To ask about leaving children home alone?

[ThisLittleKitty]

Whats the youngest you would leave a child home alone to pop to the shops? I know everyone's area is different so shops will be further away, but just looking for a general idea.

Pretty stunned by some of the responses on here. I can assure you having worked in Child protection that you wouldn’t just get a SS referral if reported but very possibly arrested and charged as well. I’ve certainly charged a parent who left a 7 year old home alone. Generally the parent is reported by a neighbour or the child is “ discovered” by an unexpected visitor such as a delivery driver or maintenance man. The worse cases obviously involve emergencies like fires and I know instances where children have died in house fires and the mother has turned up in her car swearing blind that she’d only popped to the shops for 10 mins. ( the amount of parents who use that excuse is laughable but the til receipt time stamp often tells a different story - it’s always bloody Calpol that they’ve gone for too) The fact that children of 4 can walk to school on their own in Lithuania or wherever is only relevant in Lithuania and has no relevance to the law in the UK. I think really you need to be talking double figures and absolutely no caring for younger siblings. I would say babies up to 7 under no circumstances.

I can't remember the first time I was left home alone ever, but I remember that I was 14 the first time I was left home alone overnight. I wasn't too happy about it to be honest.

I think my dd was 11, I might have done this at 10 but also it may not have come up as needing to be done.

For me one issue is what happens if something happens to me when out. Highly unlikely I know.

I can honestly say I am shocked by the amount of people admitting that they pop out and leave their children from aged 7 and younger on their own.

5 for my first child. Sensible confident kid, shop was a 30 second walk away. We knew all our near neighbours very well, including elderly ones who rarely left home, whom dd would have felt very comfortable approaching in any sort of emergency. I would have left her for an hour or two from that age, as this felt safe to me, but I decided the potential hassle from Social Services wasn't worth it so I waited until she was 8 to do that.

11.5 for my second child. She's unconfident, gullible, panics in emergencies, doesn't know how to use a telephone. We still live in the same neighbourhood, but she isn't close to any of the neighbours. Few of our current neighbours are home in the daytime anyway - the lovely elderly ones have died. I only leave her for a few minutes at a time.

Kids are different; circumstances are different.

@spiritedlondon 7 year olds are not babies!

Oops I may have misread your post. Anyway I still disagree with you and as a social worker in child protection I do understand risk.

We've been allowing increased independence for my 11 yr old for 2 yrs in preparation for secondary school, when he will have to get the bus on his own. He runs errands, visits local shops, walks home from school alone. Being left in the house hasn't really arisen because of younger siblings, but I should engineer a situation where he is left for a while. I'm a bit shocked at the ages some posters consider it ok to leave a young child home alone. I have a seven year old and wouldn't dream of leaving him. If I knew a 4 yr old or a baby was being left I would report to SS - that is neglect.

Well there was a post on here not long ago about a child who walked to a from school on her own at 6or 7 I think it was. In heavy snow, iiirc the walk was 40 mins. Like I said I personally find that more risky but apparently it's completely normal in certain parts of Europe. Fwiw I haven't left mine to do this yet was just getting opinions on when is suitable

That was my DD. When the school year started the biggest national newspaper here published an article giving parents guidelines on leaving children home alone. It said at age 7 (after of course stating that not all children are ready at age 7 to be left alone) that up to an hour and a half is OK for them to be alone. Quite different from guidelines in the UK! But there certainly isn't a problem with 7 year olds not handling it so they certainly can (again, not all, some certainly aren't ready until older) be handle themselves alone at that age.

I've already commented above, but on the getting back from school, my 6 year old (year2) is expected to leave his classroom, walk through school (2000+ students), find his bus (for our village, same driver each day, and he has a register, so not public transport), and get off in the right place (50m from our door). My heart was in my stomach the first few times, and he did ask me to meet him at school, and come back on the bus for the first few days, but after that he has actively pushed me away.
When given the opportunity to take responsibility for them selves, kids are more capable than we often give them credit for - but I still won't leave him home alone yet!

