Was DH being unreasonable?

[smileygrapefruit]

DH just walked to the shop for a few bits, got to the check out and said "Morning love, crazy weather out there!" She refused to serve him because he'd called her love. For context, we're in Yorkshire where every one calls every one love, DH calls his male friends love. This will probably divide opinion on MN but I'm wondering if it served him right or whether the lady should have served him? He had to walk as we can't get the car out due to the snow and the next shop is going to be a good 40 min walk each way!

She is ridiculous not to serve him.

“On another note; it's this kind of thing that men will pick up on to say that feminism has 'gone too far'. “

And then everyone piles in and says that there’s nothing sex specific about it, men all over the country are calling other men they don’t know love and pet and sweetheart and my lover....which is patent bollocks.

Ooh waiting eagerly for an update!

Completely barmy. The owner of a shop near my folks use to shout 'See yer, cock' when you left. Blokes used to pretend to adjust their flies

If she didn't like being called 'love' she has every right to say that. But to not serve someone is a poor solution imo

There are times when being called "Love" can be horribly patronising: "Er, I don't think so, love

To be one the safe side perhaps add an, 'I was being fucking nice,'
after any endearment.

Oh FFS.
We need a bit more “ luvin” everywhere.

Parking my butt for an update. What a crazy lady! I use terms of endearment all the time!

So in a way I'd love to see all women shop assistants refuse to serve anyone who uses patronising or mysoginist language.

But it's not patronising language per se- its a colloquial phrase. It's fine not to like it, and to ask people not to use it ABOUT YOU; but it's hugely arrogant and bizarre to take offence and take action against someone.

To be prejudiced against someone because you don't like their language is daft. It qualitatively no different to refusing service because of someone's ethnicity or sexuality (though obviously this is not equivalent).

I bet she serves you. If she does i hope you inform her what she did earlier.

I am not a fan of being called love but she was being way over the top. Your husband clearly did not mean it in a nasty was. Can't see that shop doing too much business.

She refused to serve him because he'd called her love

I'm amazed someone like that can actually get through the day.

YANBU
She needs to save her spite for someone more deserving.

Oooh, a cliffhanger thread - my favourite!

It's all about context, isn't it? I don't really like 'love', 'pet' etc if they're only used for women, but it sounds as though 'love' in your context is completely non-discriminatory.

And then everyone piles in and says that there’s nothing sex specific about it, men all over the country are calling other men they don’t know love and pet and sweetheart and my lover....which is patent bollocks.

Love, mate, pal, petal, flower and treacle have all been said to me by other blokes in the last year. Personally it makes me a bit uncomfortable when its incessant, but that isn't their issue.

In my experience it's more prevalent in older and working class men. I get called love far, far more from women than men. It's not a majority of men who talk like this oop north, but it certainly isn't bollocks.

And then everyone piles in and says that there’s nothing sex specific about it, men all over the country are calling other men they don’t know love and pet and sweetheart and my lover....which is patent bollocks
I've certainly never heard men call each love but then I'm not in the right part of the country. I have heard older women call both men and women darling and love so not sure it is completely sex specific. Heard older men (where I am) refer to younger men as son as well

This really did not happen.

@BertrandRussell. You do this every time someone post what you perceive to be anti-feminist stereotypes, and it's rude.

I had the same initial thought, and my first post expresses how unlikely/foolish the shop woman's comment is- but it is not OK to trollhunt about posters who have been on MN for a long time posting quite normally. We have to assume honesty.

Unfortunately part of the reason that silly stereotypes about 'snowflake lefties' exist is because they are sometimes true.

Does he also regularly get a hard time from women for holding doors open?

This is exactly what crossed my mind too. Funny how men always have these stories about crazy women overreacting to their politeness, but there's never any witnesses.

I think DH used "love", and she simply didn't respond to it how he wanted (big smile) and she probably continued serving him, albeit grumpily, so DH stormed out in a huff and then made the story up. I bet. I bet you a tenner this is what actually happened.

It is all about context. In the scenario described by the OP I can't see any misogyny. I've been told to "cheer up, love" which I found particularly grating. I've also read about transwomen describing their experiences of misogyny - now that really took the biscuit .
OP, I await the results of your experiment.

I'm from the NE, get called 'pet' all the time, bring called 'love' would be a step up!

Well @ScabbyAbby you would her sincerely sick of your own voice repeating those words if you lived in Yorkshire.