Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be NEVER speak to SIL again?

410 replies

MadSister1818 · 03/03/2018 18:04

DB and SIL came to stay with their 2 DCs 5 and 2.

After they had gone, I noticed my old bear was missing. Looked high and lo but nothing.

Spoke to DB earlier and asked about my bear. Turns out the 5yo had taken a shine to it and asked SIL if she could take it. SIL SAID YES!!!

To make it worse, she only went and bloody lost it on the way home Sad

I’ve had this bear since I was a baby. It was my most trusted companion and confidant throughout my childhood. DB knows this. But he was laughing whilst being apologetic about the whole thing.

I know I’m overreacting and it was just an accident but I am SO upset.

AIBU to never speak to SIL again? (Obviously I will through gritted teeth but right now I feel like having a full on tantrum).

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 03/03/2018 20:48

Well at least they both know exactly how you feel about your toy.

There really are no excuses for them letting their child take your possession, the fact they hid it from you shows they knew it was unaccecptable.

HunterofStars · 03/03/2018 20:50

I would be furious if my db or dsis did took my teddy dog and his little twin. That said my dsis has a treasured toy from when she was a baby and she would be heartbroken if someone stole him.

What they've done is unforgivable imo.

KendalMintCakey · 03/03/2018 20:52

call the shopping centre. it may be in lost property. Still don't think it's really lost. I was right they are tw&ts! So sorry x

GottadoitGottadoit · 03/03/2018 20:53

Don’t blame you for having a meltdown.

KendalMintCakey · 03/03/2018 20:55

by the way my 2 yr old knows he can't take things because he wants them. He's the middle of 3 and knows he can't have everything he wants. You said rather than have a meltdown... are they lousy "whatever you want parents?"

Chesntoots · 03/03/2018 20:55

My Teddy is over 40 years old and is, quite frankly, a terrifying Frankenbear, that nobody in their right mind would steal (fur missing, arm falling off and a torn ear). But I love him and if anyone touched him I would make the special effort to lay a patio so I could bury the bastard under it!

OP I do hope you find him. You B and SIL are twats. Fact.

JaneEyre70 · 03/03/2018 21:01

See if the shopping centre has a FB page? Or lost property centre? A public appeal on social media is your best bet. And your brother is an arse for not acknowledging how upset you are.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/03/2018 21:01

frasier
That’s fine. I agree about the doormat. It was just anything to keep the peace and try to allow a cousin relationship for the sake of my dd. I described sil to my therapist and she said she sounds like a psychopath - not the dangerous kind, but still properly scary. I can describe the feeling of being like a spider that she’s pulling the legs off of.

LynetteScavo · 03/03/2018 21:04

I think all shopping centres have a central office, definitely worth giving them a call.

Which shopping centre was it?

Grammarist · 03/03/2018 21:10

Really hope it gets found - I'd be absolutely livid if anyone feared to take my bear. I never even hugged it that much as a child but he's MINE from my parents and I'd be so angry if someone did similar.

Your SIL needs to learn some boundaries and be a bit more effective in her parenting. You just don't do what she did. It wasn't hers to lend - so rude!

LagunaBubbles · 03/03/2018 21:25

I still dont think it's lost at all.

WheresTheHooferDoofer · 03/03/2018 21:25

Was just reading the OP aloud and both my DCs are angry on your behalf, OP. You just don't take someone else's belongings, especially not their prized bears/toys. All three of us have precious bears, and would be devastated if they were taken. Your DB and SIL really need to apologise and do their best to find/return bear.

taytotayto111 · 03/03/2018 21:26

I’d make her get the teddy back, act all nice to the stupid woman’s face, then invite myself to hers for a weekend and take as much of her stuff as I could fit in my bags and see how she likes it. THEN I’d stop talking to the silly @&£# for good.
I’d then donate what I took to charity.
The woman is clearly insane, I feel sorry for your brother, what a cabbage he’s ended up with.

FrancisCrawford · 03/03/2018 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mynameisLuca · 03/03/2018 21:29

It's not proper usage. Female is not the correct word in the context you used it.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 03/03/2018 21:30

But I love him and if anyone touched him I would make the special effort to lay a patio so I could bury the bastard under it!

You can use my patio if you like?! I would do the same thing...

PhelanThePain · 03/03/2018 21:31

Ok I’ve changed my mind. It’s not the phrase. It’s you. You're weird.

FrancisCrawford · 03/03/2018 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PhelanThePain · 03/03/2018 21:32

And yes I did see it spoken.

FrancisCrawford · 03/03/2018 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mum2jenny · 03/03/2018 21:33

I personally would never let them into my house again. Meet them in neutral territory and tell them exactly why you are doing this.

Or alternatively visit them, and take what you fancy from their house.

PhelanThePain · 03/03/2018 21:34

Are you pushing some strange trans agenda francis? I can’t understand why you would choose that language when referring to women.

mynameisLuca · 03/03/2018 21:37

The word "female," in its primary usage, is an adjective. When you use "female" as a noun, the subject that you're referring to is erased.

For example:
"I talked to a female yesterday."
A female what? A female kangaroo? A female rock snake? The subject of the sentence is not clear.

As a noun, the word is woman, not female. You are incorrect.

FrancisCrawford · 03/03/2018 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mum2jenny · 03/03/2018 21:41

Wtf does it matter if it's female, or what is female? It's a fucking teddy bear!