Funny that someone else here has mentioned that it is illegal to leave a child alone until ages 14y, as I have heard this too.
I have a lovely friend who says her solicitor has said repeatedly that she cannot leave her daughter (now 13y) alone until she is 14y! It’s against the law apparently. I’ve told her that it isn’t true and even showed her NSPCC website which explains it all, but she says the solicitor is the expert and she has a horrible ex who she feels would prosecute her or something if she leaves her at home. So 13yo has never been alone.
I wonder where this 14y thing came from?
Consequently I think my friend thinks I’m very negligent for leaving mine alone from they were 10yo. My eldest is now 13y and loves being alone in the house, bit of peace and quiet.

2 NT dc here. I left them alone for the first time (to pick someone up from the station-2 minutes drive) they were 9 and 6 (nearly 7). It was the middle of the day, in the middle of Summer they were messing about in the garden with the neighbour's children (10 and 6). I told the parents next door I was going and the dcs to go next door if any problems, it was fine. One year later (so dcs aged 10 and nearly 8) I had an hour's childcare "gap" between them being dropped off and my getting back. Very difficult to fill, so they had keys and looked after themselves for that hour, I spent an awful lot of it on the phone to them. By the summer term (11 and 8) they were taking the bus to and from school together. The problem was when the 11 year old went to secondary school the 8 year old wanted to carry on and school didn't like that at all !

Sorry that was an essay. We are at the more laiserre fair end of the parents we know and it has caused a few problems in the past. Dd (now 11) has friends who aren't allowed to to the park for e.g.

First left eldest for 20 min aged 9. First left eldest two together for 45 min aged 10 and very nearly 8.

I'm a bit boggled at responses from people who worry about leaving a 9yo alone, but would leave a 7yo with a 13yo sibling! One thing I've always been quite clear on when leaving my older two is that the elder is not 'looking after' the younger. I don't think it's fair to put that sort of responsibility on them until mid-teens at the earliest.

And I also think it's silly to not be able to countenance leaving an averagely capable 9 or 10yo alone or letting them walk to the shops.

(when I say 'a 7yo', I mean closer to 6 than 8, iyswim)

around here, children walk themselves to school and back in year 5(middle school) so that seems to be the right age for it. About 8. I don’t think there’s any reason not to leave an 8 yr old home alone for a while here and there if they’re NT and don’t have anxiety or other issues going on.

sorry, that’s nine, not eight

This is really interesting. DS1 is 10 and there are a few times I've been tempted to leave him for no more than 15/20 minutes. Issue is DS2 who has SN and couldn't be left! Can pretty much guarantee they'd both be staring at the same screens when I came back though!!!

I left my 3 year old at home with her 14 year old sister on snow day.

Leaving a kid with a kid felt pretty wild - but I think she was safer there then snowploughing the buggy.

5 for my first child. Sensible confident kid,

Sensible and confident is irrelevant. Leaving a 5yo at home is totally irresponsible. They don't have the emotional maturity regardless of how sensible you think they can be.

Posters describing their very young DC as 'sensible' and 'confident' are being very naive. Stop kidding yourselves. You really think your DC knows what to do in an emergency? Maybe some situations but do they know what gas smells like? Would they even know that is an emergency? What if there's a power cut? What if they fall down the stairs? Or choke? Don't pretend they can deal with these things because you're too lazy to take them out with you. No matter how wise and sensible you think your DC are, they do not have the reasoning skills we as adults do.

It was my understanding that's it isn't illegal to leave a child alone but it is illegal to leave children under the care of anyone younger than 16. (Although it might 14). So OK to leave an 8 year on their own but not a 8 with their 12 years old sibling!

Agree completely formerbabe. It's complete laziness. They don't need to be independent enough to be left alone at such young ages. It's for the parents.

Thanks all I will definitely tell him if I do it.

there’s no law everytime. My fifteen year old has babysat many times. They don’t have to be sixteen to babysit!