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Original poster

Childbirth - Anyone NEVER doing it again? *Title Edited by MNHQ*

323 replies

cheshiremama89 · 03/03/2018 00:07

Childbirth that is...

Had DS a month ago tomorrow and the labour was the most horrendous experience I've ever been through.

Even my mum who has had 5 children described it as traumatic.

After a horrible birth, 4 days in hospital and a tough first month of self injecting, iron tabs, antibiotics, compression stockings and constipation I can quite safely say that I won't be doing it again.

Fave program used to be One Born Every Minute, now I can't bear the thought of it.

Thinking about the experience makes me very emotional and I'm looking forward to it being a distant memory.

Has anyone else felt the same? Gotten over it? Done it again?!?'

OP posts:
HungerOfThePine · 03/03/2018 13:12

I felt that way, the whole experience was horrible and I wasn't entirely prepared for it.
I'm not planning on more dc but I would do it again, older and more aware of what to expect and what to ask for if I need it.

I was thinking about it a little while back and no one was there for me emotionally when I needed it most. I should have asked for a hug from someone/anyone it would have made a difference.

HeyhoIndigo · 03/03/2018 20:04

I strongly believe that childbirth is not for the faint hearted. My dad quotes me saying that after my first. I say that as someone who had two normal straightforward births. The first was quite scary, I don't think anything can properly prepare you.

It is worth it though; wait and see how you feel in a couple of years OP. As PP have said you do forget ( until contractions start with number two ! Too late then ). My second birth was much less scary and I enjoyed parts of it; the thought of having a lovely baby at the end of it will motivate you during labour and birth, it did me.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 04/03/2018 02:02

As PP have said, you don’t forget when it’s really traumatic.

alarox · 04/03/2018 03:44

Congratulations OP Flowers your post resonates with me so much! DS's birth was similar, even my DH suggested we don't ever do it again. My mum had 4 easy births and had always rolled her eyes at TV births and said it wasn't that bad Hmm

That said, I had DD soon after. I definitely wanted 2 , can't explain why exactly but think there was an element of "fuck it, it's going to be awful, just get it out the way". When I went in for my (2nd) induction and heard women labouring it made me vomit and shake in pure fear knowing what was to come. Thankfully it was a smooth birth, in fact it was almost enjoyable which is something I never thought I'd say! Still can't bring myself to watch OBEM though.

Izzabellasasperella · 04/03/2018 05:13

I loved being pregnant but dds birth was pretty horrendous. Induced and in labour for hours but because she was back to back she got stuck.I remember whimpering to dh over and over please please make it stop. They tried forceps and ventous (poor little dd and her pointed head when she eventually came out!) Ended up with a Emcs. My dh said I looked like a ghost after but the recovery was ok, well as good as it could be as a first time,sleep deprived, nipples beyond hurting Mum😀. We went on to have ds, I think I must of blocked out my first birth.In the end I had to have a Cs due to D's being breech.I felt great after well until we got home.Sleep deprevation is so hedious, that was probably the worst thing about having a newborn.
I loved being pregnant so much that I would have liked to have been a surrogate but dh was not keen and my age was against me.

Elledorado · 04/03/2018 05:36

The birth of my second was so smooth (and easy!) compared to my first, it was cathartic. I feel really sorry for those who have only one extremely traumatic birth, as I would still have PTSD if not for my second. For the record I have been through it three times now. I still think back to the first one occasionally and get a cold chill but like I said the second and third births healed me.

BitchQueen90 · 04/03/2018 05:48

Yep. I had a difficult birth with DS (forceps, episiotomy). Almost 5 years later and it's still one of the main reasons why I don't want any more DC.

sallythesheep73 · 04/03/2018 17:51

1st birth went really well - homebirth with just some gas and air. Lovely midwives.
2nd birth - horrendous - shite midwife in a hospital. I was terrified and the pain was awful (induction).
After that I said I either wouldn't do it again or would go private. I havent done it again and nearly 5 years later I get nightmares about the b!tch of a midwife (told my husband I would have to wait as it was shift change - meanwhile DD2 was practically popping out of my arse and I was still on an open ward with 3 other people - just fncking awful). Never again.

jollym · 04/03/2018 17:55

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cakesandphotos · 04/03/2018 17:55

I didn’t so much kind the birth although it was horrible. I was induced then refused an epidural for hours because DH had made me take my blood thinner. I Eventually dialated to 10cm and they wheeled me down for a forceps delivery. Which turned into an emergency c section.
4 days in a hot hospital on my own (no other patients, weirdly isolating)
Baby lost too much weight and is struggling to gain it. Then this week I got a UTI and yesterday my c section wound got infected.

For me, it’s the 3 weeks post parfum that put me off far more than the actual birth, that was only one day. The last 3 weeks have been horrible!

scarybiscuit · 04/03/2018 17:57

Nope only one DD dreadful pregnancy sick morning noon and night allergies was awful.
Then she came at 28 weeks + 3 days spent 11weeks in Scbu. (Pre-eclampsia) emergency c section I didn’t really see her for 5 days as I was a bit out of it.
Spent the next year worrying about everything was in and out of hospital with bronchlitis the first 18 months .
She is now a beautiful intelligent funny 14 year old.
But I really couldn’t of gone through it again.

