know what I'm doing, and she changes. She just is really good at fighting sleep! She certainly put up a good fight from 7-12:15 today despite numerous attempts to get her off to sleep.

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Lolalovescrisps · 06/03/2018 22:11

I was told by the HV that my kids clearly had sibling rivalry as they were playing together when she arrived. DS was 8 months and DD was 3. DD has suspected autism and ADHD, enjoys playing with her brother but also values her own space. I explained that and she told me I was wrong. She also tried to force me. To see a. Doctor about anti depressants because I was a single mum. I politely declined and after she left put in a complaint. Haven't seen her since.

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Joskar · 06/03/2018 22:36

Dd1 refused to feed from the breast. It was massively stressful and upsetting because I really wanted to breastfeed her. Absolutely batshit HV was "helping" me:

HV: I never had any problems feeding my children. It's a huge rejection of you, of course.

Me:...errr...

HV: Now what are you eating? Are you eating normal food like mince and tatties?

Me: ...errrr...

HV: Absolutely nothing with -wrinkles nose- garlic in it, I hope. ALL babies hate garlic and it will taint your milk.

Me: Really? Even Indian/Mexican/Italian/French/Spanish/Portuguese/Chinese babies?

Got the baby on to the boob eventually but no thanks to her.

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dottydola · 07/03/2018 07:02

On arrival home after a week or two on the postnatal ward and baby in HDU, I asked the HV if it was normal that baby was a bit sniffly and sneezing:

HV: it's because she's hot, take a layer off

Me: babies sneeze because they're hot? Hmm

HV: Yes, take a layer off

She wasn't sneezing in her incubator which was a lot hotter than our house but sure. It's now a running joke if anyone sneezes to tell them they must be hot.

Oh and to wake the baby every 2 hours, who was peacefully sleeping and waking to feed every 4 hours. They told me to stick her feet in cold water, pinch her toes and ears, just to wake her up.

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SleepyIvy · 07/03/2018 11:52

From a male friend, who occasionally has his son at weekends - don't let DS call you 'SleepyIvy', he should always call you Mum,othwrwise he won't respect you.

I always called my parents by their names (although did use Mum sometimes) and although I know it's not usual, I don't think it's disrespectful.

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MaggieWaggie41 · 07/03/2018 17:23

Big enough to understand "no"

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mrscupcake · 07/03/2018 17:34

Locum GP when I took DS about getting a referral re possible ADHD - it's because he's an only child and he has too many toys!

Once he'd climbed all over everything in the room and turned the lights on and off several times she wrote a referral letter! Grin

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Mrseft · 07/03/2018 17:35

My eldest had a milk allergy, everyone who told me "just a little won't hurt"
Prize idiots.

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jomialola · 07/03/2018 17:35

Mil had a never ending list of “helpful” advice ... it’s good to have babies in smoky rooms - it builds up their tolerance to cancer ! Frozen bread is the biggest cause of cancer. I was a cruel and evil mother as my year old daughter was only allowed breastmilk or water !?

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SparklestheUnicorn · 07/03/2018 17:37

From a continence nurse: I should get a bed wetting alarm for my doubly incontinent dd who has spina bifida, as then it would teach her to be dry at night and I wouldn’t need to trouble the nhs for nappies. She’s 13 🤔

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DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 07/03/2018 17:38

According to MIL, DC had scoliosis because I passed on my faulty genes as she couldn't see any evidence of the condition on her side of the family. Sorry just realised wrong thread. There was no advice. I should have posted that on the amazing powers of deduction thread instead. LOL

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mylaptopismylapdog · 07/03/2018 17:43

Any way this thread can be forwarded to relevant professions for their training programs?

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rangel67 · 07/03/2018 18:01

HV told me to lay DS on his right to sleep, to help stop his ear from sticking out on that side. He was about 7 hours old. Lucky enough I wasn't a first time mum, so I didn't take her seriously

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stikessecretlover99 · 07/03/2018 18:06

mylaptop

H/V here . Quite happy with my training thanks !

