To think my kids should eat the same as me and dh?

[Iwillsurvive1]

So we have friends staying with us who find it absurd (their word) that I expect my dd1 (8) dd2 (5) and ds1 (2) to eat the same meals as me and dh and don’t cook separately for them? I work full time and get home at 4:30 so I cook 1 meal like spaghetti bolognaise, shepherds pie, lasagne etc that we all eat together at 6 ish when dh gets home. My ‘friend’ thinks this is too late for the kids to eat (they go to bed between 8-8:30) and that I should make them something quick and easy so they can eat at 5 before me and dh, she also thinks I should let them choose what they want to eat even if they all want different things but I think this would just make them fussy eaters which I never have a problem with at the moment, obviously if I know they don’t like something I won’t make them eat It like if me and dh have fish or curry they will have something like fish fingers or chicken nuggets something that me and dh wouldn’t want but why would I cook them something different every night? So AIBU?

You are definitely not being unreasonable.
Your friend is interfering.
What you do sounds great to me and more importantly works for your family.
I have a mixture of fussy eaters, vegetarians and allergy sufferers, so mealtimes are a nightmare!

YANBU - your way is the best way. No doubt about it

What on earth has it got to do with your friend? She needs to wind her neck in, nothing wrong with what you’re doing at all and 100% none of her business either

Not at all. You’re getting them used to eating real food.

But I’m probably biased as I do the same.

My 2 and 3 year olds ate at 6:45 with us tonight. We had a roast and they ate largely the same, with a few adaptations (no gravy, parsnip or chard, broccoli instead of other veg).

They eat well. Much better than if I prepared something totally separately.

You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable - doing the right thing. Family meals are great, and they might as well get used to proper food. These people who ask kids what they want to eat are simply lazy - it's the parent's responsibility to provide decent food. You wouldn't ask the child's advice about what car to buy and a small child doesnt have the knowledge to make sensible food choices. If you don't make a fuss and expect kids to eat what the adults are having (within reason!) that's what they do!

If that's your routine and works for your children, great. None of your friend's business.

I grew up with us all eating the same as my parents, and if you didn't like it you went hungry- it did me no harm! Pandering to each child's needs surely leads to fussy eaters not to mention being a lot of extra work for you. I don't think 6 is too late for them to be eating, and I think eating together as a family is a great thing to do. Yanbu, your friend should keep her views to herself!

Your friend hads very odd views!

Your friend isn't right IMO - aside from what they are eating, there are great benefits to be had from sitting down to a meal together as a family.

None of her business. How strange she should offer her opinion!

One of the most lovely things about having your own family is all sitting together round the table talking. Children learn table manners, the art of conversation etc and you all eat the same thing! ( allergies and veganism etc excluded).
Why would any busy woaman want to make more work for herself by preparing two different meals?
Does your ‘ friend’ think children should be fed beans on toast at five while mummy and daddy eat a proper meal later? Did she come and visit you from the 1880’s??
Families eat together and eat the same food.
It’s each to their own but I think it’s your friend who is odd and unusual. It’s the best way to get kids to eat real food as opposed to ‘ kid’ food.

YANBU
My daughter started eating food off my plate, and I have NEVER EVER cooked anything different, she gets what we eat other than the odd time she has had a friend to tea (when we might have a more grown up meal that we like eg curry) or when she has a friend with special dietary needs to tea.

My dd ate differently on weekdays once she started school as she would be ravenous as soon as she got home so would eat then.Onthe days I worked I donn't get home until 7pm at the earliest and when she was younger 7.30 was her bed time,then exh and I would eat together.
It's what works for you but neither way is wrong so your friend is being rude to comment.Also I never gave DD a choice and the thought of going down that route if you have more than one child-that way lays madness.

YANBU your friend is an idiot. As children DH and I both ate what our parents had unless it was something we genuinely didn’t like (my case ravioli), otherwise we went hungry.
We eat late as we both work until 6 and DS1 eats with us. We make an effort to eat as a family at the table and have recently encouraged DS1 3.6 to talk about his day.
I haven’t got the time or inclination to be cooking lots of different meals. I’m running a home not a restaurant!

So your friend is interfering, and offering unasked-for advice that advocates giving up family meal-times, encouraging fussiness, likely encouraging a less healthy diet, and creates way more work for you.

Okay.....

Don't ever take investment advice from her.

Sounds like your friend is pissed off you're parenting differently to her or her parents

Carry on OP!

Sounds like your friend thinks far too much about something that doesn't concern her in the slightest. If it works for your family, that s all that matters

Sounds to me like you are being a good parent. Her kids are probably going to end up refusing to eat anything other than nuggets, chips and beans! You're teaching your kids to eat a variety of food and you're teaching them good table manners and how to hold conversations.

You're doing the sensible thing. Your friend is a bit bonkers.

Agree as PP's
I'm not a short order chef producing different meals
DC ate with me and DH but made evening meal a bit earlier when they were small
I wasn't going to clear up after 2 meal sittings

Who cares what your friend thinks? I'm surprised you're interested enough to ask our opinions.

YANBU and you know it really don’t you? Of course you should eat a family whenever you can, and give your kids proper food not the crap aimed at children. You don’t really need us to tell you this do you?

Sometimes we all eat the same. Sometimes I cook separate meals.

There's no right or wrong.

Your friend sounds very invested in what you're doing as a family. I wouldn't be impressed with that level of interference!

You are the reasonable one, your friend is creating work for herself, IMO.

We eat together all the time. I can't be doing with cooking 2 separate meals, I don't have that kind of time! We usually have dinner around 6:30pm. If the boys are hungry after school (quite often) then they have fruit, or bread and butter, or a bag of crisps - but their main evening meal is with us at 6:30ish. DH goes to bed at 9, the boys not long before that, so we couldn't eat much later - I certainly couldn't wait til the boys were in bed before eating my meal, which I know is what happens in some households.

The only time I could envisage cooking separate meals would be if we were to have a dinner party, but we don't ever do that, so it's not an issue - or if DH and I are going out to dinner but not taking the boys. So I still only cook one evening meal, just for them, not all of us.

I suspect "quick and easy" equates to convenience foods. If she seriously contends that it is better for children to eat chicken nuggets and fish fingers, she needs to have a word with herself.