I can remember everything almost down to the day what happened when. And my memory hasn’t faded.

It’s up to you but I don’t regret only having one perfect little doll.

Bratsandtwats · 04/03/2018 17:58

I only ever had one DC due to a traumatic birth, but every birth is different. Just because it happened this time doesn't mean it wil next time.
Would having a 'debrief' with a midwife help you to process your experience?

simiisme · 04/03/2018 17:59

Anyone who says that you forget labour obviously has a very different brain to mine.
My first birth was horrendous - Thursday to Sunday, masses of intervention, terrifying, left me poorly afterwards and requiring a stay in hospital.
When I discovered I was pregnant for a second time, I burst into tears at the thought of having to do it again.
Both my sons were desperately longed for as I had fertility problems.
The second labour was text book perfect. No complications and back home 6 hours later.
I still shudder when I was women on TV giving birth, for real or fictional.
I've never forgotten a second of either labour, but the second birth was so much better.

sandraletitia · 04/03/2018 18:04

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling this way. If no improvement 6-8 weeks after birth do consider seeing a birth trauma practitioner - I’m one but we’re all over the country. www.birthtraumarecovery.com
All the best.

devuskums · 04/03/2018 18:05

My third child was stillborn at 24 weeks just before Christmas last year. I will never forget the horror of it all. The placenta had to be manually removed afterwards... looking to my right while laying on the operating table I could clearly see the surgeon's hands scooping it out from inside of me on the scan machine display. Absolute horror. And no living baby to cuddle to help me get over it. But I would give anything to go through it all again for another child.

emmakc1977 · 04/03/2018 18:06

My first was ok - second was horrendous as it was so quick. Then I had surprise 3rd baby born within 12 months. I really didn’t have time to forget the second labour but actually although still quick, the third was nowhere as bad as the second. It’s true what they say, all labours are different. The end result is worth it though😂

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/03/2018 18:06

One of my dn has a few friends who’ve had babies in the last year, they’ve all said it’s a burning sensation rather than pain Shock

I haven’t kids so no first hand expierience but I’m pretty sure your birth stories are more accurate Grin

user1472151176 · 04/03/2018 18:08

My first birth was very traumatic and I begged to be sterilised after, for fear of ever getting pregnant again. 3 years later I had my DS and it was wonderful. A very healing experience- glad I did it again.

Havana7 · 04/03/2018 18:09

Your labour sounds very similar to mine (I got a pulmonary embolism) and I felt exactly the same as you! Almost traumatised by the experience. Now my baby is 7 months I could quite happily do it again!

Tainbri · 04/03/2018 18:09

Nope, never EVER again! Massivley traumatic birth ( DS also had a brain bleed) not going to go into details but we both survived thanks to amazing NHS staff, immensely grateful but will leave it there!

Treacletoots · 04/03/2018 18:14

Why do you need another child? If one is enough for you then that's all that matters. I was lucky and had an elective CS which was frankly, from what I've heard from others an absolute dream but I've no intention of doing it all again.

I hated being pregnant, and towards the end had a fair few serious problems, which ultimately led to being offered the planned CS which I'm unbelievably grateful for.

Births are trauma and if you need help recovering, both mentally and physically please ask for it.

Jayfee · 04/03/2018 18:16

There was one point when I thought I would die from the pain. My friend had the same experience. I did have a second child and it was much quicker - 2 hours compared to ten hours. You have to do what is right for you. Only children are happy, so are children with siblings. Just enjoy your baby and see how you feel in two years time??

BestZebbie · 04/03/2018 18:19

I didn't have a "traumatic birth" (though we'd have both died without an emergency c-section as DS was very breech). That was still enough to confirm never again, and also to wonder what sick fuck thought of celebrating birthdays for the first two years as that last thing I wanted was a cheery annual all-family celebration of me basically being torturted.

laura6032 · 04/03/2018 18:21

Yup, hated it, was sick for full nine months of pregnancy, the labor was horrendous, worst experience of my life.
My ds is 4.5 and I'm pregnant lol, feeling sick and dreading the birth.

TopSop · 04/03/2018 18:22

First pregnancy was plain sailing, but the birth was horrendous and went on and on (and on!) as the baby was back to back. Recovered from the trauma and the tearing - but my husband was adamant we weren't doing it again as he was so traumatised by the whole experience - his mother's mother died in childbirth and he thought he was going to lose me. Fast forward 4 years to my second pregnancy - felt sick all the time, actually lost weight! - but the birth process was calm and virtually stress- free, and much shorter! I guess you never know what you're going to end up with. I was terrified of having another one back to back, so I spent a lot of time head down on the stairs! and got myself a kneeling chair for working, to ensure I couldn't slump!