To ask about leaving children home alone?

[ThisLittleKitty]

Whats the youngest you would leave a child home alone to pop to the shops? I know everyone's area is different so shops will be further away, but just looking for a general idea.

Year six for mine. Couple of them are over that already and get the bus to/from school and can be left for a few hours. Next one down - about 25 probably!

I find it strange that people think that because it's the "culture" or the "norm" where they are it somehow makes the children magically more able etc. All it means is you won't be judged for the laziness and/or neglect by the other parents who do the same.

Smashed - surely the same is true the other way round? Just because it is the norm here that 6 year olds don't wall themselves to school etc doesn't make them magically incapable.

It's not the same the other way around because six year olds are not ready to be left alone or walk to school alone regardless of any norms. They aren't old enough to cope with emergencies however well trained people convince themselves their children are.

If children of that age manage just fine in multiple countries but don't in the UK don't you think the UK is the one that is the odd one out? If children that age can't cope then there would be lots of issues arising in my country and others but there isn't.

Smashed, but of course that is a cultural norm! If you had been brought up in a culture where 6 year olds are capable you would believe that is totally normal and natural. Everyone believes all cultural norms are wrong except for the their cultural norms

No. All it means is that the children who are left alone haven't been caught up in an emergency or those that have aren't making the news because family aren't exactly going to broadcast it. It doesn't mean that the children can cope if emergencies arise.

It's the typical attitude on these boards of "well if they do it on the continent, it must be a brilliant idea".

I would leave dd1 10. Dtds are 6 and I wouldn't leave them. I can't actually think of a time I'd need to do this though. More likely to send dd1 to get bread than leave dc home alone

I left my 10yo for half an hour today. While I was out she washed up and folded the laundry. She's sensible and responsible and would have managed it years ago but it didn't sit right with me. 6yo ds comes with me. Left alone he'd eat the fridge and its contents and probably set up a makeshift slalom run on the stairs.

8, but DD 10 still doesn't want me to.

To those who are justifying their actions by saying they popped out on foot or in the car and were gone 10 mins, what happens if you were unavoidably delayed or were caught up in an accident?

crimson pretty much the same at 7 as I expect at 14. If I haven't been in touch to explain the delay you go and tell a neighbour. Only difference is the time I'm gone would be longer and therefore more vague now, and I don't need to check the next door neighbour is home and available within calling distance, she has more options as a teen as to who she can contact.

pretty much the same at 7 as I expect at 14

Do you think a seven year olds..

-concept of time
-rationale
-reasoning skills

is the same as a 14 year olds?

No. But I knew that at 7 her ability to tell the time was as good as it could ever be. And that the rationale and maturity to follow the instructions for 5 minutes were as good as required, and that both of those, and her reasoning might not be as good as they are in her at 14, but at 7 were certainly far ahead of many mollycoddled or less mature older dc and teens.

It really is not possible to justify leaving six/seven year olds at home alone. This thread is full of posters professing that their DC are so sensible, mature and confident... It's extremely naive. It's not ok...stop trying to con yourself that it is fine.

I can't remember exactly - late primary age. Probably started with very short trips from 9.5 or 10. Started secondary when only just turned 11 so definitely before that.

I'm not justifying myself. Just amused that someone who imo is just as extreme the other way as those who have said 4/5 thinks they have a right to criticise or judge others.

I get the impression your child is somewhat less responsible/ mature than mine was at the same age. And that's absolutely fine, they're all different, we all parent differently, and they all develop at different speeds. But don't presume that all other dc must only be as capable as yours at the same age, and don't presume that your way of parenting is the best or only way and anyone doing differently is somehow wrong.

Just amused that someone who imo is just as extreme the other way as those who have said 4/5 thinks they have a right to criticise or judge others

My eldest DC is 9 and I don't leave them home alone.

That is perfectly normal parenting...hardly extreme.

As for someone leaving a 4/5 year old home alone, yes I do judge them, and I think it's lazy, neglectful parenting.

Perhaps hogfather is right..Maddie McCann would have been so much safer had she been one year older....absolute morons! A four year old can barely wipe their own backside and you think they can be left alone?

*YearOfYouRemember

Bit sad at all these dogs only getting a ten minute walk..*

And now you are judging dog owners without knowing their situation. Our dog had osteosarcoma and could only manage very short walks. :(

I think DS 1 was about 8 the first time I left him alone for 5/10 mins, eg to go to the polling station.
In Germany the advice at the time was by the time they are 8 they are fine to be left alone for up to 2 hours and the vast majority of kids will be taking themselves to and from school by that age. I think we expect to little of our kids here but without the critical mass of other kids walking to school it's not as easy to let your children do it. Of course there is no critical mass for being home alone.

I didn't think, no, sorry, but are they really that many dogs with the condition you talk about to match the kids only left for ten minutes?

Nothing wrong with not leaving them at 9. I'm referring to how old you think all dc should be, and cba to go back and quote, but when you intend to start.

Fwiw 4/5 wouldn't be my choice, anymore than 11/12 is. I don't personally believe that unless there is some specific, circumstancial reason either is particularly in the child's best interests.

I can't say I judge either though. But if I had to choose between a parent in extreme, unavoidable circumstances leaving a sensible 5yr old for 5 minutes, whilst admitting it's not ideal, and a parent making an active decision with no unusual circumstances to inhibit gradual, normal independence and wait until 12 for 5 minutes alone, I'd have to say the latter was more akin to lazy and neglectful.

There is no such thing as a mature 5 year old- they can be mature for 5, that doesn’t mean they are mature in any god damn way!!! 8years old up is where it’s down maybe to discretion on the situation but 4/5/6..id be reporting you!