We have just watched the worst film ever

[StealthPolarBear]

Date movie.
It has alisonhannigan in and we thought it might be light hearted
It was dire. Utter crap. And I have a high threshold for crap, can watch most rubbish as long as its entertaining

If we're going down the Wayans route, what about White Chicks?

Oh it's a million times worse than White Chicks Koala!

I didn't even choose it, it was the request of someone else so I went with it.

I feel scarred.

The Reverend. I was expecting an epic and it was shite! DP fell asleep because we went to a fancy place with sofas. I checked he was breathing at one point because I thought it'd killed him off. So boring, long and boring.
Costs a bomb at the cinema these days too so vowed not to bother after seeing that.

What, worse than Love Actually and PS I love you?

Oh god yes, PS I love you! That is awful.

But it as bad as Jupiter Ascending. Turned it off. Couldn’t watch it. Utter crap.

You’ve never watched open water then. Worst film ever! 😂

I loved Open Water.

@Sarahjconnor yyy! Utterly abysmal. Along with another Julian sands film (with Lori singer from the 'Fame' series) called 'Warlock'!!!

Warlock was great in an 'this is utterly batshit' way. Richard E Grant's accent deserved billing of its own.

That Benjamin Button film. It went on and on and on and on... I was so bored

Babies day out. See above.

Oh, I have another one! Personal Shopper. WTAF? It had rave reviews, it was utter wank!

The most irritating to me is shit films with AMAZING actors. Marlon Wayans is an incredibly talented man - stop making such shit films! Robert De Niro ought to be ashamed of himself as well. And don't get me started on Samuel L Jackson.

Julian Sands does win worst actor ever, in anything, ever though.

I was never much of a Nicolas Cage fan but then watched Bring Out The Dead; it looked like it might be interesting.

I persevered but by the end wished I was dead. Tedious tripe.

We also switched off Fences (I love Denzel Washington but we couldn't understand a word of it after 10 minutes, just loads of mumbling) and Jupiter Ascending. Too weird.

I've seen most of the films mentioned and some I enjoy in a 'so bad it's good way' (Showgirls and Sharknado would fall into this category).

Agree with pp on Hangover 2, Bad Moms, New Years Eve and also have to add What to Expect When You're Expecting and all those terrible Lindsay Lohan films (I Know Who Killed Me, that one where she pretends to be pregnant and The Canyons). Also, tried to watch Sisters the other day too and turned it off halfway through, which I rarely do.

The worst movie has to be Van Helsing.

Christ! that was bad.

I agree the movie was bad, but Hugh Jackman was nice to look at.

A friend from work said come round have a few drinks she decided to put Cosmopolis with Robert Patterson on , and it was awful , confusing and far too hard work to watch , never again !

Oh yes, forgot about The Happening.

And Limitless with Bradley Cooper.

Also Ghost Town, I do like Ricky Gervais and Greg Kinnear but that was utter crap.

I watched Oblivion at the weekend (not my choice) and gave up half way through.

Another film I really did not like was "The Dark", an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back.
I would've left the cinema before the end, but I had to wait for my friends who were driving.

Previously mentioned blockbusters:

Titanic
Love actually
4 weddings...
Bored of the rings
Star wars (all 26 of them)
Mama mia

I have just had the misfortune to watch a Seth Rogan film 'this is the end' or something, about a bunch of "actors" being trapped in James Franco's house when the apocalypse happens. Fuck. My. Eyes. 7 mid/late-30s guys talking about wanking and jizz and rape and being homophobic. For 2 hours. They should all be ashamed of themselves.

ElQuinto - christ, that sounds like a sequel to Superbad.

Have you watched John Wick yet? What a pile of steaming shit, and they have had the cheek to make a sequel.

The Vault is another dire film.

He's Just Not That Into You. I stopped watching after 20 minutes. I couldn't give a shit what happened to any of them.

Also The Circle on netflix with Emma Watson. Quite a good premise but then never really delivered.

VAN HELSING was AWESOME! Worst film ever: Ghost Rider#2

The Snowman was also awful. No bloody idea what was going on.

Ho mercy, I have been on quite a trip whilst snowed in this weekend.

Lavalantula

The special effects are out of this world, the CGI makes Avatar look like a cheap episode of 1970's Dr Who. The titular creatures, giant lava-breathing arachnids, are terrifying, and make H.R. Giger's Aliens look like a harmless bunch of bunny-rabbits. The climactic manifestation of the 'Mama' lantula is mind-blowingly stunning and 100% convincing, and the final battle makes Starship Troopers look like a playground punch-up. But it's not all special effects. The script is blindingly original, laced with hilarious, witty one-liners, delivered by a fantastic, committed cast, mostly made up of former stars from the Police Academy movies, who give it 100000%. The lead, played by Steve Guttenburg, is surely the greatest action hero of ALL time, and makes the likes of Statham, Schwarzenegger, Willis, Van Damme, Lundgren etc look like a bunch of whimpering, shrinking violets in comparison. (Take everything I've written and flip it 180 degrees for the truth.

2 Lava 2 Lantula

Yes, the sequel to Lavalantula is actually called 2 Lava 2 Lantula. GENIUS.

There are 2 incredible scenes that sum up this fantastic movie:

1. The token fat black man with a baseball cap who continually spouts profundities such as 'let's do dis' - and it's embarrassing that in 2016 they can get away with such reprehensible stereotyping, but anyway - just before his fiery death at the mandibles of giant lava-spewing arachnids, utters the immortal phrase: 'Dey 2 lava! Dey 2 lantula! AAAAARGH.' Which makes no sense, but hey, at least they got the title of the movie into the movie.

1. The most glorious moment in celluloid history... Steve Guttenburg, playing a growling, beefed-up action hero, on realising the true size of the end-level boss, utters the even more immortal phrase, 'That ain't no Mama Lantula - THAT'S A FREAKIN' GARGANTULANTULA!'

I'll pause now to let it sink in. Yes, he said that. And it was wonderful.

I eagerly await 3 Lava 3 Lantula, due this July, but they clearly missed a trick with the title - it should obviously be:

3 LAVA 3 MEGAGARGANTULANTULA!!!

I think I need a quiet lie down now.