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OJZJ · 07/03/2018 18:14

Shedmicehugh
If he lived with me for the week......
Ooooh don't ya just LOVE that one!!!!
My son has foetal alcohol spectrum disorder (birth mum drank A LOT during pregnancy...more you drink, the worse the effects as a rule but even small amounts cause damage... Off my soap box now) Which causes brain damage that mirrors autism,adhd,odd,rad,depression,anxiety etc and a "friend" was forever offering "advice" and throwing that chestnut in. "Yep, permanent brain damage caused by in utero exposure to alcohol and drugs WILL be cured by your parenting, esp as your own kids are such delightful treasures!!"
Also had the advice RE headbutting Confused

I apparently spoil my son and all he needs is "discipline and a good slap" that little gem of wisdom was given to someone in their early thirties and not an elderly grandparent.

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OJZJ · 07/03/2018 18:15

BY not to

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Munchkinbug · 07/03/2018 18:17

MIL: I know you're worried about her not putting on weight, but you really shouldn't - she's chubby enough, so you don't want her getting chubbier. DD was 3 month old with silent reflux, wouldn't take milk, and at her worst put on 15g in two weeks.
DH went mental and told her that was the last time she'd ever talk about weight in front our DD.

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Bellamuerte · 07/03/2018 18:21

Two midwives and a HV insisted that DS needed surgery for a tongue tie, and couldn't understand why I declined on the basis that the hospital consultant had already said he didn't have one and he had none of the symptoms. Apparently the lack of symptoms didn't matter because they could "see it in his mouth" and they thought that was sufficient justification for performing surgery on a tiny baby, even though a medical professional who was vastly more qualified than they were had already said it was unnecessary.

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usualGubbins · 07/03/2018 18:33

‘Where’s her potty’ MiL re DC1 at 3 days (!!) old. Swiftly followed by ‘all mine were trained by 12 months’ Hmm

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pinksplutterweasel · 07/03/2018 18:37

When I was struggling to breast feed my daughter, the bad consultant told me to lie down and drape her across me. Yeah, like I was going to do that when she was hungry and I was in the frozen food aisle in Waitrose. We tried for three weeks then switched to bottle because she projectile vomited after every feed, ended up in hospital with a canula in her hand at 3 weeks old. Once I stopped listening to everyone who said keep trying and I followed my instincts, motherhood was so much more pleasurable.

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pinksplutterweasel · 07/03/2018 18:37

That should say breast feeding consultant. Not bad consultant. Though she was a bad consultant imo.

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Thingiebob · 07/03/2018 18:40

My mum told me to stop picking up my four week old when she cried. Babies manipulate apparently. ugh

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salsah · 07/03/2018 18:42

When crossing a snowy road gingerly and very slowly with my first born in a sling and some shopping bags, a very elegant looking older woman with a very posh voice suddenly yelled at the top of her lungs from across a nearby street - MOTHER, BE CAREFUL NOT TO SLIP ON THE SNOW!
Followed by - YOU SHOULD CERTAINLY NOT BE CROSSING ROADS IN THIS WEATHER!

She gave me such a fright about the bleeding obvious state of the roads I'm surprised I actually didn't slip and I stupidly only managed a sheepish shrug of well we do have to eat as opposed to telling her that I had managed to actually notice the snow. I felt like public property and felt quite sorry for myself until I told my mum at home who responded with hoots of laughter.

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Loobylu44 · 07/03/2018 18:47

God as if parenting isn’t tricky enough you have to listen to absolute morons talking shite!

Worst advice from ex MIL was to keep presenting my year old son with the same meal until he ate it. But literally the same meal meaning that the pasta he had been given for tea was to be given to him for breakfast, then lunch etc until it was all gone otherwise he would be picky! He is now a very healthy 24 year old who eats anything and everything and is very healthy and unpicky! Thankfully I was picky enough to kick my then husband to the kerb and upgrade both husband and MIL in one go! Yay!

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user1498549192 · 07/03/2018 18:48

If you just leave him alone, he'll drift off....

HA! Never in his life has my baby "drifted off"; he could fight sleep for England.

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